When The Time Comes

Chdamn

Dungeon Master
Staff member
2A Bourbon Hound OG
Charter Life Member
Benefactor
Multi-Factor Enabled
Joined
Dec 16, 2016
Messages
70,438
Location
In the Dungeon
Rating - 100%
3   0   0
When the time comes that I should pass
Do not mourn me but raise your glass

Whether rich or poor we all must die
I’d rather you laugh than sulk and cry

Fill the hall with music, laughter and cheer
And serve only the finest whiskey and beer

Tell stories of my life and make lots of toasts
Remember how knowing me affected you most

Do not remember the pain of my death
Do not be sad I’ve taken my last breath

Rejoice instead the life that I had
And take me with you to get through the bad.

For as long as I’m carried in others hearts
I’ll aways be with you and never apart.

And when the party is over and everyone is gone
Take my ashes and flush them down the John.
 
When the time comes that I should pass
Do not mourn me but raise your glass

Whether rich or poor we all must die
I’d rather you laugh than sulk and cry

Fill the hall with music, laughter and cheer
And serve only the finest whiskey and beer

Tell stories of my life and make lots of toasts
Remember how knowing me affected you most

Do not remember the pain of my death
Do not be sad I’ve taken my last breath

Rejoice instead the life that I had
And take me with you to get through the bad.

For as long as I’m carried in others hearts
I’ll aways be with you and never apart.

And when the party is over and everyone is gone
Take my ashes and flush them down the John.

Is that like a burial at sea of pee?
 
Is that like a burial at sea of pee?

Lol. I’ve just always thought it would be a fitting end to my wake. Never been much for the somberness of funerals and respect for the shell that was someone. Better to have a great time remembering their life.

It may sound like a joke but I’ve instructed my wife many years ago that is my wish. Cheapest cremation service and urn then have a party instead and flush my ashes at the end.
 
Lol. I’ve just always thought it would be a fitting end to my wake. Never been much for the somberness of funerals and respect for the shell that was someone. Better to have a great time remembering their life.

It may sound like a joke but I’ve instructed my wife many years ago that is my wish. Cheapest cremation service and urn then have a party instead and flush my ashes at the end.

Ima poop at your house and flush you with my stool on that day
 
Celebrating someone's life who has left us behind. That is what it is. I won't delve into it too much as this thread is in the public's eye.

That said, I wholeheartedly agree with the OP. Of course there will be mourning. That's human nature. But celebrating the life of someone who has left us behind is the most important thing we can do.

When my Mom passed away in 2010, I gave the minister residing over her funeral a funny story to tell during the service. It went something like this:

Here's a funny story from Patricia's son Dave that occurred in the early '90's. Pat called Dave and Susan's house one evening and heard a strange voice on the answering machine.

Dave and Susan got the message that Pat, her husband (Dave's Dad), and Jean, Pat's sister, left on the recording.

Pat: "Hmmmm. That doesn't sound like Dave. This is so strange. Jean, call Dave and Susan's house and see what you hear."

My aunt Jean on our voicemail: "Well I don't know Pat, that doesn't sound like Dave at all on that recording. Dick (my Dad), why don't you call down there and see what you think about this strange man's voice on the answering machine at Dave and Susan's house?"

My Dad on our voicemail: "No. That doesn't sound like Dave. They must have changed their number or something because That's certainly not Dave on that recording."

It was the default computer voice on the answering machine after a power failure that had erased our greeting.:D:D

It's impossible not to mourn a loss of someone you care about, but so much more important to celebrate the life of that person. This applies to beloved pets as well.
 
When the time comes that I should pass
Do not mourn me but raise your glass

Whether rich or poor we all must die
I’d rather you laugh than sulk and cry

Fill the hall with music, laughter and cheer
And serve only the finest whiskey and beer

Tell stories of my life and make lots of toasts
Remember how knowing me affected you most

Do not remember the pain of my death
Do not be sad I’ve taken my last breath

Rejoice instead the life that I had
And take me with you to get through the bad.

For as long as I’m carried in others hearts
I’ll aways be with you and never apart.

And when the party is over and everyone is gone
Take my ashes and flush them down the John.
Stolen and passed to my family, some got confused with “the John” since that is my first name. They wanted to change that word to eliminate the grandkids eventual confusion ;)
 
Last edited:
Stolen and passed to my family, some got confused with “the John” since that is my first name. They wanted to change that word to eliminate the grandkids eventual confusion ;)

Try this.

Make the party epic like I was a famous rapper.
But at the end of the night flush my ashes down the crapper.
 
Likely this would have to be a big outdoor event, so how do you feel about being launched into the afterlife via space shuttle?
 
  • Like
Reactions: SPM
Told my son after my ticket gets punched, he's going to inherit my reloading equipment.

Said to take a grain or two of my ashes and load them into each round, so when he, my wife and my daughter go to the range, I can tag along with them.
 
I want another handloader to mix my ashes with a few pounds of powder and send me out in a large belt of continuous automatic fire
 
When i was a young child about age 5 I played under a cedar tree. My grandpa had the side boards for his truck under the tree. We slid boards through gaps in the sides to make a floor for us to play on. My desire is that my body be baked until I am just ash. Dump them under the cedar tree growing in the back yard. My wife.can come and talk to me anytime she wants.

Sent from my SM-J320V using Tapatalk
 
When i was a young child about age 5 I played under a cedar tree. My grandpa had the side boards for his truck under the tree. We slid boards through gaps in the sides to make a floor for us to play on. My desire is that my body be baked until I am just ash. Dump them under the cedar tree growing in the back yard. My wife.can come and talk to me anytime she wants.

Sent from my SM-J320V using Tapatalk
Until she moves off some where with another man. :p
 
Last edited:
I'm in for the $695 special cremation locally. Then I go in a 6 inch diameter 5 foot long piece of PVC capped on both ends. This to be buried by my shooting friends under the granite front step of The Battery Oaks gun room. Contents will be..
The ashes of my dogs that precede me
$100 Bill
S&W model 36 Chief
To kinda modify an old saying....There ain't many things a man can't fix with a hundred dollar bill and a model 36.
 
I am to be cremated and sprinkled at Mermaids Point (the confluence of the Cape Fear River). My daughter (10) says "daddy wouldn't it be better for the catfish you catch if we just chopped you up and tossed you in there?" haha either way works for me kiddo.
 
My ole man always said he wanted some of his ashes to be loaded into a shotgun shell and shot into the azz end of a bear. He sure could make me laugh.
Mom had him stuck in a pine box and buried instead.

Mine has always said he wants to be buried face down so we’d all have a place to park our bikes. Hahahaha.
 
Tried one of those once............it didn't turn out well at all. Looked like some weird, deformed, bug eaten mushroom.

You think it was the kit or a bad errr...specimen?:eek:
 
Mom had him stuck in a pine box and buried instead.

We should ALL be buried in a pine box, in my opinion. Or, rather, we should ALL be able to CHOOSE this option, if we so wish.

This burying people in a waterproof casket, sealed in a burial vault, which costs THOUSANDS of dollars is a load of horse manure. So is embalming.

As it turns out, there are actually very few legal requirements on these matters across the States. Embalming is almost never required, but there may be time limits associated with this...like embalming or refrigeration if the body is not disposed of within 24 hours (which makes sense...bodies start decomposing immediately upon death, and it doesn't take long for things to happen and smells to get rank). Home burial is almost never restricted by law, but there may be zoning proscriptions and the like. Expensive caskets and burial vaults aren't required by law, but cemeteries may require a vault to keep the ground from settling. Some states may require a funeral director for some parts of the process.

All in all, the whole schtick is really a dog-and-pony show for the survivors and that's it. It's always kind of smacked of people taking advantage of others in their "time of need". Seems to me to be a huge expense at a time when the surviving family may actually need the money for other things.

As far as I'm concerned, my family could sell my body to Alpo (or medical science), take the money (and the money saved from an expensive funeral) and tie one on in my memory.
 
Half of my ashes will be released from a motorcycle going down the Blue Ridge Pkwy, the other half will be spread over a ski slope in Colorado.
Funerals are just like weddings, both industries have convinced society that they must spare all costs for the "special" day.
 
Mine has always said he wants to be buried face down so we’d all have a place to park our bikes. Hahahaha.
or for the world to kiss his ass ;)
 
And so do I. 6lb field cannon. That's it in my av pic.

Where did you get it? I'm trying to work out a plan for acquiring one for my SAR Chapter to use - and I've looked at Steen and Dixie Gun works stuff, hut interested in any other manufacturers as well. There's a guy in Argentina that does amazing and beautiful work, but he doesn't ship to the US.

EDIT: that thing looks fun as hell. I'm jealous. lol
 
Last edited:
Where did you get it? I'm trying to work out a plan for acquiring one for my SAR Chapter to use - and I've looked at Steen and Dixie Gun works stuff, hut interested in any other manufacturers as well. There's a guy in Argentina that does amazing and beautiful work, but he doesn't ship to the US.

EDIT: that thing looks fun as hell. I'm jealous. lol
I got mine from Dixie Gun works.
Had it shipped to work:eek: you should have seen my bosses face when it hit the loading dock.;)
 
We should ALL be buried in a pine box, in my opinion. Or, rather, we should ALL be able to CHOOSE this option, if we so wish.

This burying people in a waterproof casket, sealed in a burial vault, which costs THOUSANDS of dollars is a load of horse manure. So is embalming.

As it turns out, there are actually very few legal requirements on these matters across the States. Embalming is almost never required, but there may be time limits associated with this...like embalming or refrigeration if the body is not disposed of within 24 hours (which makes sense...bodies start decomposing immediately upon death, and it doesn't take long for things to happen and smells to get rank). Home burial is almost never restricted by law, but there may be zoning proscriptions and the like. Expensive caskets and burial vaults aren't required by law, but cemeteries may require a vault to keep the ground from settling. Some states may require a funeral director for some parts of the process.

All in all, the whole schtick is really a dog-and-pony show for the survivors and that's it. It's always kind of smacked of people taking advantage of others in their "time of need". Seems to me to be a huge expense at a time when the surviving family may actually need the money for other things.

As far as I'm concerned, my family could sell my body to Alpo (or medical science), take the money (and the money saved from an expensive funeral) and tie one on in my memory.

^^^This. I told my wife I want a Pine Box. No need for all the expensive stuff. Also, don't let my dead body touch any dirt except that of Virginia... west of the Blue Ridge from Bristol to Winchester. If she wants to cremate me and spread me on the ridges between those two areas..... that is fine by me.

But, in reference to the OP Poem.. you could be like my Italian Grandmother.... she said, and I quote, "Bury me with my Ass in the air, so people can walk by and kiss it"

She was hardcore..
 
Last edited:
Back
Top Bottom