Just how redneck ARE you?

Tim said:
I think I posted this at the other place a few years ago, but just ran across it again whilst cleaning up....

Posted at the entrance to the family place in Michigan...my redneck bona fides:

View attachment 56438
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Real rednecks don't use words like trauma, intent, and central nervous system.
 
I’m neither a redneck or a hillbilly. But I have a fairly extensive line of white trash in my blood from one side of the family.

Let’s just put it this way. When that side of the family has a reunion at least half of them could tow their homes to it.
 
Button Pusher said:
Large billboard on a farm located on a back road on the way to Charleston, SC
No Trespassing
We don't call 911
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Every time I pass that thing I'm thinking, "That's a stupid thing to post if they do have to defend themselves. The DA will have a field day."
Then I wonder if he's one of us.
I'll see if I can get a picture next week.
 
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I did some work for a family from my area. After all the legalese no trespassing signs on the way in,mthey have signs that read "just because you show up unannounced, without permission" "doesn't mean you will leave". With a 1911 silhouette and a track hoe silhouette at the bottom.

Man I love that old bastard:) But his wife is the one to be scared of!
 
I built a trebuchet, with a 14 ft throwing arm, and flung flaming pumpkins into the pond by my house. Got about 200ft out of it.
Sorry, no pics. It was before cell ph cameras. But damn, that was fun.
The neighbors loved it.
It was for my friends wedding reception.
 
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premise said:
My wife can drink more Busch Light than most men here. And I club a wounded squirrel with an old table leg while in my underwear in the backyard on a weekly basis. Hillbilly enough for you?
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I accept that challenge. When and where?

I use a hammer handle for dispatch. I build for a living so an Estwing is usually handy:)
 
I don't know how to do a screen shot, nevertheless transfer one from a phone to a pc.

I showed my boss a text string between my wife and I this evening. He liked to have fell out laughing.

I'll type it out word for word, misspellings and all.



Wife
Shot a snapping turtle in the
yard, 4 times


Wife
It was in the driveway trying to
get one of the turkeys


Me
Fun times


Wife
That was a couple hrs ago.
Michael poked it just now
and said it wasn't dead yet,
so i shot it 3 more times


Wife
Girls have sewing class
today. We'll be back home by
6:30


Me
Ok. What are you shooting
turtle with?


Wife
9mm


Me
Ok


Me
Maybe you should run over it
on the way out for good
measure


Wife
Ok


Wife
We are at sewing class now.
Bologna sandwiches ok for
supper?


Me
Yeah


Me
Or turtle. Whichever is
easier


Wife
Ok. Depends on whether the
turtle is dead or not when we
get back


Me
Ok.
 
thrillhill said:
I don't know how to do a screen shot, nevertheless transfer one from a phone to a pc.

I showed my boss a text string between my wife and I this evening. He liked to have fell out laughing.

I'll type it out word for word, misspellings and all.



Wife
Shot a snapping turtle in the
yard, 4 times


Wife
It was in the driveway trying to
get one of the turkeys


Me
Fun times


Wife
That was a couple hrs ago.
Michael poked it just now
and said it wasn't dead yet,
so i shot it 3 more times


Wife
Girls have sewing class
today. We'll be back home by
6:30


Me
Ok. What are you shooting
turtle with?


Wife
9mm


Me
Ok


Me
Maybe you should run over it
on the way out for good
measure


Wife
Ok


Wife
We are at sewing class now.
Bologna sandwiches ok for
supper?


Me
Yeah


Me
Or turtle. Whichever is
easier


Wife
Ok. Depends on whether the
turtle is dead or not when we
get back


Me
Ok.
Click to expand...

You sir. Live the life of a man I wish to emulate. I get so jealous that you are so far away when I see your get togethers.

At the same time I'm thankful your on the other side of NC as I'd own every knife that you sell, plus you would end up naming an area between two trees nearby as Nick's " not driving, hammock n' dumb stuff shall appear" site:)
 
thrillhill said:
I don't know how to do a screen shot, nevertheless transfer one from a phone to a pc.

I showed my boss a text string between my wife and I this evening. He liked to have fell out laughing.

I'll type it out word for word, misspellings and all.



Wife
Shot a snapping turtle in the
yard, 4 times


Wife
It was in the driveway trying to
get one of the turkeys


Me
Fun times


Wife
That was a couple hrs ago.
Michael poked it just now
and said it wasn't dead yet,
so i shot it 3 more times


Wife
Girls have sewing class
today. We'll be back home by
6:30


Me
Ok. What are you shooting
turtle with?


Wife
9mm


Me
Ok


Me
Maybe you should run over it
on the way out for good
measure


Wife
Ok


Wife
We are at sewing class now.
Bologna sandwiches ok for
supper?


Me
Yeah


Me
Or turtle. Whichever is
easier


Wife
Ok. Depends on whether the
turtle is dead or not when we
get back


Me
Ok.
Click to expand...

You’d think the turtles would be smart enough by now to avoid goin anywhere near Casa Hill.
 
I have no cred to speak of in this department, but unlike the turtle, I am allowed to pass onto ThrillHill turf greeted by smiles and meals instead of bullets.
 
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I truly love my southern country heritage and my family has redneck leanings. I don’t know if I can really claim to be a redneck since I live in Raleigh and have a PE. I am the city slicker of the family. My great Aunt told me stories about having a pet skunk and we are from the hills of Wilkes County.

I am definitely “that neighbor” though. I was in my garage, defleshing a deer skull that I had killed last deer season, when I noticed a bunch of my neighbors hanging out across the street. I walked out to the edge of the garage and said hey. They said come hang out. So I walked over with a knife and a halfway defleshed deer skull. Yeah, I got a bunch of weird looks and a “what are you doing?” Or two.... hahaha
 
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I almost forgot to add. I asked my grandmother one time how my cousin and her new husband were doing. She said they were in the iron and steel business.

Now considering they had their honeymoon at South of the Border (not even kidding) I wasn’t expecting that so I asked “what do you mean”.

She said “She irons all day and he steals all night”.
 
thrillhill said:
I don't know how to do a screen shot, nevertheless transfer one from a phone to a pc.

I showed my boss a text string between my wife and I this evening. He liked to have fell out laughing.

I'll type it out word for word, misspellings and all.



Wife
Shot a snapping turtle in the
yard, 4 times


Wife
It was in the driveway trying to
get one of the turkeys


Me
Fun times


Wife
That was a couple hrs ago.
Michael poked it just now
and said it wasn't dead yet,
so i shot it 3 more times


Wife
Girls have sewing class
today. We'll be back home by
6:30


Me
Ok. What are you shooting
turtle with?


Wife
9mm


Me
Ok


Me
Maybe you should run over it
on the way out for good
measure


Wife
Ok


Wife
We are at sewing class now.
Bologna sandwiches ok for
supper?


Me
Yeah


Me
Or turtle. Whichever is
easier


Wife
Ok. Depends on whether the
turtle is dead or not when we
get back


Me
Ok.
Click to expand...
This one makes two winners. One for him and the wife.
 
Climberman said:
I truly love my southern country heritage and my family has redneck leanings. I don’t know if I can really claim to be a redneck since I live in Raleigh and have a PE. I am the city slicker of the family. My great Aunt told me stories about having a pet skunk and we are from the hills of Wilkes County.

I am definitely “that neighbor” though. I was in my garage, defleshing a deer skull that I hand killed last deer season, when I noticed a bunch of my neighbors hanging out across the street. I walked out to the edge of the garage and said hey. They said come hang out. So I walked over with a knife and a halfway defleshed deer skull. Yeah, I got a bunch of weird looks and a “what are you doing?” Or two.... hahaha
Click to expand...
When its killing time my neighbors all gather to watch. Weather I'm shooting a pig or wringing a birds neck they all stand in amazement.
 
Climberman said:
Auto correct got me. Had killed. Not hand killed
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Lol....happens all the time. I understand where you're coming from. I never lived in town until I was married and had a child. I've gotten my fair share of strange looks but I'm also the one that fed near about the whole street when Matthew came through and left us without power and water for an extended period of time. Now I'm not so "strange" anymore.
 
My family is so far flung, with so many crazy stories I don't know where to start.

Two of the places I used to go as a kid still had outhouses. My grandmothers home place for the reunion and the old house they still rented where my dad and uncles grew up (which happens to be Henry River, District 12 Hunger Games). The home place had, and still has, a beautiful working spring house with the best water in NC in Hot Springs.

That grandmother also walked to school barefoot to save her shoes for the winter. The original kitchen in the house had a dirt floor. And she used to clean the smoke off the walls with a razor blade.

My other grandmother beat her dad with a ball bat when he came home drunk from his girlfriends. She also went after a guy that tried to rape her sister and had my mom in the car with her. She picked up a beer bottle on the way to the door, broke it on the stoop, kicked the front door open, found him, and stuck the beer bottle to his neck and threatened to kill him if he ever came close to her sister again. Her brother was in jail for murder, and my grandfather bribed the Governor to get him out. I've seen her shoot at someone in the back yard and came home to holes in the window screen from shooting at a car doing donuts in front of the house. She had 2 guns in the side of her chair until dementia made it too dangerous. Mean as a snake with a mouth to match it.

I'm pretty tame by comparison. But it's all there right under the surface.

The closest I can come to Thrillhill is my wife texting me that there was a rabbit in the garden and she was going to have Lauren go shoot it with her bow. She missed that one but did take the tail off one at 25 yards a little later.
 
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