Military Memes

and one for laughs...

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Thank God I was in PSYOP for the majority of my platoon sergeant years, as Os weren't allowed to come over till they were "senior" Captains or Majors. That presented its own set of problems, but most were smart enough to leave behind their "big Army" ways & get with the program

We got a new guy into the unit one time. Never saw him before till he showed up at Sergeant's Time training once Wednesday morning. We were doing combatives/hand to hand, so we were all in BDU pants, PT shirt & PT shoes. Figured he was maybe a young-ish NCO or maybe a Don in the E-4 mafia. We were partnered up by lining up about 5 yds apart in two lines facing each other & would rotate after every "round". I beat his monkey ass for 4 hours solid & never more than a 'oof!' out of him. No attitude, no stink eye & gave it hell every time we squared up.

Turns out he was a CPT (& a former MP company commander) & since all the other Os were off on some boondoggle that day, he decided to come hang out with us. Not the brightest move, given what was plainly listed on the training schedule, but ballsy. Oh yeah, the best part? I'm sittin' in my office, just after lunch & guess who walks into my office & introduces himself as my new PL. Lol!

Turned out to be one of the best Os I ever worked with. When he introduced himself, he says, "Hey Sergeant, my name's Dusty. Mind if I call you Carl?" He says to me that even though he just graduated the course, he didn't know squat about how shit really got done. Asked would I show him the way & not let him make a fool of hisself while he was figurin' things out. Damn good dude. He went & took care of O shit & trusted me to handle the NCO business.

I have had some tools though, as well. In Bosnia '97/'98 as the NCOIC of the hospital's Mental Health detachment, we ran two traveling teams that made weekly rotations through the outlying camps. We'd hookup/cohabitate with the chaplain team & do our thing. Was a PITA to make happen due to force pro requirements, as we had to deal with the S3 to get slotted into a convoy (4 vehicle minimum, with M60 MG & good comms to leave the Tuzla valley) & then wrangle with our company for bodies to man the pig, 'cos we were medical peeps & Geneva Convention forbids us from using crew served weapons. I'd been handling it for 3 or 4 months with zero issues until we get this jackass 1LT in who was a direct commission with a MSW. This MFer is trying to micromanage the crap outta me & anytime anything went slightly sideways, he'd start buggin' & blamin' me.

Told 1LT Jackass that it was too bad the Army had done away with the Spec-5 rank. He asked why & I told him he was riding my ass like a rented pony, nit-picked & over complicated every single detail of layin' on our road trips & blamed me whenever something went wrong. He's all, you're the NCO, it's your responsibility. I asked how it was my fault when he directed every detail of the boondoggle? He got all wannabe huffy & blustery & I just told him, "Sir, all the respect due your rank as a commissioned officer in the United States Army, I've been pushing troops longer than you've been in the Army. I know WTF I'm doing, so how 'bout you go drink coffee with the other Os & let me do my gawtdamn job."

He got all pissy & went running to our OIC, MAJ P (a West Point grad who'd been slotted to go Infantry, but went to med school & became a shrink instead). Doctor P had a sit down with myself & 1LT Jackass, along with LT's butt buddy CPT friend who was also in our detachment (& also a PITA). He says, "Carl works for me & you two clowns work for me. Carl does not work for either of you, nor do any of his soldiers. You are social workers, not PLs or OICs. From this point forward, if you wish to speak with Carl regarding anything work related, you will route that request through me. Are we clear?"

I do not suffer fools lightly & any O (other than a commander) whose douchebaggery impacted my soldiers found themselves tripped up & trying to explain the exact nature of their major malfunction to the old man.
 
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Chuckman said:
I don't know many deck apes who actually liked being a deck ape. I have a good friend from HS (now a Durham firefighter) who was an ABM, and hated it. Seemed like hard, physical, smelly work to me.
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I was a squadron flight deck troubleshooter final checker (in 3 different squadrons) and loved ever minute on the deck, dirty, nasty, hot, covered in JP and hydraulic fluid. but the thrill of being on the cats doing one of the most dangerous jobs in the world and the responsibility for the lives of your aircrew made it a great job. you either loved it or hated it. I loved it and would love to be able to do Just one more launch before I pass on
 
Crazy Carl said:
I do not suffer fools lightly & any O (other than a commander) whose douchebaggery impacted my soldiers found themselves tripped up & trying to explain the exact nature of their major malfunction to the old man.
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I was working the flag security gate and got my tail chewed by a ROTC O-2 - (a man I'd never seen, in civvies, driving a pov up to the security checkpoint) - for "failing to show proper respect" when I stopped him and requested he identify himself. I finally convinced him he wasn't going anywhere without a righteous ID and a reason for being at my checkpoint. He swore to have me NJP'ed as he drove on base, and I thought no more about it.

An hour later, Flag came through out the gate in his vehicle, stopped at the gate, called me over, and said, "Taylor, I took care of that a***h** for you." I thanked him, trying to think what he was talking about. Right before the end of my watch, the O-2 came out through the gate, stopped and offered me a lengthy apology, which I graciously acknowledged.

It's always good to have an old-school O-8 to rely on. :D
 
Winter '97, I'm the HMFIC of the front gate guard tower of the hospital camp in Tuzla. Small convoy of HMMWVs comes roarin' up & some MP LTC standing in the gunner's hatch of the lead vehicle starts freaking out when I ask for IDs & instruct them to clear their weapons & point to the bank of clearing barrels to their right. "Sergeant, you will....!!! Blah blah blah!!! By God, I'll...!!!" Typical field grade hissy fit. Do what you gotta do sir, but yer not entering my camp without ID & clearing all weapons.

I call our S3 & he comes out to see WTF is going on. Turns out, a snatch & grab team had picked up a PIFWC (personnel indicted for war crimes) who'd resisted & gotten a dose of lead poisoning. They were bringing him to our hospital for treatment. S3 tells jagoff that 1) they will show ID & clear weapons if they want to come in, 2) lay off the secret squirrel act & call us to let us know they're coming so we could be ready for them & 3) they could've been inside & treatment of their patient begun over a half hour ago if they'd simply followed my instructions in the first place.

ETA- My mother's 3rd husband (of 4) was a USAF SP in the late '50's/early '60's. Said he was on the flightline one evening when a privately owned vehicle comes rolling up like they own the place. Says they run the car down, stop it & he demands the driver's ID. Driver asks him, "Do you know I am?" He says, "I don't care if yer Curtis F'ing Lemay, yer not comin' on the flightline in yer POV." Driver hands him his ID & well, it's GEN Curtis E. Lemay. Told him, "Good job, son, but I'm kind of in a hurry." Roy snapped off a salute & wished him a nice evening.
 
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DrScaryGuy said:
... I told him that people can't eat dog food, and then got to watch him prove me wrong without so much as a flinch or a yuck face. He doesn't talk about his time in vietnam, but i'm guessing he went through more than he lets on ...
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There's 'this guy' who would eat your turd -- hot or cold -- for $10 on a bet once he got back in the world, just for S&G. Apparently he had been known as a 'snake-eater' (there may have been monkey and rat involved as well) in that prior lifetime, so odd ingestibles were not a big deal to him.
 
Hammer21b said:
We always cut the liners out of them, especially when we were at NTC!
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August 1997. I just got done with basic and AIT in FT Sill OK. Got to Ft Hood TX and immediately went to NTC. My second 4 yr enlistment I spent half of in a furckin desert.
I no longer like being in the sun. Not even a little bit.
 
Scrubber3 said:
August 1997. I just got done with basic and AIT in FT Sill OK. Got to Ft Hood TX and immediately went to NTC. My second 4 yr enlistment I spent half of in a furckin desert.
I no longer like being in the sun. Not even a little bit.
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NTC blows. Was my first duty station as a freshly minted 11C in '88. Hated that place so much, I found a dude at Sill willing to do a stateside swap by early '89.

I grew up in KS, with snow up to my damn eyeballs, but the coldest I've been in my life was in the middle of the Mojave desert & that includes going to the field in Grafenwoehr in December.
 
Crazy Carl said:
NTC blows. Was my first duty station as a freshly minted 11C in '88. Hated that place so much, I found a dude at Sill willing to do a stateside swap by early '89.

I grew up in KS, with snow up to my damn eyeballs, but the coldest I've been in my life was in the middle of the Mojave desert & that includes going to the field in Grafenwoehr in December.
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I was always on the advance det. I got to NTC a week before the company last time to find all of my gear locked up in the c0mpany cones! The 1st night there was cold!!! The 2nd night was Colder and All gay jokes aside, me and another guy huddled together in a shared army wool blanket for warmth! COLDEST I’VE EVER BEEN!
 
Crazy Carl said:
NTC blows. Was my first duty station as a freshly minted 11C in '88. Hated that place so much, I found a dude at Sill willing to do a stateside swap by early '89.

I grew up in KS, with snow up to my damn eyeballs, but the coldest I've been in my life was in the middle of the Mojave desert & that includes going to the field in Grafenwoehr in December.
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All these wonderful memories of the desert in winter reminds me of all the good times in the ftx area north of Ft Bliss...
[emoji849]

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
 
Oneofsix said:
All these wonderful memories of the desert in winter reminds me of all the good times in the ftx area north of Ft Bliss...
[emoji849]

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
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Like Dona Ana Range Camp, Camp Oregrande, Texas canyon, White Sands Missile Range, McGregor Ranger Camp...…Even learned how to ski for the first time (and use an Ahkio sled) in Cloudcroft Ski area with 5th SFGA in 86'. Then went to Bad Tolz in the German Alps and really learned to ski.


CD
 
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Anyone have that meme of the SOF operator with the porn mustache?
It says something like “nothing is more scary than an enemy who looks like he’s about to shoot 70’s porn”?
 
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