Run out of wiggle room

NCLivingBrit

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First I feel like a huge hypocrite posting here. I realise there's plenty of folks worse off than me and my stance on prayer and religion are well known.

But this is honestly the only place I can think of where I can puke this up in it's entirety and not draw flak and I badly need to get some distance and perspective right now.

I've made stupid choices through my life, especially in the years following my divorce. I've skipped from place to place, relationship to relationship and in doing so have slowly but surely isolated myself from so many people. I've burned through my safety nets, both monetary and otherwise. I've been remiss in keeping up with stuff.

So here I am. I'm currently unemployed (but I just got a new job, albeit potentially not see below), isolated from pretty much everyone I used to see socially, broke as a joke, my driver's licence and residency have expired (because I can't renew the former without the latter) and the Trump INS shakeup has bogged that down for potentially months. I'm broke ($22 in the bank ) and have run out of things people want to buy, but the bills keep coming. If the new work won't accept my currently expired residency as a placeholder for the one I'm waiting on no job. No job means no money and we all know where that goes.

Couple this with some health issues (no insurance for.... years now) and the fact that I'm completely at the mercy of monolithic entities that have absolutely noone they are responsible to and I am damn near at the end of my rope.

If I get the job that, buys me some breathing room and notches the tension down, but I'm terrified (literally, I've never had a panic attack in my life but I've felt like I'm low key drowning/choking/fight or flight for days now) that they'll withdraw the offer with the expired documents. If that happens I don't know what the hell I'll do.

For all those who read this far, I realise a lot of this is self inflicted. I found it hard to foster any sense of permanence or meaning after my divorce and now it's really coming back to bite me in the arse. I guess I just needed to vent, blow off even an iota of pressure. Thanks for listening.
 
I feel for you brother, but you've got to get a grip, man. You can do this. Make sure they know you really want that job and you'll be the best damn employee they ever had. Then do it, give them more than they're paying for. Show up early and stay late. Then after a while get a better job and do the same thing. Look for quality people to work for. I know, easier said than done, but you can do it, you have it in you. You'll be surprised how fast your self-confidence will return. Work on your fitness. It is within your power. Maybe you can't fix everything but you can make it better - you just have to decide to do it. I haven't been quite as deep down as you are, but have been close at one time, and I know what I'm talking about. Worked my way out, faster than I thought. I hope someone on here will have something to offer closer to you. I hope it works out, but know you have a degree of control over it and you can do it.
 
I feel for you brother, but you've got to get a grip, man. You can do this. Make sure they know you really want that job and you'll be the best damn employee they ever had. Then do it, give them more than they're paying for. Show up early and stay late. Then after a while get a better job and do the same thing. Look for quality people to work for. I know, easier said than done, but you can do it, you have it in you. You'll be surprised how fast your self-confidence will return. Work on your fitness. It is within your power. Maybe you can't fix everything but you can make it better - you just have to decide to do it. I haven't been quite as deep down as you are, but have been close at one time, and I know what I'm talking about. Worked my way out, faster than I thought. I hope someone on here will have something to offer closer to you. I hope it works out, but know you have a degree of control over it and you can do it.

It's not the job that worries me, it's that the policy may be to just drop me like a hot potato because of the documentary issue. If that's the case I'm pretty boned.

But thanks. I just need that one thing to go my way and I can fix(ish) this, it's just doing my nut with the not knowing.
 
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What is your most pressing need? Is there something we can do as a family here to let off some of that steam? Cover something?

We have all hit hard times. You haven’t cut off everyone because you ain’t banned yet.


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What is your most pressing need? Is there something we can do as a family here to let off some of that steam? Cover something?

We have all hit hard times. You haven’t cut off everyone because you ain’t banned yet.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

If they won't take my lapsed paperwork on Monday, my pressing need will be employment. If they do, then having vented and gained some clarity and calm should be fine.

And actually this is about the only social outlet I haven't flaked on or gone dark on. The last year or so I turned into a damn hermit.







Although twenty or thirty million post-tax dollars would be nice......................
 
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Though I've not had the documentation issues, I've been pretty far down, too.

I'm still here. You will be, too. Keep working like you've been working on that Mobile Estate and it will eventually come together. As was said above, you probably can't "fix" everything, certainly not in the short run. But you can make it better.
 
Though I've not had the documentation issues, I've been pretty far down, too.

I'm still here. You will be, too. Keep working like you've been working on that Mobile Estate and it will eventually come together. As was said above, you probably can't "fix" everything, certainly not in the short run. But you can make it better.

The house is actually pretty good for now. The stove is taking forever, but it's liveable and the power bill wasn't too bad even though we seem to have migrated to actual Hell as far as temps go. I cleared the crappy shed and burned a mess of rubbish where Beth want's to put some pavers, it's just been sort of eclipsed by other issues like finding work, finding her a new car etc. etc. etc.
 
You can do this. I've managed to hose my life into self created hopelessness and I ground my way through it. You can too. It will suck , but you can do it. We're all stronger than we think we are. Approach things just a slice at a time. Determine what needs to be done first and do it.

Getting out and working (at whatever job you get) and getting some money coming in, will help create further success, and more social contacts and friendships. It just happens.

Keep us posted . Embrace the suck! :)
 
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Step back and take a breath. Stick yer thumb out in front of you and take aim. Do it again and again as long as it takes to overcome this mountain. One step at a time. One moment at a a time.

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@NCLivingBrit , I look forward to hearing good news from you in this thread either late Monday or early Tuesday. Failing that, I look forward to watching our ranks close in support as, where, and when needed. I'm proud of you for reaching out and I hope your spirits are buoyed by the positive responses of your forum mates. We're here, no fear, Team CFF will persevere.
 
@NCLivingBrit , I look forward to hearing good news from you in this thread either late Monday or early Tuesday. Failing that, I look forward to watching our ranks close in support as, where, and when needed. I'm proud of you for reaching out and I hope your spirits are buoyed by the positive responses of your forum mates. We're here, no fear, Team CFF will persevere.

Thanks. It helps a lot to be able to spill your guts without ridicule and judgement to third parties who aren't a part of it. Like I said, a lot of writing this was to help clarify my mind, order my thoughts and let off some steam.

It helps even more than I have folks willing to listen and encourage as well.
 
Sometimes you just have to survive to get to where you can prosper. One minute, one day, one step at a time. However you have to do it, do it. Things get better, hang in there.
 
First I feel like a huge hypocrite posting here. I realise there's plenty of folks worse off than me and my stance on prayer and religion are well known.

And there ain't a soul on here that'll judge you for that.
 
I heard something the other day that I thought was stupid but at the same time it's true. So far you've made it through your worst days. You've beaten the worst day you ever had.

We've all been in hard spots, some worse then others I'm sure but the point being we've all been through something. I can tell you I've been in some pretty dark and low moments in my life that God had to take me to in order to get me to make some changes in myself. I am much better off having gone through those things. I will pray for you and if there is anything else I can do to help then please let me know.
 
Can't say anything hasn't been said my friend, but I'm praying for you. Temporal things and eternal things.

It sounds like you have an elephant to eat, but you do it the same way you do anything else: one bite at a time.
 
I have been deep in the post divorce black hole myself. lost a house, lost a job, spent about 8 years of my life drinking with no direction other than doing everything I could to wreck my life. i ended up with no credit, no money, no friends, and my dog died. i came back. it is hard. I get it. the documentation is something I cant imagine having to deal with on top of everything else. but hey I got no magic solutions or piles of money to give you. but I will say, I read your posts, I listened to you vent, and I cared about what I read. sometimes just venting and knowing your not talking to a wall helps. chin up brother.
 
I have been deep in the post divorce black hole myself. lost a house, lost a job, spent about 8 years of my life drinking with no direction other than doing everything I could to wreck my life. i ended up with no credit, no money, no friends, and my dog died. i came back. it is hard. I get it. the documentation is something I cant imagine having to deal with on top of everything else. but hey I got no magic solutions or piles of money to give you. but I will say, I read your posts, I listened to you vent, and I cared about what I read. sometimes just venting and knowing your not talking to a wall helps. chin up brother.

Fortunately I caught myself before the drinking got too bad, but that was a rough year for sure. I was lucky that my boss at the time made allowances for me. Hell, he let me live in his camper when I walked out the house with no plan and a trash bag of clothes.
 
Saying a little prayer that all works out for you tomorrow.

I am printing out the forms I need for the state training (had to find the printer, it wasn't unpacked yet) and I may be a bit screwed.

Says in bold at the top of the chest sheet all documents have to be unexpired. Until the BCIS decide to send me my new residency authorization card, I can't provide that unexpired.

I can see the employer giving me some leeway, I'm pretty sure NC won't.
 
I spoke to the HR people and they said as long as I can bring evidence to show the case is in progress I can take the training. They rescheduled me for Wednesday.

Hopefully they're right, I'll find out tomorrow!
 
I spoke to the HR people and they said as long as I can bring evidence to show the case is in progress I can take the training. They rescheduled me for Wednesday.

Hopefully they're right, I'll find out tomorrow!

Thanks for the update! Keep us in the loop brother.
 
If you’re willing to relocate 2hrs away, I can offer employment $15-$21/hr 50-60hrs a week

I just bought a house and land here, can you PM me some more info though? Maybe I can commute weekly or something.
 
Well. So despite my frankly and fully addressing my document situation with two different HR people before hand I am told today after wasting 3 days on some of the most asinine, rambling and irrelevant training I've ever endured that my documents ain't no good.

So, no job.

I'm finally calm enough to make this post. Back to looking for work today and goading the INS into sending me my damn I9. And preparing for the worst, expect a bunch more for sale posts!
 
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