The Quotes Page

Stick said:
If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer.

Old carpenter foreman, when I was about 16.
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Dad was a carpenter all his life. I remember this one from him: "That boy's long on drywall and short on studs."

From a guy at work, talking about some mistakes he had made during some remodeling work in his house: "Spackle and paint will make it what it ain't."
 
"Would you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear weapons?"

Vic Deakins, Broken Arrow
 
Heard these today from a contractor:
"Man I don't know what's wrong with him. When that guy walks into a room, he walks in d!ck first"
"You can't out-think a man who isn't thinking"
 
“If I could give advice to the planet, it would be; don't marry for looks alone, going either way, and I'll tell you why. In a few years, if Barbara's boobs start to sag too much, there's a place you can go where they can just lift 'em right back up to where they were. And they can point the nipple wherever they want 'em. You can actually go to a strip club, pick out a set of boobs and say, "I want those boobs on that woman right there." If her belly gets too big and she don't wanna work it off, you can go get a tummy tuck- they'll give you a belly that looks like a cheerleader. You know, if your eyes start to go bad, you can have Lasik surgery and they can give you 20/20 vision at any age. If your hearing starts to fail, they can put a device in your ear that'll make you able to hear as good as you could the day you were born. But let me tell you something, folks...you can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is fo-evah.”

- Ron White

(Slightly edited for Off Topic use)
 
From my construction mentor of years ago:

"That concrete looks like Fido's ass."

"There's your way, the company's way and my way. There are two ways that don't count."

When in my really wet behind the ears days when I would tell somebody to do something. "Do you really want to do that?" I learned to say no and ask how he wanted it done.

"Computers and flies are going to ruin the world."

"One of us is going to climb that hill and build a scaffold and hook it to that tree." I just hung my head..........

Was digging a new outhouse hole up at the farm in Long Bottom, got so far down that the shovel handle was in the way. I shouldn't have complained or asked how much farther I needed to go. He grabbed the shovel, cut half the handle off and said "Bucket of Bolt's, the reason that the hole has to be that deep is you are so full of shit they could give you an enema and bury you in a shoe box."

And finally "I told you to duck."

Rest In Peace Gene Beroth, I miss you brother.................
 
Clint Smith’s quote from his 2001 interview on 60 Minutes ... There are people who need to be shot. Back then he was referring to the need for snipers in hostage situations but I swear he was foreshadowing what we need today
 
REELDOC said:
From my construction mentor of years ago:

"That concrete looks like Fido's ass."

"There's your way, the company's way and my way. There are two ways that don't count."
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LOL! Sure this guy's name wasn't Wallace Woods?

"Boy, there ain't but two ways to do nothing, the right way and the wrong way, and you just done it the wrong way.

Now, fix it."

"There was only one man who never did nothing wrong. So they killed him."
 
From Sir Terry Pratchett:

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called life.

It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.

If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.

The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.

Progress just means bad things happen faster.

A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost.

What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.

And my favorite passage:

“There is always a choice."
"You mean I could choose certain death?"
"A choice nevertheless, or perhaps an alternative. You see I believe in freedom. Not many people do, although they will of course protest otherwise. And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.”
 
“It's not the will to win that matters-everyone has that. It's the will to prepare to win that matters.” —Paul "Bear" Bryant.
 
Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic.
Jean Sibelius
 
Max Stirner (Johann Kaspar Schmidt) was an effed up individual in many of his beliefs, but I like this quote from him:

"The State calls its own violence, law; but that of the individual, crime."


He's an interesting read on Wikipedia:

en.wikipedia.org

Max Stirner - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org
 
And a couple from Admiral Rickover:

"It is necessary for us to learn from others' mistakes. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself."

"I have the charisma of the chipmunk. I never have thought I was smart. I thought the people I dealt with were dumb."
 
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