Screw store bought! You need to make a batch of this:
World's Greatest Eggnog
Makes 16 to 20 cups (may be cut in half if you know how to divide 1/4 by 2)
4 cups bourbon
2 1/4 cups sugar
12 egg yolks, beaten
8 cups whipping cream
Blend bourbon and sugar in mixing bowl. Let sit overnight, if you can wait. Beat egg yolks until they approach viscous yellow bliss. Add to bourbon mixture. Mix well. Cover and let sit in refrigerator overnight, if you can wait, or at least 2 hours. Whip cream and add to bourbon mixture. Nog starts off very creamy and becomes soupy the longer it survives.
And the story behind it:
Beware: Best eggnog has side effects
ROB KASPER Los Angeles Times Syndicate
THERE are two kinds of eggnog in the world: mine and sorry imitations of mine.
Mine is velvety, creamy and redolent of bourbon. It induces a dreamlike state a poet once referred to as "a long winter's nap."
Soupy imitation eggnogs contain fruit juice, rum or (gag me with a scoop) eggnog ice cream. They are for "people on the go."
Mine is made for people going nowhere. My eggnog is for people who want to remain pleasantly immobile, who want to spend time talking with people they care about. It is a drink for holiday gatherings where the slow ebb and flow of life, rather than a quicksilver business deal, is what people want to talk about.
If this steady-as-she-goes pace bothers you, then my eggnog is not for you.
Nor it is for folks who are phobic about calories, cholesterol or alcohol. My eggnog has all that stuff - in spades.
My eggnog is an old-fashioned, indulgent drink that relies on the old-time remedy of common sense to prevent any abuses.
Which is not to say that there aren't risks involved in drinking my eggnog. There are. Drinking it can lead to singing and to babies. Here are two true-to-life stories.
Story No. 1: Every December, emboldened by a cup of this eggnog, I accompany a recording of Luciano Pavarotti singing "O Holy Night." This duet has frightened pets, silenced small children and embarrassed relatives. But every year, full of eggnog and holiday cheer, I gleefully lift my cup and lift my voice with Luciano.
Story No. 2: In December 1981, I introduced a couple - young, professional and childless - to this eggnog. One year later the eggnog and a bouncing baby boy were permanent parts of this couple's holiday celebration. But now that the couple has two young children, their intake of eggnog, if not their enthusiasm for it, has moderated.
I am frequently asked questions about my eggnog. Questions like, "Is it a lot of work to make?"
The answer is, "Yes." The first step of the eggnog-making procedure, mixing the sugar and the bourbon, begins the night before the completed elixir is served. But the overnight rule is flexible. A few hours of serious stirring can substitute for an overnight soaking.
Another often-asked question is, "Is it permissible to lick stray eggnog off lips?" The answer again is, "Yes." Licking of lips, both yours and others, is permitted, but that, too, can lead to children.
Still another question I get is, "How many calories are in this eggnog?" The short answer is: beyond calculation. I lost my nerve when the total of half the ingredients in the recipe topped 6,000. But the calorie total should be divided by 20 if you serve the eggnog in big cups or by 30 if you serve it in petite portions.
The next question usually is, "Is this eggnog worth the trouble and calories?" You bet your little bowl full of jelly it is.
Drinking this eggnog ranks right up there in holiday pleasures with peeling tangerines and watching kids open presents on Christmas morning.
