Could use some prayers for my dad

Discussion in 'The Chapel' started by RFMan, Jun 19, 2019.

  1. RFMan

    RFMan Member Benefactor Life Member

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    Y'all may remember this thread https://www.carolinafirearmsforum.com/index.php?threads/my-wifes-mother-just-passed.42058/ from a couple of months ago...as if that weren't enough...

    My dad is 82. He has colon cancer: diagnosed 5 years ago, 1 ft of large intestine removed and joined. He is a cardiac rehab fanatic (has congestive heart failure, afib, bad arthritis and gout), which helped him through that. Didn't take chemo or radiation because it wasn't going to help his odds much, and he would not have been able to continue the beneficial exercising. I've been going down 3 long weekends/month the past 1.5 years to help with his care (he's in Saluda SC; I live in Cary NC).

    The past 4-5 months I've been wresting with his oncologist. I've noticed cancer markers up and unfavorable CT scans. Oncologist was not terribly blunt with me, and it took some time to decode some of their terminology. He cancer has metastasized to his lungs and liver (most common sites for colorectal cancer to go). They can't treat it (he says it will just make things worse, and I don't really doubt that, but it's also crap to hear). But they weren't really following things closely (he has both Medicare AND BCBS, so plenty of insurance). His last hepatic panel was getting worse, and he had pretty bad jaundice; I said, shouldn't we be doing something to reduce stress on his liver??? They finally ordered a liver ultrasound. The next morning, he fell, and had to go to the ER. After about 7-8 hours there, they admitted him, and everyone was giving us hell about not getting the jaundice treated. I said, well, you might ask his oncologist, because we HAVE been trying to get some for over a month, and he was just here yesterday morning, DOWN THE HALL, for a liver ultrasound! Why did y'all even let him leave??? WTF???

    He was in the hospital a week. Hypotension (he has historically had hypertension - this is why he fell). Bile duct was blocked, probably a tumor. They inserted a stent, and bilirubin numbers are falling from the peak of 19 (normal ~1). He's been home since the 8th, but is mostly bedridden. Incontinence is a real problem. His attitude is spectacular. Every time he had a different nurse or doctor, he would say, "With y'all's and the Lord's help, we're going to make it! Got to fight it! I'm not giving up!" One doc was really pushing DNR, while two nurses were changing him...ticked me off, talking about him like he was a side of meat there. I told him how we had a great handle on his cardio and pulmonary health, and had been tracking and adjusting things the past 10 years. He went and looked some things up in the computer there, and then he shut up and left. He might have picked up on some body language from me also :)

    Anyway, I humbly ask for prayers for him, that he be able to get around a little better in the time he has left (however long that is), and that we his caregivers are able to sustain the efforts we make to help him stay at home with dignity and enjoyment of his family and friends. Hope this wasn't too wordy - typing it is part of my therapy :)
     
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  2. Schattenreiter

    Schattenreiter Member

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    Happy to help. Prayers for you and yours.
     
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  3. Sandman_NC

    Sandman_NC Child Of Christ Charter Member Supporting Member

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    Praying for you all.
     
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  4. fsj80

    fsj80 Member

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    Prayers offered
     
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  5. 12151791

    12151791 [This Space is Available for Rent] Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    Father in heaven, grant @RFMan dad comfort in his suffering.
     
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  6. Millie

    Millie It is what it is. Supporting Member

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    I do pray for him. And for you, as his care-giver. It's hard to watch your parent fade. It's hard to take care of the person who took care of you. I pray for good quality of life for him, regardless of the quantity that may be left.
     
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  7. ronn47

    ronn47 Where's the Scotch? Charter Member Benefactor Life Member

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    Prayers for your father and the rest of your family.
     
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  8. Button Pusher

    Button Pusher Well-Known Member Benefactor

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    Glad to help.
     
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  9. RFMan

    RFMan Member Benefactor Life Member

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    I appreciate it, everyone. If not for my brother-in-law, I don't know what we would do. (I knew him before my sister did :D ) He shares caretaking. My sister does also, but her job won't let her work remotely. Since all this happened, I've had to have his hired caretaker (who is also kin to us) in 5-6 days a week, for long shifts. My dad works with us as best he can. I just pray we can sustain this as long as we need to.
     
  10. Amps 13

    Amps 13 Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    Prayers for your father. Seems like he has a great attitude even in not great of times. Prayers for you also, very hard to be the caregiver and even harder when it’s a loved one. Don’t forget to take care of yourself.
     
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  11. InvisibleOne

    InvisibleOne a.k.a. LoboLoco Life Member

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    Prayers for the whole family.
     
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  12. SDIVER2006

    SDIVER2006 SDIVER2006

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    Done my friend
     
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  13. JohnFreeman

    JohnFreeman The bane of my existence Benefactor Charter Life Member Supporting Member

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    As someone who was treated for cancer much of last year and who now has a major distrust of the medical process, I will keep your dad, you and all who love him in my daily prayers.
     
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  14. Tobrooks

    Tobrooks Happy to be here

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    He’s in my thoughts!
     
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  15. confused

    confused Happy to be here Supporting Member

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    Enjoy every moment.Laugh with him and don't be afraid to cry.The Good Lord will help you through this.
     
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  16. JT

    JT 灰色的男人 Benefactor Life Member Supporting Member

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    @RFMan you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
     
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  17. fieldgrade

    fieldgrade Well seasoned member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    A prayer is up @RFMan, for you and your dad.
     
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  18. Windini

    Windini Plank Charter Life Member

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    Goin up. He sounds like a great guy!
     
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  19. foopid stucker

    foopid stucker Active Member

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    peace and prayers....
     
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  20. BASIL

    BASIL Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    I will keep your dad and your family in prayer.
    And take care of you.
     
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  21. Coltdefender1911

    Coltdefender1911 On the couch Charter Member Supporting Member

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    Knee mail out. May the Lords will be done.
     
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  22. ES44AC

    ES44AC Happy to be here

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    Prayers sent.
     
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  23. Midliferally

    Midliferally Member & Benefactor Charter Member Benefactor Life Member

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    Prayers for you and your family.
     
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  24. RFMan

    RFMan Member Benefactor Life Member

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    Thank you all. I think we may be settling down into a routine of sorts.
     
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  25. Firemedic54

    Firemedic54 Member Charter Member Supporting Member

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    You and your family will be added to our list, praying for intervention.
     
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  26. Inglis

    Inglis Member

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    Incoming prayers.
     
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  27. RFMan

    RFMan Member Benefactor Life Member

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    Well, he IS doing better! Sitting up more, feeding himself some, doing his therapy OK. Incontinence is his biggest issue (and it's a big one). We've had him in the den in his transfer chair a couple of times.

    The power went out around 3:45 AM, and just came back on. He is on a priority with MCEC because he uses oxygen part of the time, but a really big tree made this outage take 6 hours to restore. Thank goodness we have tanks. It hit several folks in the I-20/I-26/Saluda triangle.
     
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  28. Sandman_NC

    Sandman_NC Child Of Christ Charter Member Supporting Member

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    Glad to hear he has perked up some. Prayers still on the way for you all.
     
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  29. kcult

    kcult Change my mind. Charter Member Supporting Member

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    I'm happy to hear he's improving @RFMan

    I hope he remains very comfortable and happy. You guys, too!
     
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  30. xtp308

    xtp308 Bought and Paid For...

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    Prayers sent right now for your dad and your family !
     
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  31. Rskahle

    Rskahle Founding Inglorious bastard Charter Member Benefactor Supporting Member

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    Praying for yall
     
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  32. S4f

    S4f I survived v- bulletin Charter Member Supporting Member

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    Prayers sent
     
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  33. bkv

    bkv Active Member

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    Prayers for y'all.
     
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  34. RFMan

    RFMan Member Benefactor Life Member

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    Haven't posted much about this lately - very little spare time. Things may be winding down. It's pretty rough. It's hard to see such a faith-driven, tough, determined, spirit come so close to breaking, due to physical issues. I appreciate all the prayers.
     
  35. ronn47

    ronn47 Where's the Scotch? Charter Member Benefactor Life Member

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    They are still coming.
     
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