How do you deal with Liberal Family Members?

Alabamacoastie

Alabamacoastie

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This evening I sat down to dinner with my wife, two very young daughters, my wife's brother, and my wife's mother... We all have dinner together often (several times a week). Every time, I do the grocery shopping, I set the table, I do the cooking, and I get stuck doing the dishes. I'm the only conservative, but my wife is coming around to my side (after 10 years of marriage). My M-I-L and B-I-L are VERY liberal. I guess it shows in the fact that they never bring food, or offer to buy groceries, or offer to wash dishes... They are happy to take, take, take, and never offer to give anything back.

Anyway, as we were sitting down to eat, I said, ""Did you guys see the headline on CNN today? There was a sheriff's deputy at that school but he chose to hide outside instead of going in to take out the bad guy. CNN had another headline that said something like, "A good guy with a gun doesn't always stop a bad guy with a gun" which I found upsetting because they were taking one instance with a coward and trying to say that all good guys with guns are worthless."

My brother in law, a 45 year old with no job who lives with his mother, said... "It's easy to think that you would go save those kids, but in the heat of the moment you don't know what you would really do. I would have stayed outside too."

I said, "Well, that's obvious because you are not the kind of person who would take a position in LE. And, after two tours in Iraq, I know exactly which way I run when gun fire starts, that's toward the fight, not away from it."

I was actually surprised when my wife jumped in and took my side. I was so happy that she did that.

That was enough to make me change the conversation to something less political. That's all. I just wanted to complain about my liberal family members AND brag about my wife.

What would you have said to my loser B-I-L?
 
Tailhunter said:
“Are you freaking kidding me? I’d kill the sucker and lay claim to his gun”.

“Oh by the way, how’s that basement treating you? “
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Man, I'd love to kill a bad guy and take his gun... I think about the old war bring backs often. My grandfather fought in Korea and Vietnam in the US Army. As far as I know he didn't bring back any enemy weapons. When he died, I got his gun collection. I did get an empty M72 LAW rocket launcher tube in the collection. I know he shot the rocket out of it, but I'm pretty sure he just shot it in training while he was a survival instructor in Fort Rucker Alabama, near the end of the Vietnam war.

One of my cousin's Grandfathers was in the Army during WW2. He fought in the South Pacific and brought back a bolt action 7mm something or other... I don't know if he took it off a confirmed kill or just picked it up off the ground... But, either way, it's mine now. When he died he left it to his grandson. His grandson asked me if I wanted it and I said, "Hell yeah!"

Every time I touch that rifle in my safe I think about how awesome it would have been to bring home an AK off of one of the bad guys I saw in Iraq... But, nowadays, I guess bring backs are nearly impossible unless you are an officer.
 
I had to bite my tongue so hard not to yell at my GMIL to STFU when she was yelling at my TV because a Trump commercial came on, calling him a liar blah blah blah, but she was perfectly calm when Killary was on just minutes before.
 
Jerzsubbie said:
I had to bite my tongue so hard not to yell at my GMIL to STFU when she was yelling at my TV because a Trump commercial came on, calling him a liar blah blah blah, but she was perfectly calm when Killary was on just minutes before.
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Isn't it crazy how we choose sides in politics, as individuals... They'll never understand how we feel and we'll never understand how they feel... Why do our brains work this way, keeping us so separate, but unwilling to change and see eye to eye?
 
Alabamacoastie said:
My brother in law, a 45 year old with no job who lives with his mother, said... "It's easy to think that you would go save those kids, but in the heat of the moment you don't know what you would really do. I would have stayed outside too."

I said, "Well, that's obvious because you are not the kind of person who would take a position in LE. And, after two tours in Iraq, I know exactly which way I run when gun fire starts, that's toward the fight, not away from it."
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There was a coach in the school who was herding kids to safety and he was murdered. Had he been carrying a firearm, he would have had a better option than using his body as a shield.
 
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Honestly I just don’t give a crap. I’m to old to worry about what others think and have actually managed to reach the point where I don’t go out of my way to ... and everyone knows it. Aside from 3 cousins and 1 aunt we manage to coexist for functions.
 
Alabamacoastie said:
This evening I sat down to dinner with my wife, two very young daughters, my wife's brother, and my wife's mother... We all have dinner together often (several times a week). Every time, I do the grocery shopping, I set the table, I do the cooking, and I get stuck doing the dishes. I'm the only conservative, but my wife is coming around to my side (after 10 years of marriage). My M-I-L and B-I-L are VERY liberal. I guess it shows in the fact that they never bring food, or offer to buy groceries, or offer to wash dishes... They are happy to take, take, take, and never offer to give anything back.

Anyway, as we were sitting down to eat, I said, ""Did you guys see the headline on CNN today? There was a sheriff's deputy at that school but he chose to hide outside instead of going in to take out the bad guy. CNN had another headline that said something like, "A good guy with a gun doesn't always stop a bad guy with a gun" which I found upsetting because they were taking one instance with a coward and trying to say that all good guys with guns are worthless."

My brother in law, a 45 year old with no job who lives with his mother, said... "It's easy to think that you would go save those kids, but in the heat of the moment you don't know what you would really do. I would have stayed outside too."

I said, "Well, that's obvious because you are not the kind of person who would take a position in LE. And, after two tours in Iraq, I know exactly which way I run when gun fire starts, that's toward the fight, not away from it."

I was actually surprised when my wife jumped in and took my side. I was so happy that she did that.

That was enough to make me change the conversation to something less political. That's all. I just wanted to complain about my liberal family members AND brag about my wife.

What would you have said to my loser B-I-L?
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This isn't necessarily directed at you, but at anyone in your chair. But you are the OP so you get to take the crap. How the heck, by all that is Holy, just and true, did you marry a liberal woman? Or as I would call them either a Marxist or ignorant woman. The question isn't how do you deal with your in-laws, it is why did you put yourself in this situation? Did you not discuss or know how she felt on these key issues? I got nothign for you at this point. The die is cast and you are left to live it.

Now to answer your orignal question. Have a heart to heart with your wife, and tell her exactly how you feel about her family. And that you are simply not going to spend time or waste time with them anymore. You married her, not them. I had a similar conversation with my wife about her sister years ago, and she leaves me out of almost all of her family deals. Although there is another battle looming...
 
My big sister is very liberal, lived in Oregon for years. We both know each other's political viewpoint.
At every gathering or phone call I tell myself ahead of time - "No politics!"
I carefully avoid bringing up any contentious subject.
But, she can never get through a conversation without it.
Once she opens the door, it's ON!
I am still respectful. But, I have no problem defending my position with names, dates, and facts.
Then I challenge her to defend her views the same way. (I know that really isn't fair.)
What really pisses her off, is when I tell her I still love her, in spite of her views.
 
CZfool68 said:
This isn't necessarily directed at you, but at anyone in your chair. But you are the OP so you get to take the crap. How the heck, by all that is Holy, just and true, did you marry a liberal woman? Or as I would call them either a Marxist or ignorant woman. The question isn't how do you deal with your in-laws, it is why did you put yourself in this situation? Did you not discuss or know how she felt on these key issues? I got nothign for you at this point. The die is cast and you are left to live it.

Now to answer your orignal question. Have a heart to heart with your wife, and tell her exactly how you feel about her family. And that you are simply not going to spend time or waste time with them anymore. You married her, not them. I had a similar conversation with my wife about her sister years ago, and she leaves me out of almost all of her family deals. Although there is another battle looming...
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Hahaha. No offense taken... But, my life is great and I am very happy I married my wife (even 10 years later). To answer one of your questions, did I discuss how I felt on key issues?, NO I didn't... When we met, I was a 24 year old redneck from Alabama living in San Diego. She was a beautiful, young, california girl in Newport Beach. We went on one date and the next day I left for my second tour to Iraq. On my last day in Iraq, while taking a helo to an air field to fly home, the bird almost got shot down by an RPG. No injuries. Everybody was fine. I got 3 days of R+R in Bahrain, and then I flew home to San Diego. She picked me up at the airport and she was my "girlfriend". Six months later we got married and we have been happily married for the last 10 years. At that time, as a 25 year old dude I didn't even know exactly how I felt about politics and gun issues.

I didn't marry a liberal woman. I married her... And I got lucky because she now owns her own guns and loves to shoot with me in the back yard of our home in NC. I taught her about firearm safety and etiquette. I taught her how to shoot. And I got her onto OUR side... She even agreed with me when I called out her brother today.

That is definitely a WIN for everyone who loves guns in America. We need to spend more time trying to bring the gun haters to our side and less time ignoring/hating them. But it's OK to talk shit about them behind their backs, a little. Hahahaha.
 
InvisibleOne said:
My big sister is very liberal, lived in Oregon for years. We both know each other's political viewpoint.
At every gathering or phone call I tell myself ahead of time - "No politics!"
I carefully avoid bringing up any contentious subject.
But, she can never get through a conversation without it.
Once she opens the door, it's ON!
I am still respectful. But, I have no problem defending my position with names, dates, and facts.
Then I challenge her to defend her views the same way. (I know that really isn't fair.)
What really pisses her off, is when I tell her I still love her, in spite of her views.
Click to expand...

Hahaha, that's good!
 
I try to never engage anyone politically. I used to, but I've decided that I just don't care any more. I think the final straw was last year when the "news" spent days mis-characterizing a call that the President made to the widow of a man he had sent into combat. They used the President's recognition of this good man's ultimate sacrifice to advance the narrative that Trump is an uncouth idiot.

And anyone who believes like I do has been stigmatized, so that it would cause problems at work and at extended family gatherings. So I usually don't say a word. Facebook is for vacation and baby pictures. If you start posting politics, left or right, you're gone. If I thought this republic could be fixed, I'd work for it, but I think collapse is inevitable. Maybe I should join the other side and help speed it along while I can still see the front sights.
 
MostWanted said:
I try to never engage anyone politically. I used to, but I've decided that I just don't care any more. I think the final straw was last year when the "news" spent days mis-characterizing a call that the President made to the widow of a man he had sent into combat. They used the President's recognition of this good man's ultimate sacrifice to advance the narrative that Trump is an uncouth idiot.

And anyone who believes like I do has been stigmatized, so that it would cause problems at work and at extended family gatherings. So I usually don't say a word. Facebook is for vacation and baby pictures. If you start posting politics, left or right, you're gone. If I thought this republic could be fixed, I'd work for it, but I think collapse is inevitable. Maybe I should join the other side and help speed it along while I can still see the front sights.
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I agree that collapse may be inevitable... No government has lasted very long. Eventually the people at the top have to fall to make way for new people to take their place... That is the way of cultures, employees, governments, even generations of lineage... But, I'm not in any hurry to speed it's collapse. My life is good and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible.
 
"What would you have said to my loser B-I-L?"

the same thing i said to my loser BIL....nothing.
it's not worth my time to engage or respond.
however, in my family, everyone KNOWS
he's a loser and just bides their time until
the family function is over.
 
Alabamacoastie said:
Hahaha. No offense taken... But, my life is great and I am very happy I married my wife (even 10 years later). To answer one of your questions, did I discuss how I felt on key issues?, NO I didn't... When we met, I was a 24 year old redneck from Alabama living in San Diego. She was a beautiful, young, california girl in Newport Beach. We went on one date and the next day I left for my second tour to Iraq. On my last day in Iraq, while taking a helo to an air field to fly home, the bird almost got shot down by an RPG. No injuries. Everybody was fine. I got 3 days of R+R in Bahrain, and then I flew home to San Diego. She picked me up at the airport and she was my "girlfriend". Six months later we got married and we have been happily married for the last 10 years. At that time, as a 25 year old dude I didn't even know exactly how I felt about politics and gun issues.

I didn't marry a liberal woman. I married her... And I got lucky because she now owns her own guns and loves to shoot with me in the back yard of our home in NC. I taught her about firearm safety and etiquette. I taught her how to shoot. And I got her onto OUR side... She even agreed with me when I called out her brother today.

That is definitely a WIN for everyone who loves guns in America. We need to spend more time trying to bring the gun haters to our side and less time ignoring/hating them. But it's OK to talk shit about them behind their backs, a little. Hahahaha.
Click to expand...

It is like a conversion from an old Seinfeld episode. The Holy Grail! Congratulations.
 
With one more left leaning brother I started taking to the gun range and watched his perspective, at least as far as gun rights, change.

With the rest, I allow my happy and productive life to be all of the argument that I need.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Alabamacoastie said:
Hahaha. No offense taken... But, my life is great and I am very happy I married my wife (even 10 years later). To answer one of your questions, did I discuss how I felt on key issues?, NO I didn't... When we met, I was a 24 year old redneck from Alabama living in San Diego. She was a beautiful, young, california girl in Newport Beach. We went on one date and the next day I left for my second tour to Iraq. On my last day in Iraq, while taking a helo to an air field to fly home, the bird almost got shot down by an RPG. No injuries. Everybody was fine. I got 3 days of R+R in Bahrain, and then I flew home to San Diego. She picked me up at the airport and she was my "girlfriend". Six months later we got married and we have been happily married for the last 10 years. At that time, as a 25 year old dude I didn't even know exactly how I felt about politics and gun issues.

I didn't marry a liberal woman. I married her... And I got lucky because she now owns her own guns and loves to shoot with me in the back yard of our home in NC. I taught her about firearm safety and etiquette. I taught her how to shoot. And I got her onto OUR side... She even agreed with me when I called out her brother today.

That is definitely a WIN for everyone who loves guns in America. We need to spend more time trying to bring the gun haters to our side and less time ignoring/hating them. But it's OK to talk shit about them behind their backs, a little. Hahahaha.
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Good for you 'bamacoastie. I'm glad you found each other. ;)
 
I always ignored my BIL. He was (is) an attention whore and I never wanted to give him the satisfaction of thinking that I cared anything about his opinion. Thank goodness my SIL left him a year ago!
 
rdinatal said:
It maybe too early in the morning for my brain to work. Please tell me how this is?
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SIL is my wife's sister. BIL was the guy she was married to. I guess that made him my BIL didn't it?
 
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Railsplitter said:
SIL is my wife's sister. BIL was the guy she was married to. I guess that made him my BIL didn't it?
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Probably, I could never figure it out. Just sitting here it struck me funny.

My FIL is here for four days. He's 88, is opinionated as all getout, is liberal but complains about everything.

The topic started on the recent school shooting and guns. In the end I told him they are locked up so when he snaps he can't get to them. I thought my wife was going to have a coronary.
 
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As I get older I find that I've become more opinionated and outspoken. As to your BIL, I'd look him in the eye and tell him to get the fk out of my house and don't come back. As to the MIL, please see your son out and stay with him. If the wife had a problem I'm sure there's room for 3. Which by default leaves just me..... yep, just little ole me....

I have stopped having anything to do with LJ's siblings. I find them to be boring, stupid and ignorant. Why would I want to hang out with people like that?? No reason I can think of.... Their all liberals to the core and nothings going to change that, so, I see no reason to beat my head against a brick wall trying.

I'm very happy with my life choices to this point and I feel certain I will into the future.....
 
So I have one full-on progressive liberal sister, one somewhat conservative sister and a Libertarian brother. Unsurprisingly, the lib side of the clan all work(ed) off the taxpayers dime, cause Gov't money tastes good. Poor things don't even realize they are gave up thinking for themselves years ago.

I used to try to use reason, but clearly that doesn't work with highly programmed liberal drones, so I simply ignore any political conversation with them. Instead, whenever something triggers them to spew their drivel, I just visualize the pain and suffering they must have felt in Nov 2016 and make them wonder why I am quiet and smiling.

Its kinda cute when they gnash their teeth each time they say Trump and Russia in a sentence- I wonder when they will learn some new words.
 
B00ger said:
With one more left leaning brother I started taking to the gun range and watched his perspective, at least as far as gun rights, change.

With the rest, I allow my happy and productive life to be all of the argument that I need.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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We actually talk about guns at band practice a lot. He wants me to carry an 1847 Walker to our gigs!
 
My oldest daughter was influenced by my first wife’s family and all were government employees. My other two daughters and sons are young adults with Glocks and concealed carry. The oldest daughter will not allow her husband to have any kind of gun in the home. This has been discussed at holiday functions.

I told him and in front of her “get your balls back buddy and be a f’ing man. You can have anything you want and if not your not a man, but her puppet.” She said not one word. She also lives in a world of fear due to her job in social services and is continually threatened with bodily harm, car headlights busted out, car keyed, and people seeking her out in anger. But yet she lives in fear with no weapon for defense. Strange. My son in law grew up hunting, had guns, and lived in a very rural area. He still has guns but momma and daddy hold them for him at their home. Jeez.
 
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