After seeing the long line of my friends from here stepping forward and apologizing, I felt it was only appropriate that I, B00ger, come clean as well...so...here we go...
When I was 5 I asked my dad for money to buy my mom a birthday present, I bought a pack of grape gum...and gave her a piece.
When I was 8 I was convinced that there was a huge frog in the ocean that would sneak up and grab kids who didn't stay near their parents because I kept hearing about "the under toad" on the news.
When I was 9 I borrowed a lucky rabbits foot from a friend at school knowing we were moving to another town and I wouldn't ever see him again to return it.
When I was 10 and playing guns and army in the woods near our house with my friends I only pretended to shoot the imaginary bad guys as I secretly supported their cause so I intentionally missed.
When I was 16 and got my license I thought I was so cool I would randomly drive back to my high school to see if any of my friends "happened to need a ride home." It was a Chevrolet Corsica, it was never cool.
When I turned 21 I stopped at almost every gas station between Winston-Salem and Chapel Hill buying beer in the hopes that someone would finally card me. I ran out of money by Mebane but had beer for weeks.
At my first job out of college I sold lawn care for True Green Chem Lawn and hated it so much I wouldn't even get out of my car when doing appraisals. I would just guess and throw the materials on the people's porches. When I would make my unsolicited calls to the people during their dinners I would take a smoke break, a water break, and a bathroom break between every 3 phone calls just so I wouldn't have to bother people.
I asked a woman to marry me while I was drunk once, she said yes, we didn't end up getting married...but yeah...
I hide food from my kids because I deserve the last cupcake.
I have actively helped my kids look for candy that I have eaten.
I once secretly left work for a job interview and when I got back to the office someone asked if I had been to a funeral, I just acted sad and said yes and let the lie live.
I am sure there is more...but...the emotion I am feeling is so raw right now from this outpouring that I can't go on.
I'm sorry.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
When I was 5 I asked my dad for money to buy my mom a birthday present, I bought a pack of grape gum...and gave her a piece.
When I was 8 I was convinced that there was a huge frog in the ocean that would sneak up and grab kids who didn't stay near their parents because I kept hearing about "the under toad" on the news.
When I was 9 I borrowed a lucky rabbits foot from a friend at school knowing we were moving to another town and I wouldn't ever see him again to return it.
When I was 10 and playing guns and army in the woods near our house with my friends I only pretended to shoot the imaginary bad guys as I secretly supported their cause so I intentionally missed.
When I was 16 and got my license I thought I was so cool I would randomly drive back to my high school to see if any of my friends "happened to need a ride home." It was a Chevrolet Corsica, it was never cool.
When I turned 21 I stopped at almost every gas station between Winston-Salem and Chapel Hill buying beer in the hopes that someone would finally card me. I ran out of money by Mebane but had beer for weeks.
At my first job out of college I sold lawn care for True Green Chem Lawn and hated it so much I wouldn't even get out of my car when doing appraisals. I would just guess and throw the materials on the people's porches. When I would make my unsolicited calls to the people during their dinners I would take a smoke break, a water break, and a bathroom break between every 3 phone calls just so I wouldn't have to bother people.
I asked a woman to marry me while I was drunk once, she said yes, we didn't end up getting married...but yeah...
I hide food from my kids because I deserve the last cupcake.
I have actively helped my kids look for candy that I have eaten.
I once secretly left work for a job interview and when I got back to the office someone asked if I had been to a funeral, I just acted sad and said yes and let the lie live.
I am sure there is more...but...the emotion I am feeling is so raw right now from this outpouring that I can't go on.
I'm sorry.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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