I know I'm new on the site, and a lot, mostly all of you don't really know me yet. I'm going to cut to the chase on this one because it's a really long story and I don't want to divulge too much information. So, I have PTSD (among many other health issues) from my deployments to Africa and Kuwait. The VA treated it with many antipsychotics for a loooong time. I am now off of those types of medicines, however they left me with a permanent movement disorder. Gross motor movement i.e. walking, running, and major physical activity, sets it off and makes my body go nuts. Sometimes I look like I'm having a siezure, others I look like I have Parkinson's. I have the opposite of Parkinson's called Tardive Dyskinesia. When I'm having an "episode" my speech is severely messed up, and it mostly effects the right side of my body. I have to use a power wheelchair to get around because I can't walk more than a few feet before it kicks in. There have been many a time where I have wished I could just be taken away instead of having to deal with this the rest of my life. But I have an amazing wife, an outstanding service dog, and the power to suppress those thoughts most of the time. I'm from NJ and therefore grew up Catholic. It's hard being Catholic NC as there aren't a lot of Catholic churches around lol. I mostly rely on other to help me through my days. As you may have seen I'm on here a lot because I'm home by myself and have nothing else to do.
Anyway, by the grace of God, he let me come home from my 2 deployments alive. It just sucks that every time I close my eyes I see over there. I feel like I owe some sort of penance or something because my mind is always racing, always thinking about over there even though it's been 10 years since Africa and 8 since kuwait. I don't know, just trying to live my life the best I can in this messed up world we live in.
Anyway, by the grace of God, he let me come home from my 2 deployments alive. It just sucks that every time I close my eyes I see over there. I feel like I owe some sort of penance or something because my mind is always racing, always thinking about over there even though it's been 10 years since Africa and 8 since kuwait. I don't know, just trying to live my life the best I can in this messed up world we live in.
