Military Memes

325rto said:
Hahaha. I still eat fast. My daughters nibble on their food.
Breakfast time. Hot sauce or Tabasco goes on everything. All items then get mixed up into one big pile. I laugh at the look on their face when they see the pile of food.
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Actually, things can taste pretty good piled up like that! I mean, hashbrowns, ham, tomatoes, and gravy does, right?

My wife makes faces and comments whenever I do things like spoon corn on top of my mashed potatoes and gravy. What can I say? It tastes good!
 
RetiredUSNChief said:
Actually, things can taste pretty good piled up like that! I mean, hashbrowns, ham, tomatoes, and gravy does, right?

My wife makes faces and comments whenever I do things like spoon corn on top of my mashed potatoes and gravy. What can I say? It tastes good!
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Hahaha. There's a reason why we don't fit into the civilian world.
 
325rto said:
Hahaha. I still eat fast.
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I was never in the military (one of my few regrets as I prepare to turn 50), but apparently, I eat too fast.

Fast enough that my wife has reached over and grabbed my fork hand, held it to the table and said, "Slow down...."
 
895F2394-D22F-4812-B3E7-350C1E5A2EC3.jpegKFC be like, “I hear ya, man.”

RetiredUSNChief said:
Actually, things can taste pretty good piled up like that! I mean, hashbrowns, ham, tomatoes, and gravy does, right?

My wife makes faces and comments whenever I do things like spoon corn on top of my mashed potatoes and gravy. What can I say? It tastes good!
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kcult said:
I was never in the military (one of my few regrets as I prepare to turn 50), but apparently, I eat too fast.

Fast enough that my wife has reached over and grabbed my fork hand, held it to the table and said, "Slow down...."
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Must be related to my wife...
 
What I miss is breakfast...omelet (All The Way), potato barrels (commonly known as tater tots, except in the Army at breakfast) and then completely covered with two ladles of creamed beef (also known as hamburger gravy, not real creamed beef) and two slices of bread to sop up the residue with.

You can train folks to eat fast and it stays with them. When I was on the trail, I only allowed the privates to eat with a large spoon...would not allow any forks, knifes, or small spoons...you could not look up from your plate of chow, stay focused on the objective...if you looked up or stopped chewing, you were done and got run out of mess hall to lay in the dying cockroach until the rest of the company finished. The large Army issued metal spoon is arguably the most versatile utensil in the Army inventory...you can eat with it, efficiently and effectively consuming mass quantities of good Army chow in a very short period of time or it can be used to gouge the eyes of your enemy out, and with sufficient application of force, you can carve into the chest cavity...it is also really good to eat ice cream with.

Anyways, I do miss breakfast like that...when we go to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, I order Grandpas Favorite, mix it all up and cover it in that nasty "sawmill" gravy they serve, then cover in pepper and splashes of hot sauce...my wife doesn't even blink at such anymore, but my grandkids whisper about my sanity behind my back.
 
Long_Hunter said:
What I miss is breakfast...omelet (All The Way), potato barrels (commonly known as tater tots, except in the Army at breakfast) and then completely covered with two ladles of creamed beef (also known as hamburger gravy, not real creamed beef) and two slices of bread to sop up the residue with.

You can train folks to eat fast and it stays with them. When I was on the trail, I only allowed the privates to eat with a large spoon...would not allow any forks, knifes, or small spoons...you could not look up from your plate of chow, stay focused on the objective...if you looked up or stopped chewing, you were done and got run out of mess hall to lay in the dying cockroach until the rest of the company finished. The large Army issued metal spoon is arguably the most versatile utensil in the Army inventory...you can eat with it, efficiently and effectively consuming mass quantities of good Army chow in a very short period of time or it can be used to gouge the eyes of your enemy out, and with sufficient application of force, you can carve into the chest cavity...it is also really good to eat ice cream with.

Anyways, I do miss breakfast like that...when we go to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, I order Grandpas Favorite, mix it all up and cover it in that nasty "sawmill" gravy they serve, then cover in pepper and splashes of hot sauce...my wife doesn't even blink at such anymore, but my grandkids whisper about my sanity behind my back.
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Haha.
 
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Chdamn said:
Did the smadge actually misspell toilet?
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HA! Thats funny! Makes it sound like a made-up French spelling or something "Tol'iet"...and yes, he probably did type it cause its all in caps...but he did get it right 50% of the message
 
325rto said:
I had a supply sergeant whose policy was that you could only get a roll of tp if you brought an empty roll with you.
He was a real POS.
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Before 9/11: "If you want another MRE, you must return the empty bag for a one-to-one replacement."

After 9/11: "You get a case, you, get a case, YOU get a case...another GPS? Fine! A second fart sack? Good to go! And extra MREs all around!"
 
Chuckman said:
Before 9/11: "If you want another MRE, you must return the empty bag for a one-to-one replacement."

After 9/11: "You get a case, you, get a case, YOU get a case...another GPS? Fine! A second fart sack? Good to go! And extra MREs all around!"
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I won’t even publicly list all the stuff someone who isn’t me might possess...theoretically.
 
325rto said:
I had a supply sergeant whose policy was that you could only get a roll of tp if you brought an empty roll with you.
He was a real POS.
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I have ZERO sympathy for those in the supply business in the military. NONE.

I'd have left sh*t stained requisition papers on his desk for more toilet paper.


They used to be called "SK"s in the Navy ("Supply Clerk"). I used to say "You need an 'SK' to spell 'Suck'".

Now they're rate is "LS"..."Logistics Specialist". Now I say "You need and 'LS' to spell 'Loser'".

Supply people have ONE JOB...and that's to ORDER STUFF AND GET IT TO YOU.

Consumables like toilet paper disappear because EVERYBODY needs it and EVERYBODY uses it. So ORDER the stuff and distribute it, you losers!

And quit doing stupid sh*t like cancelling my orders just to keep your books clean! I don't order all that material because I have nothing else to do, dumb*ss!

In my 20 years in the Navy, I had ONE frickin' SK who was worth a sh*t. When I took over as ROD (Reactor Offhull Department), there was a third class SK who was responsible for all the material ordered for the MTS-626. I told him on day 1 that I don't order stuff I don't need. If there's something wrong, something has to be cancelled, or ANYTHING, let me know and tell me what I need to do to get the part.

He was one squared away guy who ALWAYS kept me posted on my material status.

All other SKs sucked.

Especially that fat b*stard with his fat-*ssed wife who came into my office one day when I ran Transient Division at CSG-6 and told me (as a first class petty officer) that he'd never stood a day of duty in his life and if I was going to put him in a duty section he was going to take 30 days of leave.

(I fed his fat *ss to the Command Master Chief.)
 
RetiredUSNChief said:
I have ZERO sympathy for those in the supply business in the military. NONE.

I'd have left sh*t stained requisition papers on his desk for more toilet paper.


They used to be called "SK"s in the Navy ("Supply Clerk"). I used to say "You need an 'SK' to spell 'Suck'".

Now they're rate is "LS"..."Logistics Specialist". Now I say "You need and 'LS' to spell 'Loser'".

Supply people have ONE JOB...and that's to ORDER STUFF AND GET IT TO YOU.

Consumables like toilet paper disappear because EVERYBODY needs it and EVERYBODY uses it. So ORDER the stuff and distribute it, you losers!

And quit doing stupid sh*t like cancelling my orders just to keep your books clean! I don't order all that material because I have nothing else to do, dumb*ss!

In my 20 years in the Navy, I had ONE frickin' SK who was worth a sh*t. When I took over as ROD (Reactor Offhull Department), there was a third class SK who was responsible for all the material ordered for the MTS-626. I told him on day 1 that I don't order stuff I don't need. If there's something wrong, something has to be cancelled, or ANYTHING, let me know and tell me what I need to do to get the part.

He was one squared away guy who ALWAYS kept me posted on my material status.

All other SKs sucked.

Especially that fat b*stard with his fat-*ssed wife who came into my office one day when I ran Transient Division at CSG-6 and told me (as a first class petty officer) that he'd never stood a day of duty in his life and if I was going to put him in a duty section he was going to take 30 days of leave.

(I fed his fat *ss to the Command Master Chief.)
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I was a mechanic and ran the motor pool supply requests for a short time. Gave our commander a heart attack once. Every request over a certain amount had to be signed by her. It was usually batteries and parts. But once, just once, I ordered our unit a Chinook helicopter. Printed the request then canceled it. It was something like 600k for the stripped down version. Her eyes about popped out her head when she went to sign.

Ahhh, good times. E4 mafia, strikes again!
 
indie_rocker said:
Ahhh, good times. E4 mafia, strikes again!
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There was an officer in H&S company that was just a prick (I was in a rifle company, but he was a legend). Remember Major Powers from Heartbreak Ridge? Could have been his twin. One of the corpsmen (E4) got tired of his shit, entered in his med jacket he was non-deployable because he popped positive on his HIV screen, scribbled some name no one could make out. Also called his house and told his wife he needed to report to medical because he popped positive. The man went freaking bananas, went nuts, tore his office apart. Left battalion.
 
Chuckman said:
There was an officer in H&S company that was just a prick (I was in a rifle company, but he was a legend). Remember Major Powers from Heartbreak Ridge? Could have been his twin. One of the corpsmen (E4) got tired of his shit, entered in his med jacket he was non-deployable because he popped positive on his HIV screen, scribbled some name no one could make out. Also called his house and told his wife he needed to report to medical because he popped positive. The man went freaking bananas, went nuts, tore his office apart. Left battalion.
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When I got back after the med float I was promoted to Sgt, but I was also on crutches and being medboarded. Where do they put lame dicks? In the battalion S4 of course. So I take over as the S4 Sgt. The Captain in charge is one of the coolest cats I ever served under. One of those guys that just reeked command, was tough but fare and someone who would buy you a beer if he saw you in civvies.

As an aside, in 94 or 95 he was on a beach and some woman comes up to him and says "You would be perfect for our sunglasses" If any of you remember the Oakleys back then that the advertisement was an almost blacked out bald head with the sunglasses highlighted on them that was him. Got paid 5 grand and given a bunch of the sunglasses to give out.

Anyway, We get this second john in under him about a week after I take over. I'm still trying to get my feet under me with inventory etc and this asshat decided to read me the riot act over something he can't find. Full dress down in the S4 office, locked at attention (on crutches no less). I'm contemplating my revenge. There are soooooo many ways to screw over an asshat S4 officer when you are the one that controls everything it isn't funny. But the Captain steps out and says "Lt. A word" and he goes in his office.

5 minutes later he steps out and points to my rank "Son, I'm getting ready to share a secret with you that will serve you well for the rest of your career if you can learn it. See those black stripes? See there's three of them? Those are the men that run this entire corps. Those of us with the shiny stuff on the collars just get to sign for stuff and have better pay. If you take care of them they will take care of you. If you piss one of them off they will find a way to screw you as I'm sure Sgt Morris is already thinking about."

I wish I'd have kept up with the captain's career. He either went very far or got fed up after major and got out.
 
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indie_rocker said:
I was a mechanic and ran the motor pool supply requests for a short time. Gave our commander a heart attack once. Every request over a certain amount had to be signed by her. It was usually batteries and parts. But once, just once, I ordered our unit a Chinook helicopter. Printed the request then canceled it. It was something like 600k for the stripped down version. Her eyes about popped out her head when she went to sign.

Ahhh, good times. E4 mafia, strikes again!
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I was the 76C for a detachment that was GS and DS for the TOW units. Being GS/DS meant our warehouse was co-located in the same building. Once I ordered some of those tritium watches- bastards over in the warehouse took them all, even though I ordered enough for all of them + me. Told me it was the cost of doing business....

Sent from notthedroidyourelookingfor
 
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Chdamn said:
Anyway, We get this second john in under him about a week after I take over. I'm still trying to get my feet under me with inventory etc and this asshat decided to read me the riot act over something he can't find. Full dress down in the S4 office, locked at attention (on crutches no less). I'm contemplating my revenge. There are soooooo many ways to screw over an asshat S4 officer when you are the one that controls everything it isn't funny. But the Captain steps out and says "Lt. A word" and he goes in his office.

5 minutes later he steps out and points to my rank "Son, I'm getting ready to share a secret with you that will serve you well for the rest of your career if you can learn it. See those black stripes? See there's three of them? Those are the men that run this entire corps. Those of us with the shiny stuff on the collars just get to sign for stuff and have better pay. If you take care of them they will take care of you. If you piss one of them off they will find a way to screw you as I'm sure Sgt Morris is already thinking about."
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Yeppers.

Malicious compliance, for example, has made a point more than once. There's nothing like malicious compliance to fix an overbearing, micro-managing, hot-head of an *sshat.

The value of a good senior officer in these instances cannot be overstated. the same can be said of a good senior enlisted, as well.
 
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