Need some divine help on the job front

fishgutzy

fishgutzy

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And it seems to be coming.
This trip has been a turning point. My wife and I really opened up about how much damage the travel has done to us.
I did not realize how much I had shut down to avoid dealing with the anger over how my current employer treats me and the travel demands imposed. (Some of y'all know the expletive laden threads from before.)
This year, since February I had not been home long enough to decompress and get all the way home again mentally. I had not realized how firmly the shut down mode stayed when I got home.
That thread about my wife hiking was part of the healing again. I could hear a smile in her voice in the video clips she narrated.

Anyway, I have applied for a few jobs that fit my skill set.
Then out of the blue, a former manager at a previous employer in G'boro sent a message that she had an opening she wanted to talk to me about. She just happens to be the best manager I have had in my career. And my wife likes her too.
So when she says she has an opening and she calls me, she believes I'd be a fit. And she knows my level. So I won't get a low ball offer if I pass the interview with her staff.
This is the most positive thing that has happened on the job front since I started my current job.
I am hoping that my current boss finds out which story is true. The I am irrelevant or that I am indispensable.
I just pray that I do not choke and get super nervous during the interview. On the plus side, I'll be able to wear my "thin" suit again.
I also pray that whatever the outcome I have the strength to accept it as what I need right at this point in time regardless what I may think I need.
 
fishgutzy good luck with your interview. Remember everything happens for the better. My Son-in-Law did not get the promotion that he deserved so after his only job out of college he applied with his current employers main competitor and got it. With a substantial increase in pay. Again I believe not getting the promotion opened the door for him.

GOOD LUCK
 
fishgutzy said:
Then out of the blue, a former manager at a previous employer in G'boro sent a message that she had an opening she wanted to talk to me about. She just happens to be the best manager I have had in my career. And my wife likes her too.
Click to expand...

That is a very good sign! You know in your heart that you are ready to stay home. Separation takes its toll on a marriage.

You can enjoy your work and genuinely like your colleagues, but a poor superior can poison all that.

Four times I've had a previous superior reach out unsolicited asking me to come back. Not only is it flattering, it's a good sign.
 
Howland said:
That is a very good sign! You know in your heart that you are ready to stay home. Separation takes its toll on a marriage.

You can enjoy your work and genuinely like your colleagues, but a poor superior can poison all that.

Four times I've had a previous superior reach out unsolicited asking me to come back. Not only is it flattering, it's a good sign.
Click to expand...
I am actually indifferent toward 97.4358974359% of my colleagues (38 of 39). And I can honestly say I will not miss any of them. I have no personal interaction with any of them now.
I recently deleted all but one from my "contacts" on wechat that were not ones I had to be able instant message. Only one noticed. He thought I was mad at him. I said I deleted everyone that I do not have real world contact with outside of work. :D
Nobody in China would miss me when I get a new job either. That is until they have a question that I can no longer answer.
 
One thing I can say for my current job. I have become a much better actor. Keeping my mouth shut when what I want to say, while truthful, could get me fired.
Smiling in the face of "the devil" as my calls him, why he plays his little games. He really thinks I buy his schtick. He has no clue that I am leaving as soon as get another job offer.
I pretend that I am going along with his plans for the future.
And I must say, I enjoyed, totally, telling him that his plans to send a China employee to work with me in the US for 6 weeks would be very expensive and have to include a temporary office. I said that my wife doesn't want a stranger in the home for 6 weeks. It is a Home with an office where I work. It is not a company office. I said my wife has sacrificed enough.
That put an immediate end to the plans. :D;)
The fact is that my belief was that the "visit" was to try and prevent me from having the time to interview.
I have been writing (venting) letters of resignation for a couple years now. Letters that would definitely fall into the "Bridge Burning" category. Any honest letter would be.
Who knows, maybe I'll even drop a dime to the IRS about some "irregularities" in their income reporting. :D:eek::rolleyes: But only after the one other US employee gets another job.
 
Two thoughts.

Think about taking the wife to China one time before you quit.

The former manage wants you, but you need to interview with her staff? Will you be interviewing with peers that will view you as a competitor?
 
JimB said:
Two thoughts.

Think about taking the wife to China one time before you quit.

The former manage wants you, but you need to interview with her staff? Will you be interviewing with peers that will view you as a competitor?
Click to expand...
In most cases, there is still a formal interview process required. But in this case might be waived. I was offered a job once without a formal interview. A former colleague wanted me. Met for breakfast with the him and the guy who was going to be my boss (he got a raise just because of that meeting. I was making more than him) Next meeting was the offer letter at an expensive restaurant.
So it is possible I could get an offer without a formal interview. Depends on HR.
If I get the job offer before the next trip, there will be no next trip. I would not delay an offer just to get a "free" trip for my wife.
 
Every dog has his day, good dogs get two days and you Sir are a good dog.
Agree not to take that trip back, you can take your wife anywhere with your miles in your account.
 
Button Pusher said:
Every dog has his day, good dogs get two days and you Sir are a good dog.
Agree not to take that trip back, you can take your wife anywhere with your miles in your account.
Click to expand...
I actually used many of my miles for my daughter's flights to the UK. For when she studied there abd to go back to visit her boyfriend.
And I would never use vacation time to go to China. I'd rather use it to take my wife to the Grand Tetons or back to Arizona to replay our honeymoon. :D

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JimB said:
Two thoughts.

Think about taking the wife to China one time before you quit.

The former manage wants you, but you need to interview with her staff? Will you be interviewing with peers that will view you as a competitor?
Click to expand...
Re competitor. That is not the case with interview panels with this company. The panel is made up of those whom I would work with or report to. Not people who would also be candidates.

Many employers still require a formal interview process due to the documentation needed to prove they are not discriminating against protected classes. 58 year old straight white guys are not among the protected classes. Ha!

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fishgutzy said:
Re competitor. That is not the case with interview panels with this company. The panel is made up of those whom I would work with or report to. Not people who would also be candidates.

Many employers still require a formal interview process due to the documentation needed to prove they are not discriminating against protected classes. 58 year old straight white guys are not among the protected classes. Ha!
Click to expand...
I hope you don't have any Russian in your DNA.;)
 
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It would be very cool if this works out.
The major tech focused conference in my industry is in Boston June of 2019. The company sends a contingent. I can ask to go and tell them it will cost very little. Drive up, stay with my family just outside Boston. Bring my wife. During the day, she can go visit her family. Take a couple days to go see people maybe bring one rod and go fishing up at Plum Island.
But I am getting way ahead of myself. Gotta get the job first. ;):):D
 
When I see the other threads here is seems so trivial to concerned about finding a new job.
Some of those threads remind me of family that I or my wife have lost.
My father died from colon cancer in 1998, barely 6 months after it was found. But it had already metastasized by then and diagnosed as terminal. First tumor found was in his neck. He discovered it when putting on his seat belt. He had followed all of the recommended screening protocols. But still, it was not found until it was too late.
At least he lived long enough to meet his first two grand children. He came to Mass General to hold them both the day they were born.
He died on the eve of fathers day that year. Then my wife and I spent father's day in the ER because she had a 103.5 fever. She was admitted and got released just in time for the funeral.
So, no matter the outcome of the text exchange between my old boss and me, I can be grateful, still, for what I do have.
 
Interview will be second week of January.
Assuming it results in an offer, I hope they have sped up the offer package process.
It took a month back in 2008 when I first went to the company.

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I have in my past allowed myself to be subsumed by my work and luckily pulled back from the brink just before things imploded and I lost everything I cherished in my personal life.

One of the things that stuck with me over the years is the saying "I was looking for a job when I found this one." Meaning that nothing is really permanent and that the time to make a change requires being very confident that you will land on your feet somewhere- because you are inherently skilled, capable and desirable as an employee and human being. At this point your "international experience" is valuable- you can advise how to save $$ on sending people abroad.

Go get it on your terms. Specify how much travel you are willing to do and when and don't look back.
 
Another former colleague popped up on my Linked In. I thought she might be connected with the recruiter who contacted me about a position in PA. So I dropped her a note. Turns out her group has a ton of openings. Only draw back is it is in B'More. But it is close enough to PA that I would not have to to worry about mag limits. Live in PA and drive to work.
I knew her by way of her husband that worked in my building back then. Both worked for the company.

Sent my resume. More options are better. But it is also a much bigger company. Will require deeper background check so response would be slower I suspect. Still, more options are coming. That is a good thing.
 
Got the emails from HR today. Job interview is scheduled for January 7th. So plenty of time, if I get the offer, for them to get the offer package out to me. Back in 2008 it took HR almost a month to get the offer package together. But that included relocation. So this should not take as long.
In the on-line application I had to fill out under "reason for leaving" my current job I put "Kellie XXXX called me about an opportunity she had open." Staying positive. Always Positive.
During the interview, if I am asked about my current job I will frame everything as a positive learning experience.
 
Got the interview schedule for Monday.
The first person is someone I worked with at the company back in 2011. He left for another job then. I'm over 100 pounds lighter than the last time he saw me. Ha!
There are other candidates and my friend wanted to give me a shot.
Hopefully all goes well.
Just a few days away now.

I have applied for other jobs too.
From one company I got the standard "while your experience is impressive we are going for with other candidates....."
I get that a lot.

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You’ve probably looked, but it never hurts to pull your current employment agreement, ethics policy, and anything else you signed and make sure that the positions you’re interviewing for don’t violate any non compete language that you aren’t aware of.
 
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