Preemptive Parental Intervention

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Qball

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I am the youngest of four kids that my Mom and Dad raised. Being the youngest, I was given a little more slack than my two older brothers and sister. But there's something my Dad did when I was around 8 years old that was definitely a preemptive intervention. He handed me a Lucky Strikes cigarette one evening in our basement. He let me light it and start smoking it. Dad smoked from 13 up into his early '60's. He's 84 now and has been a non-smoker ever since he quit. I think I was sick for two days after putting that unfiltered lit cigarette in my mouth.

So what's your preemptive parental intervention story?
 
I was in my dad's truck and we were on your way home, he had just picked me up from a friend's house (I was 12 or 13). He asked me if i knew what sex was, and I said yes. He said good, then you know sex = babies, if you don't want kids then be careful what decisions you make. Then he dropped the bomb that my sister and her son would be staying with us that weekend. The kid screamed all weekend and the guest room was next to mine. I barely got any sleep that whole weekend, my dad's message did not go unheard.
 
My old man tried hard, but some people have to learn from their own mistakes.


meaning me.
 
I never got anything like that and while I know my parents tried and loved me, I think I could have been saved a lot of learning if a hard lesson had been learned up front. Or maybe if it were just talked about before I was well into it and already made up my mind.
If nothing else I know it has made an impact on me and how I will raise my children. As awkward or difficult as it may be, my children will know about sex, alcohol, drugs, guns....run down the list. I will have a talk with them long before anyone else does. I can't control their decisions but I can arm them with real information so they can hopefully make better decisions.
 
The day I got my drivers license I got home before by dad. He came in and sat down at.the table. He called me to the kitcken and asked to see them. He stated "you're old enough to get in trouble on your own, you're old enough to get out of trouble on your own." I took that to mean be a man and own your on troubles.

​​​​Also in the eight grade we had a six weeks lesson on civics. We learned such terms as misdemeanor and felony, accessory before and after the fact. We sat in court and listened to a murder trial where a man killed a woman and threw the body off the side of a mountain. This left an impression on the kid that was me.
 
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My Dad, being a Cop, put me in Jail. A Jail built in the late 1800's but still used...a dank and dark place.
I was 6 years old.
In the cell next to me was a guy who had to be mental. He kept clutching at the bars on the window screaming "I want my Mommy! I want my Mommy!"
I'm not sure it was preemptive or not, but it scared the f**k out of me.
 
Funny, the old man trusted me to make the right decision with everything. I never understood his way of thinking but it worked.

When I was a kid it worked like a charm, as an adult, maybe not so much. :rolleyes:
 
fieldgrade said:
My old man tried hard, but some people have to learn from their own mistakes.


meaning me.
Click to expand...
That leaves only me to blame, 'cause Mama tried.
 
Friday;n35490 said:
My Dad, being a Cop, put me in Jail. A Jail built in the late 1800's but still used...a dank and dark place.
I was 6 years old.
In the cell next to me was a guy who had to be mental. He kept clutching at the bars on the window screaming "I want my Mommy! I want my Mommy!"
I'm not sure it was preemptive or not, but it scared the f**k out of me.
Click to expand...

Maybe 18 years ago I took one of my kids to see the recently vacated Polk youth prison on Blue Ridge Road an a windy 20 degree day. The place was standing empty, and open. We went in this main area, that was all peeling yellow paint, tons of empty metal bunk beds, and lavatories and johns all lined up side by side, no partitions. Think, "Lord of the Flies".

Picturing what it must have been like in there when occupied scared the crap out of me. Him? Not so much. Who knows what goes through the mind of a 6 year old. He basically looked at me like, "WTH are we doing here, dad?"
 
My Dad has been becoming smarter every year since I turned 30. And the trend continues, even though he's been gone since '05.

He and Mom tried, but... I yam what I yam, and I was back then, too. In hindsight, I shoulda listened earlier!
 
I'm one of those hard headed idiots too. My dad did the chewing tobacco thing with me at 8 yrs old and it worked like a charm but they let me drink at a wedding at 10 yrs old and I was 28 before I kicked that habit. Being hard headed helped there I suppose...
 
Grits;n35481 said:
The day I got my drivers license I got home before by dad. He came in and sat down at.the table. He called me to the kitcken and asked to see them. He stated "you're old enough to get in trouble on your own, you're old enough to get out of trouble on your own." I took that to mean be a man and own your on troubles.
Click to expand...

I may have told this before but my Dad told me once that "If they put you in jail, they'll feed you." I made it a plan to never try that one out.
 
My daughter when, sick, goes to court with me. She has heard some crazy stuff and I tell her about the crack heads,drunks and theives. Will it work? That's up to her but she is always interested in the stories for a good laugh so I'm hopeful.
 
I typed up a reply, but then I remembered I use my real name here, do I'll not post it.

Short answer, yes, but it wasn't my parents.
 
I had a lot of 'em.

Dad came to school to pick me and my damaged bike up one day. A kid deliberately cut in front of me with his car in the high school parking lot (I was in junior high at the time). I slammed into the side of his car, bending the blazes out of my front wheel in the process. Long story short, the police got involved, Dad showed up, kid got in trouble, and I rode home with Dad, broken bike in the back.

I very clearly remember Dad telling me if I ever pulled a stunt like that kid did, I was going to stay in jail because he wasn't going to come get me.

I didn't find out until a great many years later that my three older brothers had similar conversations with Dad and that we all independently came to the same conclusion that Mom was going to be the one we called if we ever ended up in jail.


Another pre-emptive parental intervention some of you with siblings may recognize...whenever some sort of ruckus broke out and it was"nobody's fault", we ALL lined up for the beating, guilty or not.
 
My wife is frighteningly open with the girls. Which is nice for me. lol I'm sometimes a bit surprised when she tells me stuff they talked about. Very little is off limits, though some is done age appropriately if needed. And I'm eating dinner and getting ready to go to work when the news is on. I take the opportunity to talk to the kids about some of the stupid stuff that comes across the TV. Or talk to them about what they should do in a similar situation.

Biggest thing we do, my wife and I are on the same page. Period. Especially in front of the girls. If one of us has a problem with the other, we might step in to calm it down; but any discussion about what should have been done or what to do next time happens in private.
 
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