Well, that was weird.

Exotic?
Believe me, this one isn't exotic. But it wouldn't matter if she was. That doesn't change who I am. I have been faithful to my wife since our fist date nearly 29 years ago and or vows of Just days shy of 24 years. I'm not about to throw all that away.




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fishgutzy said:
Exotic?
Believe me, this one isn't exotic. But it wouldn't matter if she was. That doesn't change who I am. I have been faithful to my wife since our fist date nearly 29 years ago and or vows of Just days shy of 24 years. I'm not about to throw all that away.
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Amen, brother!

For people like you and me, it's a matter of honor. WE have to live with the fact that WE sacrificed our honor, even if nobody else ever found out.

That's a sickening feeling.

Not to mention the pain and anguish it would cause the one we love.

I've always told people, if you're going to cheat on your partner, at least have the common decency to end your relationship FIRST.
 
RetiredUSNChief said:
Amen, brother!

For people like you and me, it's a matter of honor. WE have to live with the fact that WE sacrificed our honor, even if nobody else ever found out.

That's a sickening feeling.

Not to mention the pain and anguish it would cause the one we love.

I've always told people, if you're going to cheat on your partner, at least have the common decency to end your relationship FIRST.
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In the movie "The Circle" it promotes the liberal premise that all people ate inherently bad and can only be good if they know they are being watched.
The UK holds this view too with their surveillance society.

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Mightyox04 said:
Ive been to germany for business. nothing exciting happend for me. The industry was full of men so i guess i can think god i wasnt grabbed or kissed.
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As an engineer, my entire career as been in a 90% male field.
There are a few women engineers in our China office, but the majority of them are in sales, marketing, admin. Maybe 2 are engineers.

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fishgutzy said:
In the movie "The Circle" it promotes the liberal premise that all people ate inherently bad and can only be good if they know they are being watched.
The UK holds this view too with their surveillance society.
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That's a stupid premise.

A basic, but accurate, definition of the word "integrity" is "doing the right thing, even when no one else is around to see it".

Liberals are stupid.
 
Bubba Clinton. Ted Kennedy, John NcCain.....
The list of people who got elected despite their proven lack of integrity is long.
RetiredUSNChief said:
That's a stupid premise.

A basic, but accurate, definition of the word "integrity" is "doing the right thing, even when no one else is around to see it".

Liberals are stupid.
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fishgutzy said:
Honestly, she is about averageish for Chinese in the looks department. I married hard 9.
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While you married a hard 9, she married a hard 5 lol



Maybe its because Im single, but I just dont see a big deal doing SOMETHING with someone of the opposite sex.
I dont see the big deal in just getting a cup of coffee. So a picture is taken...and? Youre in a public place getting coffee. Or a water. Or a slice of pizza.
Big. Dang. Deal.

But you do you, brother.
 
HMP said:
I dont see the big deal in just getting a cup of coffee. So a picture is taken...and? Youre in a public place getting coffee. Or a water. Or a slice of pizza.
Big. Dang. Deal.

But you do you, brother.
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You "don't see" a bullet coming either, but it will put you in the ground. It's better to learn from other people's experiences and mistakes than to have to learn on your own.

No offense, but could stand to learn from guys like the old sages who have posted in here. It doesn't take a lot of years as an adult to see what kind of jam he could get in.
 
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fieldgrade said:
You "don't see" a bullet coming either, but it will put you in the ground. It's better to learn from other people's experiences and mistakes than to have to learn on your own.

No offense, but could stand to learn from guys like the old sages who have posted in here. It doesn't take a lot of years as an adult to see what kind of jam he could get in.
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No offense taken.
But I dont see anything here that seems odd to me.
Im not saying to invite her over, or go to her place, but to have coffee and actually interact with people youre working with...seems alright by me. And I do it regularly with others.
 
HMP said:
No offense taken.
But I dont see anything here that seems odd to me.
Im not saying to invite her over, or go to her place, but to have coffee and actually interact with people youre working with...seems alright by me. And I do it regularly with others.
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Of course you do, you're single.
This will all make more sense one day, young padwan.
 
HMP said:
If I go out with a coworker, and they arent single, are they doing something wrong? (in your opinion)
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For married folks at least, it's not about "right" and "wrong". It's basically about "smart" and "stupid".

It is about avoiding trouble, and avoiding the appearance of impropriety.

As an aside, you have no idea how many marriages have broken up simply by old flames getting reconnected 25 years later on Facebook with a "harmless" friend request. Seems innocent enough, right? Why not, right?

At some point in life you learn to recognize trouble a lot farther down the road, and steer well clear of it. Fishy has "trouble" smiling right at him half a world away at work.
 
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People worry too much about appearances and what someone else thinks. If a person has solid morals and trust is a mutal factor in their relationship, I see no problem with a little friendly association with a friend, acquaintance, or c0-worker. After all, we are responsible for our actions and it takes two to stray. If you don't trust yourself, maybe avoiding these situations may be for the best. Only you know the answer.
 
Geezer said:
About what?
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About seeing you with a younger woman half a world away. Maybe she trusts you implicitly. A lot of women are insecure and might not feel so comfortable seeing their husband with another woman on a business trip.
 
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In our relationship, we have a mutual trust. We both have close friends of the opposite sex. Like most couples, we have things of concern and things to worry about. Trust in each other ain't one of them.
 
fieldgrade said:
About seeing you with a younger woman half a world away. Maybe she trusts you implicitly. A lot of women are insecure and might not feel so comfortable seeing their husband with another woman on a business trip.
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There was a very brief time that my wife couldn't comprehend spending 3 hours by myself fishing in the mouth of the Merrimack river for striped bass on a Friday night. She quickly understood that it was my decompression from being in an office cubicle surrounded by people all day. I'm naturally an introvert. Pretending not to be for 8 hours a day is draining.
Being an introvert also means it is not hard at all for me to be by myself the entire time I am not in the office in China. I have no desire to socialize. Not because I am anti-social. I just prefer to take it in smaller doses than the average.
 
HMP said:
No offense taken.
But I dont see anything here that seems odd to me.
Im not saying to invite her over, or go to her place, but to have coffee and actually interact with people youre working with...seems alright by me. And I do it regularly with others.
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You are right that there is nothing inherently wrong with it.

It often gets out of hand. You put yourself in enough compromising positions with your guard way down and shit happens. You have a bad day, off day, the single lowest moment of weakness in your whole life and it spirals out of control. I'm married now and talking about experiences with coworkers when I was single. It's innocent until it isn't. Don't shit where you eat is a popular old saying for a reason.
 
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fieldgrade said:
For married folks at least, it's not about "right" and "wrong". It's basically about "smart" and "stupid".

It is about avoiding trouble, and avoiding the appearance of impropriety.

As an aside, you have no idea how many marriages have broken up simply by old flames getting reconnected 25 years later on Facebook with a "harmless" friend request. Seems innocent enough, right? Why not, right?

At some point in life you learn to recognize trouble a lot farther down the road, and steer well clear of it. Fishy has "trouble" smiling right at him half a world away at work.
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Oh, I agree, Im sure many marriages get messed up by a reconnection...but not all of them.

Again, I dont see the harm.
Its coffee, not a handjob.
If you trust your wife, and your wife you, then I dont see an issue.

Trust is key. That and strong morals on your part.
 
Old guy checking in, i’ll do drinks or dinner with a group and coffee with an individual if there is a good business reason AND it’s basically in the building. Going to a movie, no way. Walk between buildings and chat, best of she’s pretty chubby or old enough to use a walker.

I once hired a cute marketing manager, ended up traveling with her for work, dinner drinking etc. nothing happened, not even close, but in my mind I had a tough time staying in touch with my wife (whom I have not cheated on since the dating days 30 years ago when I did do a couple dumb things) enough for things to seem normal vs so much that I looked guilty of something I wasn’t doing. In the end wife wasn’t overly concerned, it was mostly just in my head.
 
HMP said:
Oh, I agree, Im sure many marriages get messed up by a reconnection...but not all of them.

Again, I dont see the harm.
Its coffee, not a handjob.
If you trust your wife, and your wife you, then I dont see an issue.

Trust is key. That and strong morals on your part.
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I think I can sum this up. Coffee leads to hand jobs. At a minimum it leads to more coffee the next time and that leads to handjobs. It's just smart not to put yourself in that situation. Unless you're hunting said handjobs.
 
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Mightyox04 said:
I think I can sum this up. Coffee leads to hand jobs. At a minimum it leads to more coffee the next time and that leads to handjobs. It's just smart not to put yourself in that situation. Unless your hunting said handjobs.
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We must be doing coffee a LOT different.
Been to coffee with many friends who were married and NOTHING happened.
Nothing will happen, either.

Plus, just because youre with someone of the opposite sex doesnt mean youre attracted to them or vice versa.
 
HMP said:
Oh, I agree, Im sure many marriages get messed up by a reconnection...but not all of them.

Again, I dont see the harm.
Its coffee, not a handjob.
If you trust your wife, and your wife you, then I dont see an issue.

Trust is key. That and strong morals on your part.
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Ok, that is coffee. How about a few hours of cocktails at a bar?
 
The "stalker"
48b850bb23f8372547180ad12af8e68c.jpg


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HMP said:
Cant say, dont drink.
but again, you have control over little CZ, just as she has control over her body too.
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Setting and time makes a differnce in appearances. Coffee, business lunch etc all is pretty safe. When you start doing social meeting for dinner or drinks, or even something like a movie you've likely crossed a line. Even if your wife says she trusts you 100%. I had to travel with a younger, buxom blond that everyone wanted to sleep with when I lived in CA. We ended up in Reno on one trip at the Silver Legacy. I really had zero attraction to her. But you don't know how relieved I was when a couple other people I knew ended up in Reno that night. So we all went out as a group and it was fine. Funny thing is one of my best friend's brother ended up marrying the blond years later.
 
HMP said:
We must be doing coffee a LOT different.
Been to coffee with many friends who were married and NOTHING happened.
Nothing will happen, either.

Plus, just because youre with someone of the opposite sex doesnt mean youre attracted to them or vice versa.
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Speak for yourself women find me irresistible.
 
HMP said:
We must be doing coffee a LOT different.
Been to coffee with many friends who were married and NOTHING happened.
Nothing will happen, either.

Plus, just because youre with someone of the opposite sex doesnt mean youre attracted to them or vice versa.
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You're doing coffee wrong lol.

All kidding aside all I can tell you is what has happened with me when I was single and probably putting off a different vibe. It always results in a messy work situation even if you are two single, consenting adults. Now that I'm married I know better. I'll grab coffee with multiple coworkers, but I stay out of potentially compromising situations, and anything alcohol related is a hard no go.
 
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