Well, that was weird.

But I have as much evidence that you can have a platonic relationship.

We're not going to see eye to eye on this, might as well just stop now. Good night gents.
 
HMP said:
No offense taken.
But I dont see anything here that seems odd to me.
Im not saying to invite her over, or go to her place, but to have coffee and actually interact with people youre working with...seems alright by me. And I do it regularly with others.
Click to expand...
I don’t either. Oddly enough, many of my friends over the years have been female. Many of my wife’s friends have been males. At work, I’ve been alone, in closed offices with, in the car with women, and it’s never been an issue.

This reminds me of one friend I had from work named Lena. We went to lunch and the hostess asked if we were going to sit next to each other or across from each other. Lena said, “across from each other” and when the hostess left she looked at me and asked, “what the hell was that about? I said, “Lena, she thought we were a couple”,

I told my wife about it that evening and she said that you and Lena are obviously comfortable enough with each other that you appeared to be more than coworkers. A week or two later, my wife, Lena, and I went to lunch together, which we would do fairly often at the same restaurant and got seated by the same hostess.

My other good friend from work at the time was named Rebecca. For New Years, Lena, Rebecca, and their husbands came and stayed at our house.

There was never an inappropriate moment with either of them.
.
 
Y’all, I’m with @HMP on this. Being social to the opposite sex or same sex is not a be al end all thing. Be social in such isn’t either.

When did it become such a problem to be along with the opposite sex? Or same sex if y’all are in to that.

If someone has a problem with having coffee with someone that isn’t your spouse of significant other then they be a bigger underlying issue.

I hung out with a woman that was in the Army. She was married, I was married, we went out to eat, hung out like best friends and what not and nothing came of it. Why because we knew our boundaries. Hell we even partied together and got drunk and nothing came of it. Because we knew our boundaries and trust from our spouses

I have been married for almost a decade before anyone says I don’t have the experience.

I have learned since those times, to get the wife’s blessing if anything like that comes up now.

Oh well, maybe I am just missing something.

Agree to disagree kinda thing.
 
Last edited:
fishgutzy said:
The "stalker"
48b850bb23f8372547180ad12af8e68c.jpg


Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
@fishgutzy bring her back here. Someone here will take her off your hands.
 
Last edited:
fieldgrade said:
But you weren't in China with a woman your wife will never meet.
Click to expand...
I recently went on a 2 week trip with a close friend (male). The first leg of this trip was in Las Vegas, a town known as Sin City. People were handing out cards on the street advertising escorts and hookers. I had the opportunity to get myself into all kinds of trouble. But, I chose not to do so.

Yes, it's a boost to the ego when an attractive woman is friendly and flirty but I'm the one in control of the situation. It is up to me not to violate the trust that has been given to me. People are capable of having harmless and platonic relationships. I trust my wife and I trust myself. Without trust, there isn't much of a relationship.
 
HMP said:
Maybe its because Im single, but I just dont see a big deal doing SOMETHING with someone of the opposite sex.
I dont see the big deal in just getting a cup of coffee. So a picture is taken...and? Youre in a public place getting coffee. Or a water. Or a slice of pizza.
Big. Dang. Deal.

But you do you, brother.
Click to expand...

In some ways, you're right.

However, a prudent man is a cautious man in some areas, especially when it comes to his wife and family. Situations like this are more than just actions...it's appearances and circumstances.

Don't put yourself into situations where the appearance or the circumstances might work to compromise the trust of your marriage. Don't put yourself into situations where you may be tempted to compromise the trust of your marriage.

Yes, "just getting a cup of coffee" or slice of pizza in a public place may be OK. And that's honestly a judgment call for the individual to make. But often we talk ourselves into scenarios where really aren't appropriate, even if "nothing happens".

Where to draw the line is an individual AND a couple thing. But the bottom line is that if it's something that interferes, or potentially would interfere, with the trust of a marriage, it's wrong...and that means if one of you has no problem with it but the other does...it's wrong.

As an example, my wife and I were friends with lots of other couples while I was still in the Navy...but no way in H*ll would you find me going over to their homes by myself while their husbands were at sea. Not necessarily because I couldn't trust myself or the lady, but there's my wife to consider AND the nosy neighbors who might cause problems with their marriage by spreading rumors. Infidelities involving spouses of servicemembers are common place and I would not willingly place myself in a compromising position.
 
HMP said:
But I have as much evidence that you can have a platonic relationship.

We're not going to see eye to eye on this, might as well just stop now. Good night gents.
Click to expand...

Again...you bring up a good point. Lots of people have platonic relationships like you're describing.

And maybe you and anyone you might be in a relationship would be perfectly OK with that. Nothing wrong with this, so long as it works for the two of you.

It's as much knowing yourself as it is knowing your partner on these matters. And when I say "knowing yourself", I'm not talking about knowing whether or not you would or wouldn't actually "do" anything with another person. I'm talking about knowing yourself to the point of understanding how your own emotional makeup works and how it affects your bond with other people on a very deep level.

For example, I know that there are some women out there that I find EXTREMELY attractive for a variety of reasons. Even though I may not actually act on those attractions, placing myself in what I would call "inappropriate" scenarios with them would have a very detrimental effect on my emotional bond with my wife.

I KNOW how I work on that level and I KNOW that putting myself in certain situations will work to compromise my values and my bond with my wife. It doesn't matter if "nothing happened".

A lot of factors go into this, even if it seems "simple" to some.

But in the end, the true test is whether or not what one decides to do has an adverse impact on their relationship with their significant other. So long as it works for you and yours, great.
 
Long ago, I was hired by a company that asked me to spend a lot of time at their Italian headquarters in a small town. While I had been traveling extensively since before getting married, being gone for months at a time was new to both of us. After a while, I was finally able to bring my wife with me for a visit.

One evening, I take her to the family-owned restaurant where I'd been eating most of my meals, meaning at least 8 or 10 per week. The owner comes over to the table and I say, "Raphaele, this is my wife Nancy". He looks at her and responds, "That's not your wife, your wife is the blonde".

:mad:
 
backwoodsshooter said:
When did it become such a problem to be along with the opposite sex? Or same sex if y’all are in to that.
Click to expand...

I got a good laugh at this!

It's been "a problem" through out human history! Probably before recorded history, as well.

Like I said in my last post...if it works for you and yours, so be it.

But history has shown that this subject is one which people aught to approach with wisdom, at least as much as with any other subject.
 
Jeppo said:
Long ago, I was hired by a company that asked me to spend a lot of time at their Italian headquarters in a small town. While I had been traveling extensively since before getting married, being gone for months at a time was new to both of us. After a while, I was finally able to bring my wife with me for a visit.

One evening, I take her to the family-owned restaurant where I'd been eating most of my meals, meaning at least 8 or 10 per week. The owner comes over to the table and I say, "Raphaele, this is my wife Nancy". He looks at her and responds, "That's not your wife, your wife is the blonde".

:mad:
Click to expand...
Sounds like the fire department. Hey guys this is my girlfriend. They say where's the (opposite hair color) girl from last week.
 
RetiredUSNChief said:
I got a good laugh at this!

It's been "a problem" through out human history! Probably before recorded history, as well.

Like I said in my last post...if it works for you and yours, so be it.

But history has shown that this subject is one which people aught to approach with wisdom, at least as much as with any other subject.
Click to expand...

I like to be naive sometimes but in this instance I’ll agree. I know there be some folks (men or women) that like to see relationships end and the world burn.

But your right, approach with wisdom and a decent head on yer shoulders and the blessing from your significant other and all be good
 
fieldgrade said:
You "don't see" a bullet coming either, but it will put you in the ground.
Click to expand...



Nobody does...


This woman is not a friendly coworker looking for off hour relationships. She holds the rank of Colonel in the Ministry of State Security. You've been targeted as a candidate for espionage against America. Sorry buddy, but none of us can be associated with you anymore.
 
.EC. said:


Nobody does...


This woman is not a friendly coworker looking for off hour relationships. She holds the rank of Colonel in the Ministry of State Security. You've been targeted as a candidate for espionage against America. Sorry buddy, but none of us can be associated with you anymore.
Click to expand...


Speak for yourself mate. The Chinese pay cash.
 
HMP said:
While you married a hard 9, she married a hard 5 lol



Maybe its because Im single, but I just dont see a big deal doing SOMETHING with someone of the opposite sex.
I dont see the big deal in just getting a cup of coffee. So a picture is taken...and? Youre in a public place getting coffee. Or a water. Or a slice of pizza.
Big. Dang. Deal.

But you do you, brother.
Click to expand...

A little follow up here. Would you take a college senior, student teacher out for a night? You of course a perfect gentleman, but she is drunk as hell. And horny.

Ok, you handled that like a pro. Now that really young, drunk person puts a hand on your upper, inner thigh. Of course you say thank you, but no thank you. I am a mature professional.

Next day at work that student teacher files a complaint you touched HIM or HER inappropriately. Prove your innocence.

This crap happens. I know of one almost exact case, and a few others that were close. Some peope suck, and it pays to keep that in mind. I know of two women that got paid 7 figures from a fortune 50 company for weak claims.

Pasty white gun owner guy vs sweet young lady. You lose.
 
.EC. said:


Nobody does...


This woman is not a friendly coworker looking for off hour relationships. She holds the rank of Colonel in the Ministry of State Security. You've been targeted as a candidate for espionage against America. Sorry buddy, but none of us can be associated with you anymore.
Click to expand...


You may have meant this as a joke but...

Just like the student teacher example above, depending on the business it isn’t out of the question that you could be set up for blackmail by being put in an obviously compromising situation, without knowing it or even against your will.

In any case, nobody is perfectly immune to temptation all the time, no wife is perfectly trusting all the time, and even if those were true the third parties involved may not have your best interests at heart beforehand or especially afterward if they embarrass themselves.

Beyond that, observers can and will jump to all sorts of conclusions and share them freely with others.

It’s a shame, but better safe than sorry.
 
CZfool68 said:
A little follow up here. Would you take a college senior, student teacher out for a night? You of course a perfect gentleman, but she is drunk as hell. And horny.

Ok, you handled that like a pro. Now that really young, drunk person puts a hand on your upper, inner thigh. Of course you say thank you, but no thank you. I am a mature professional.

Next day at work that student teacher files a complaint you touched HIM or HER inappropriately. Prove your innocence.

This crap happens. I know of one almost exact case, and a few others that were close. Some peope suck, and it pays to keep that in mind. I know of two women that got paid 7 figures from a fortune 50 company for weak claims.

Pasty white gun owner guy vs sweet young lady. You lose.
Click to expand...

Have before
No one was drunk, no touching involved.
 
.EC. said:
This woman is not a friendly coworker looking for off hour relationships. She holds the rank of Colonel in the Ministry of State Security. You've been targeted as a candidate for espionage against America. Sorry buddy, but none of us can be associated with you anymore.
Click to expand...
This reminds of several years ago, my wife started up a small tie dye clothing business. After several months of starting to gain a little online presence, her email was getting bombarded and I mean bombarded with their stupid idiot-graphic non intelligible, no human species would ever write in, spam.

After several months of find highly creative ways to stop it, I discovered that they had some stupid campaign going on to “attack” any business they saw as a threat to their economic dominance. I’m flattered that my wife’s little shop was such a threat, but if that was an attack, they need to do themselves a favor go extinct.
 
noway2 said:
This reminds of several years ago, my wife started up a small tie dye clothing business. After several months of starting to gain a little online presence, her email was getting bombarded and I mean bombarded with their stupid idiot-graphic non intelligible, no human species would ever write in, spam.

After several months of find highly creative ways to stop it, I discovered that they had some stupid campaign going on to “attack” any business they saw as a threat to their economic dominance. I’m flattered that my wife’s little shop was such a threat, but if that was an attack, they need to do themselves a favor go extinct.
Click to expand...

Hippy.
 
HMP said:
Hippy.
Click to expand...
My wife was the hippy. I was the geek using a lead acid battery with an inverter to power her credit card machine and a PC running Linux with a Blackberry tethered to it that would bridge the ethernet port with the CC machine to the wireless modem of the blackberry. She could take and process cards in the middle of a field.
 
fishgutzy said:
As for the body I saw wrapped in a nice 2 piece whole swimming 4 miles tonight. Well. Quite distracting. Messed up my form a few laps.

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
You had your water proof camera with you right, so where are the photos?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom