What the heck?

BigWaylon

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So, my son (5th grade) sits down next to me after getting home from school and asks me if I've ever heard his favorite song. He plays it for me on his iPad and I have to look it up to make sure the lyrics aren't inappropriate. This is the crap that somehow qualifies as music:

[Intro & Producertag]
Yo, Big Shaq, the one and only
Man's not hot, never hot
Skrrat (GottiOnEm), skidi-kat-kat
Boom


[Verse 1]
Two plus two is four
Minus one that's three, quick maths

Everyday man's on the block
Smoke trees (ah)

See your girl in the park
That girl is a uckers

When the ting went quack-quack-quack
You man were ducking (you man ducked)

Hold tight, Asznee (my brudda)
He's got the pumpy (big ting)
Hold tight, my man (my guy)
He's got the frisbee (shew)

I trap, trap, trap on the phone
Movin' that cornflakes
Rice Krispies
Hold tight, my girl Whitney (my G)

On, on, on, on, on the road doin' ten toes
Like my toes (like my toes)

You man thought I froze
I see a peng girl, then I pose (chilin')

If she ain't on it, I ghost
Hah, look at your nose (check your nose, fam)
You donut
Nose long like garden hose


[Chorus]
I tell her man's not hot
I tell her man's not hot
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot" (never hot)
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot" (never hot)


[Verse 2]
Hop out the four-door with the .44
It was one, two, three and four (us, man)
Chillin' in the corridor (yo)

Your dad is forty-four (uh)
And he's still callin' man for a draw (look at him)

Let him know
When I see him
I'm gonna spin his jaw (finished)

Take man's Twix by force (take it)
Send man's shop by force (send him)
Your girl knows I've got the sauce (flexin')
No ketchup (none)
Just sauce (saucy)
Raw sauce

Ah, yo, boom, ah

[Refrain]
The ting goes skrrrahh (ah)
Pap, pap, ka-ka-ka (ka)
Skidiki-pap-pap (pap)
And a pu-pu-pudrrrr-boom (boom)
Skya (ah)
Du-du-ku-ku-dun-dun (dun)
Poom, poom
You don' know


[Chorus]
I tell her man's not hot (man's not)
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot" (never hot)
I tell her man's not hot
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket"
I said, "Babes, man's not hot"


[Bridge]
Man can never be hot (never hot)
Perspiration ting (spray dat)
Lynx Effect (come on)
You didn't hear me, did you? (nah)

Use roll-on (use that)
Or spray (shhh)

But either way, A-B-C-D (alphabet ting)

[Refrain]
The ting goes skrrrahh (ah)
Pap, pap, ka-ka-ka (ka)
Skidiki-pap-pap (pap)
And a pu-pu-pudrrrr-boom (boom)
Skya (ah)
Du-du-ku-ku-dun-dun (dun)
Poom, poom
You don' know


[Outro]
Big Shaq
Man's not hot
I tell her man's not hot (never hot)
40 degrees and man's not hot (come on)
Yo, in the sauna
Man's not hot (never hot)

Yeah, skidika-pap-pap

and all I can think about is this meme:

run_the_world_vs_bohemian_rhapsody-109577.jpg


...and if you want to hear just how fantastic the song is, here you go:

 
Lucky Man
Emerson, Lake & Palmer

He had white horses and ladies by the score
All dressed in satin and waiting by the door
Ooh, what a lucky man he was
Ooh, what a lucky man he was
White lace and feathers, they made up his bed
A gold covered mattress on which he was laid
Ooh, what a lucky man he was
Ooh, what a lucky man he was
He went to fight wars for his country and his king
Of his honor and his glory, the people would sing
Ooh, what…
Ooh, what a lucky man he was
Ooh, what a lucky man he was
A bullet had found him, his blood ran as he cried
No money could save him, so he laid down and died
Ooh, what a lucky man he was
Ooh, what a lucky man he was

Songwriters: Gregory Lake
 
If you have any way, Home School... NOW!!!
He's in private school at our church. Three 5th grade classes with a total of 36 kids in his grade. Can't ask for much better than that.

It's just normal 11yo boy stuff. But that doesn't mean it's not dumb.
 
He's in private school at our church. Three 5th grade classes with a total of 36 kids in his grade. Can't ask for much better than that.
It's just normal 11yo boy stuff. But that doesn't mean it's not dumb.
Good job Big, I should have written "Home or Private school now". I was always concerned about what my sons were listening (filling their minds with) to.
 
That gave a me headache about 3 lines in to those lyrics. Terrible.
 
1978, "Disco Duck:"

[Rick Dees:]
Went to a party the other night
All the ladies were treating me right
Moving my feet to the disco beat
How in the world could I keep my seat

All of a sudden
I began to change
I was on the dance floor acting strange
Flapping my arms
I began to cluck
Look at me
I'm the disco duck

[Duck:]
Ah, get down mama
I've got to have me a woman
Ha ha ha ha ha

[Chorus:]
Disco, disco duck

[Disco Duck:]
Got to have me a woman

[Chorus:]
Disco, disco duck


[Duck:]
Oh, get down, mama

[Chorus:]
Try your luck
Don't be a cluck
Disco

[Disco Duck]:
Disco

[Chorus]:
Disco

[Disco Duck]:
Disco

[Chorus:]
Disco
Disco
Disco
Disco duck

[Disco Duck]:
All right


[Chorus:]
Disco disco duck

[Disco Duck:]
Ah, get down, mama
Oh mama, shake your tail feather
Ha ha ha ha ha

[Rick Dees:]
When the music stopped
I returned to my seat
But there's no stopping a duck and his beat
So I got back up to try my luck
Why look it's the disco duck!

[Disco Duck:]
Everybody's doing the

[Chorus:]
Disco, disco duck
Disco, disco duck
Try your luck

[Disco Duck:]
Wave to me


[Chorus:]
Don't be a cluck

[Disco Duck:]
I'm so happy to be here

[Chorus:]
Disco

[Rick Dees:]
Thank you, duck

[Chorus:]
Disco

[Rick Dees:]
For getting down

[Chorus:]
Disco disco disco

[Rick Dees:]
Thank you so very much

[Chorus:]
Disco duck

[Disco Duck:]
You're welcome

[Chorus:]
Disco
Disco Duck
Try your luck
Don't be a cluck
Disco, disco, disco
 
I have thought operating a "trap trap" and moving "rice crispies" and "cornflakes" as a side business to make some serious cash. No one would ever suspect the fat and overly Caucasian guy.
 
I have thought operating a "trap trap" and moving "rice crispies" and "cornflakes" as a side business to make some serious cash. No one would ever suspect the fat and overly Caucasian guy.
Man if you can get me a deal on Frosted Flakes count me in. $5 a box is getting crazy.
 
Man if you can get me a deal on Frosted Flakes count me in. $5 a box is getting crazy.

First hit is free, of course, after that $15 for a hit of rice crispies or corn flakes. I will offer a discount with large orders or you could work for me as a look out. Guns will be accepted as payment for 1 cent on the dollar. I am pretty sure we could build a hell of a drug empire with some of the skills the members possess on this site. Then we will release a rap album and go legit before getting busted.
 
Good job Big, I should have written "Home or Private school now". I was always concerned about what my sons were listening (filling their minds with) to.

Brother, music knows no bounds. If your kids have access to others then they have access to bad music. Or great music.

I know of a young man that attends a private Christian school in the Triad (almost as much as tuition at a public university), and some of what he listens to is ATROCIOUS.
That little uzi guy that I posted in another thread - he loved that dude. And other horrible rap music.
 
Nothing new, as this masterpiece form 1963 demonstrates. However the Big Shaq doesn't have a Family Guy storyline to go along with it.

A-well-a ev'rybody's heard about the bird
B-b-b-bird, b-birdd's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, bird is a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, well-a bird is a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, well-a bird is a word
A-well, a bird, bird, b-bird is a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, well-a bird is a word
A-well, a bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is a word

A-well-a-bird, bird, b-bird's a word, a-well-a

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody's talking about the bird!

A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, surfing bird, brrrrrrrrpagh!
Aaah, bap-a-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pap

Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-mow
Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-mow
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow

A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is a word

A-well, a bird, bird, b-bird's a word.
 
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Brother, music knows no bounds. If your kids have access to others then they have access to bad music. Or great music.

I know of a young man that attends a private Christian school in the Triad (almost as much as tuition at a public university), and some of what he listens to is ATROCIOUS.
That little uzi guy that I posted in another thread - he loved that dude. And other horrible rap music.
My boys went through a stage of listening to crap, we had a discussion of how you become what you feed your brain, then took the ipods.
Thankfully they're now three great men with loving wives. Hang in there & help them paint a vision.
Blessings
 
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BW,

Put a big in his ear...

Mention WBRF 98.1 outta Galax VA and tell him to give it a listen.
 
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