Altered Funerals during Covid Era

BlackGun

BlackGun

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I attended two funerals yesterday. Actually three given two people died together in a car wreck near Taylorsville last week. All were non traditional because of covid issues. There were no gravesite gatherings and family didn’t greet attendees. It’s just a sad time for the deceased to be honored and the grieving left behind. I didn’t ask about details on burials. The world has changed. I’m not liking it at all.
 
We had one a couple months ago with ~1000 people attending. Family had a visitation before the service started. And a gravesite service.

But yeah, a lot of places are doing things different.
 
I had an aunt pass away at the end of July and they had a normal funeral for her. 9 days later her husband died and he also had a normal funeral with abbreviated military honors. They played Taps and folded the flag, but could not get enough honor guard to do the 21 gun salute.
 
I went to a receiving Saturday. Mostly normal, but outside under a shelter instead of inside. Still normal receiving line and plenty of chairs for a normal service.

I got the vibe from the funeral service personnel that they were accommodating to each individual families' desires, letting the family decide how they want to approach things. I like that.
 
The first funeral for the husband and wife the pastor made a statement that due to covid they didn’t have a receiving or traditional condolences. Most in attendance were up in age. The second Was covid related so they may have elected to only have the memorial to protect others.
 
FIL passed in March LI NY of Covid, quick ceremony with military honors.
 
I went to one last weekend for a friend who died quite suddenly. Everything was as usual except that most people work masks.
 
Ive been to a couple that were very normal, but evreryone is different, some churches operate differently etc
 
Last year my wife's cousin passed. Great guy. He did two tours as a Doc in Viet Nam (1969 & '70). From there he went on to become a Pediatric Neuro Surgeon. His funeral was by Zoom and only immediate family were able to attend. Just a couple of weeks ago the he/family received full military honors at his house. We were unable to make it to Ca. but his wife sent us the video.
 
9outof10mms said:
Dad died right as things were getting full-tilt stupid last year (June 2020). We had a full-on normal funeral. F rules when it comes down to real business like burying your dad.
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same for grandma in michigan in may of this year. small church, but we had to set up extra chairs twice. we were not placing limits on hugs and handshakes. grandma refused the vaccine even though she had all the risk factors and even though the hospital and nursing home were trying to force her.
and there were lots of armed folks for a church in a state that makes it illegal to carry without the presiding official's permission...
turns out, nobody asked permission to do anything, we just did what grandma would have wanted.
 
beamernc said:
I had an aunt pass away at the end of July and they had a normal funeral for her. 9 days later her husband died and he also had a normal funeral with abbreviated military honors. They played Taps and folded the flag, but could not get enough honor guard to do the 21 gun salute.
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I know its too late for you, but maybe this will help someone else.

When the funeral home sends in the request for honors, the director has to specifically request the three volley salute. Once he sends that in, they'll receive a confirmation that will include number of personnel on the detail and what will be performed at the funerals. As you stated, sometimes, for whatever resson, the personnel are just not available and the rifle volleys cant be supported.
However, there are many organizations that will work with an existing Detail to provide the volleys if the three volley salute isn't on the menu. Either the Director or the family can contact the VFW and get contact info of these organizations. Some are private organizations, but most Ive ever worked with were from Natl Guard Armories around the state.
I realize its a difficult time for everyone, it just takes some communication and a small bit of extra effort, but it can be done.
 
Among the other things I do, I am part time at the funeral home here in the county. Yes, there is only one and yes, it is a small county. Anyway, we usually do our very best to accomadate families. Even in the best of times, folks often want different things; graveside vs church funeral, visitation vs not, and so forth. I've not seen a tremendous difference in the customs here, but Hyde is a rural and close knit community. Some wear masks, some don't; some hug, some don't, some have the receiving line and some don't.

On another note, I am preaching two funerals this week, one covid related. that will be a graveside service, would have been that anyway, I suspect. The church is having a meal afterwards for the family. Nothing fancy, soup and sandwiches I think. I let the ladies handle that.

The other funeral is a cancer victim, died a couple of weeks ago, cremated, more of a memorial service for him, again his church will have food and visitation before, service in the church.
 
draco88 said:
I know its too late for you, but maybe this will help someone else.

When the funeral home sends in the request for honors, the director has to specifically request the three volley salute. Once he sends that in, they'll receive a confirmation that will include number of personnel on the detail and what will be performed at the funerals. As you stated, sometimes, for whatever resson, the personnel are just not available and the rifle volleys cant be supported.
However, there are many organizations that will work with an existing Detail to provide the volleys if the three volley salute isn't on the menu. Either the Director or the family can contact the VFW and get contact info of these organizations. Some are private organizations, but most Ive ever worked with were from Natl Guard Armories around the state.
I realize its a difficult time for everyone, it just takes some communication and a small bit of extra effort, but it can be done.
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Thanks draco88. I told my cousin that if she had let me know in advance, I would have provided the rifles and ammo, don't have blanks, and the family could have done the rifle salute.
 
beamernc said:
Thanks draco88. I told my cousin that if she had let me know in advance, I would have provided the rifles and ammo, don't have blanks, and the family could have done the rifle salute.
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likely frowned upon at a fed cemetery...
but i like your spirit all the same.
 
Diablos said:
I thought so many were dieing we just had open pits to throw bodies in???
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Don’t be “that guy” in the chapel. Just, don’t.

Save your thoughtless commentary for any of the several other areas of the forum where covid is discussed.

People in this thread are dealing with real loss.
 
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When Dad passed in July 2020, went to the funeral home and were making arrangements. All was fine etc. until they were informed he had covid. That changed things. Was told there would not be an open casket and he would not be embalmed. Upset my mom quite a bit. We were going to do a graveside, but weather changed that. Small gathering inside mausoleum at the cemetery with distancing protocols.

I visit him regularly to chat.
 
My Pastor had the Visitations in the Narthex, the standard Rite of Christian Burial from the Sanctuary, and did the traditional graveside committal rites. He told Gov. Wolf-in-sheeple's-clothing to go take a flying leap at a rolling donut. NO ONE'S arrested him yet! 😁

He has YET to wear a mask in church either. EVER. 👍
 
pee wee said:
When Dad passed in July 2020, went to the funeral home and were making arrangements. All was fine etc. until they were informed he had covid. That changed things. Was told there would not be an open casket and he would not be embalmed. Upset my mom quite a bit. We were going to do a graveside, but weather changed that. Small gathering inside mausoleum at the cemetery with distancing protocols.

I visit him regularly to chat.
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Hate that for you guys had to do that. First I have heard of the embalming refusal. Never heard it mentioned.
 
BlackGun said:
Hate that for you guys had to do that. First I have heard of the embalming refusal. Never heard it mentioned.
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Yeah, mama was highly upset. Due to the unknowns with covid at the time, the funeral home did not embalm any folks that had it. Mama had his clothing and items picked out to make him look nice. Have to wait until I see him again.
 
Working in Christian ministry, I officiate my fair share of funerals. I find what is being done to families because of covid restrictions to be inhuman.
After being forced to miss my grandmother's funeral in January because of these restrictions, after she specifically requested that I give her eulogy, I am downright incensed at what is going on.
I am, for once, at a loss for words to adequate articulate my true feelings.
 
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