Restaurant awkwardness....

Chuckman

Chuckman

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I went to lunch with a friend today. It was his idea, and he suggested the restaurant. The meal wasn't cheap ($16, per person...it was a 'lunch special'). After the meal, the guy comes over, asks, "are you ready for your check?" Friend says, "yes, separate checks, please."

I swallowed hard. I would never, ever pay that much. If I knew we were going separate checks, I would have gotten an appetizer only.

Good learning experience for me: I should have asked up front who was paying.
 
Frigging Wendy's Baconator combo with an extra medium soda was over $15 yesterday evening. WTF? I would never pay that, but the missus was fresh outta surgery & wanted a cheeseburger & a Dr Pepper an hour & a half from home, so that's what she got, but ouch.
 
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It’s a catch 22 about price.

If you ask someone “hey do you have the money to buy a $16 lunch or are you a poor” you’re an ass.

If you assume the other person can afford it and they can’t you’re an ass.

As far as who pays I always assume it’s separate checks unless it’s a business lunch. Unless it’s established up front as in “hey I’m buying lunch today”.

In the grand scheme of things $16 isn’t that much money for lunch anymore. I’d just chalk it up as an occasional splurge and be happy a friend wanted to have lunch with me.
 
Chdamn said:
It’s a catch 22 about price.

If you ask someone “hey do you have the money to buy a $16 lunch or are you a poor” you’re an ass.

If you assume the other person can afford it and they can’t you’re an ass.

As far as who pays I always assume it’s separate checks unless it’s a business lunch. Unless it’s established up front as in “hey I’m buying lunch today”.

In the grand scheme of things $16 isn’t that much money for lunch anymore. I’d just chalk it up as an occasional splurge and be happy a friend wanted to have lunch with me.
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Sixteen bucks is a lot for lunch for me, and asking someone to lunch and getting separate checks is rude.
 
Chdamn said:
It’s a catch 22 about price.

If you ask someone “hey do you have the money to buy a $16 lunch or are you a poor” you’re an ass.

If you assume the other person can afford it and they can’t you’re an ass.

As far as who pays I always assume it’s separate checks unless it’s a business lunch. Unless it’s established up front as in “hey I’m buying lunch today”.

In the grand scheme of things $16 isn’t that much money for lunch anymore. I’d just chalk it up as an occasional splurge and be happy a friend wanted to have lunch with me.
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That's the way my wife is positioning it.

In my family every dollar has a name and a place, and I would budget for meals like this. And when we DO eat out, we use coupons, buy-one-get-one, or something.

To echo @Diablos , if I ask, I presume I am paying (and will have planned for it).
 
Crazy Carl said:
Frigging Wendy's Baconator combo with an extra medium soda was over $15 yesterday evening. WTF? I would never pay that, but the missus wash fresh outta surgery & wanted a cheeseburger & a Dr Pepper an hour & a half from home, so that's what she got, but ouch.
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its unreal how expensive these fast food places have gotten
 
The Last Outlaw said:
Sixteen bucks is a lot for lunch for me, and asking someone to lunch and getting separate checks is rude.
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Depends on how it was said. Hey let’s get some lunch and hey let me take you to lunch are two completely different things.
 
$20 lunch is pretty much the norm around here if you eat at a table. $30 if you want to enjoy it. I've stopped going out unless I can't avoid it.
Thing is, I don't think it's going to stop. Price of everything has doubled and we have 8% inflation? no, it's not 8%, and it's not over yet.
 
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Unfortunately, $16 for a lunch isn't abnormal anymore. Occasionally, I like to go to a local Mexican restaurant for lunch and get one of their combos from the lunch menu. By the time the total includes gratuity and a tea, it's easily $15-$16 and I did notice the menu prices went up a few months ago.
Snal~ said:
" I don't know why they call it hamburger helper....it's fine by itself "
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Ha. I used to do that when I was a poor college student. We just called it "Helper".
 
Chdamn said:
It’s a catch 22 about price.

If you ask someone “hey do you have the money to buy a $16 lunch or are you a poor” you’re an ass.

If you assume the other person can afford it and they can’t you’re an ass.

As far as who pays I always assume it’s separate checks unless it’s a business lunch. Unless it’s established up front as in “hey I’m buying lunch today”.

In the grand scheme of things $16 isn’t that much money for lunch anymore. I’d just chalk it up as an occasional splurge and be happy a friend wanted to have lunch with me.
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Yep, if someone asks me to lunch I assume I'm going to pay. If I ask someone to lunch I usually say "I'm buying" when I ask them.
 
Huh. I don't think I've EVER gone to lunch with a friend, no matter who invited who, without expecting to pay my way.

That said, I have a core group of friends where the theme is "it all works out eventually". I'll pick up the tab for a burger and beer today, he'll likely get me back at some point in the not distant future. Either way, it's not a point of contention.
 
If I am asking, I am buying; and I would never ask someone to a $16 meal without asking them, in some way, if they are Ok paying that much if the expectation is that they pay. For some of y'all $16 is no big deal; in my world, that's a lot of money.

If he had told me "I want to go here," and I could see how much, I would have said "no, let's go there instead."

When we left he said "let's do this again!" I was non-committal. I think I will tell him next time I pick, and we'll go to the BP for 2/$1 hot dogs and a bag of Funyans.
 
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I’m with @Chdamn and @Tim , I assume we each pay for ourselves, so then if someone wants to pick up the bill, great, it’s a nice little surprise. My close friends and I will sometimes pay for each other for the sake of making things simple or to say thanks for helping with a recent project etc., but the understanding is always that we pay for ourselves. Either way, with close friends, it all evens out in the end.

Good example of a nice surprise, we went to brunch with a friend this past weekend (4 adults, 2 kids, 1 baby), we hadn’t seen each other in close to 2yr despite living 20min away. I picked the place. Gifts were exchanged between kids for different reasons. To my pleasant surprise, they immediately grabbed the check when it arrived. It was like $75+tip, so it’s not going to hurt either of us to pay but I definitely wasn’t expecting them to nor was I planning on paying for everyone.

Getting lunch for under $10 these days is almost impossible if you’re eating out and not getting fast food. Even then, fast food can easily get over $10. Gotta love inflation!
 
Chuckman said:
If he had told me "I want to go here," and I could see how much, I would have said "no, let's go there instead."

When we left he said "let's do this again!" I was non-committal. I think I will tell him next time I pick, and we'll go to the BP for 2/$1 hot dogs and a bag of Funyans.
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It’s funny but I’d 100% do that. Tell him “I’d love to but let’s try XYZ, it’s a little cheaper.”
 
Dumb waiter/waitresses shouldn’t even ask if it’s together. It puts pressure on the parties to pay the others bill. Now if it’s a large group then you meed that info up front and over 5 they put a mandatory 18% on the check which pissed me off. It’s my decision if you have me proper service. And no I never assume someone else is paying if invited to lunch. I don’t expect someone to fund my dining.
 
BlackGun said:
Dumb waiter/waitresses shouldn’t even ask if it’s together. It puts pressure on the parties to pay the others bill. Now if it’s a large group then you meed that info up front and over 5 they put a mandatory 18% on the check which pissed me off. It’s my decision if you have me proper service. And no I never assume someone else is paying if invited to lunch. I don’t expect someone to fund my dining.
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I agree with the bolded/italicized. Would you take someone to an expensive restaurant without talking about it first?
 
Chdamn said:
It’s a catch 22 about price.

If you ask someone “hey do you have the money to buy a $16 lunch or are you a poor” you’re an ass.

If you assume the other person can afford it and they can’t you’re an ass.

As far as who pays I always assume it’s separate checks unless it’s a business lunch. Unless it’s established up front as in “hey I’m buying lunch today”.

In the grand scheme of things $16 isn’t that much money for lunch anymore. I’d just chalk it up as an occasional splurge and be happy a friend wanted to have lunch with me.
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Hey can you afford a taco bell $5.00 Box for lunch? I can I work 10 yards from the bathroom.
 
Chuckman said:
I agree with the bolded/italicized. Would you take someone to an expensive restaurant without talking about it first?
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Honestly it depends on a few things. The company and the definition of expensive.

Considering that some meals at fast food restaurants are going to run you $12 it’s changed what my definition is.

To me $8-10 is cheap for lunch. Yeah you can eat a couple chili dogs for less but you can’t or shouldn’t do that every day.

$10-20 is moderate and over that is expensive.

And again it depends on the company. I wouldn’t hesitate to invite any of my friends to meet me for lunch at a moderately priced restaurant. Hell that’s just about any non fast food chain nowadays.

Not every day but once a month wouldn’t be an issue for me or them.

There are a few friends of mine who I would invite out to more expensive places.

Now if the price is going to be sky high there’s only one or two friends I would ask and let them know up front.

If you think $16 is high you’d have lost your mind at the place @bigfelipe and I went out to dinner with the ladies one night.

$16 wouldn’t have covered half of the tip.
 
Cowboy said:
Hey can you afford a taco bell $5.00 Box for lunch? I can I work 10 yards from the bathroom.
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I’ve worked with people that only eat under $5 for lunch. I only went with them once to convince me I’d be dead in a year if I ate like that every day.
 
Moved my son into App State last week and we hit one of the campus cafeteria's while there. His meal was covered under the meal plan and mine was $10.50, which was a bargin in today's world. It's all you can eat until you walk out the door. I wouldv'e had to pay twice that or more for what I ate anywhere else.
 
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Chdamn said:
Honestly it depends on a few things. The company and the definition of expensive.

Considering that some meals at fast food restaurants are going to run you $12 it’s changed what my definition is.

To me $8-10 is cheap for lunch. Yeah you can eat a couple chili dogs for less but you can’t or shouldn’t do that every day.

$10-20 is moderate and over that is expensive.

And again it depends on the company. I wouldn’t hesitate to invite any of my friends to meet me for lunch at a moderately priced restaurant. Hell that’s just about any non fast food chain nowadays.

Not every day but once a month wouldn’t be an issue for me or them.

There are a few friends of mine who I would invite out to more expensive places.

Now if the price is going to be sky high there’s only one or two friends I would ask and let them know up front.

If you think $16 is high you’d have lost your mind at the place @bigfelipe and I went out to dinner with the ladies one night.

$16 wouldn’t have covered half of the tip.
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It's relative, I know.

If I am going somewhere to eat that is expensive (and for me, $16 is expensive), I'd like to be in on the discussion if the assumption is that I am paying.

I am not cheap; I am frugal. With six kids, two in college, a mother-in-law that has moved in with us, my 'luxury' expenses are few and far between. I have had my share of $150/person meals. Now I prefer to take leftovers for lunch. I just want to be part of the conversation.
 
So you went to lunch with a "friend"? Honestly, If I invite someone to lunch and especially if I pick the place...I fully intend on treating my "friend" to a meal and good fellowship.
If you offer to tip, I won't say no, if that helps everyone feel comfortable and balance the scales.
 
The Last Outlaw said:
Guy said let's go to lunch and picked the place, sounds to me like he should pay.
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Man you live in a different world than me is all I can say. I’ve said that and had it said to me a thousand times and I never assumed I or the other person was paying.

The only exception to that is me calling a customer and asking if they have time for lunch today or a vendor calling me. In those cases I assume it’s not Dutch.

But with a friend I’d be shocked if they picked up the tab.
 
I took my Significant Other's car to the train station parking in Downtown Raleigh for her to have when her train got in. I order an Uber back to my house, about 30 minutes or so ride. Uber said 45 minute wait, so I headed in to the Barcelona Wine Bar across the street to have a beer and wait. I got into a discussion with a nice, younger bartender about the Old Fashioned she was making. She went into great detail about the whiskey, sugar, bitters and special black cherries she was using. Being the Renaissance Man I (think) I am, I brazenly said, "Make me an Old Fashioned like you'd make one to turn me into a fan of that drink." I had told her I hadn't had many of them. She suggested Eagle Rare and I said ok.

Well, $29 later, I decided not to get a second one. That's $29 for that drink, plus my beer, plus tip. I've decided to back off the Renaissance act just a little bit.

PS - for $24.95 you can buy a fifth of Wild Turkey 101, and giddy up.
 
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Chdamn said:
Man you live in a different world than me is all I can say. I’ve said that and had it said to me a thousand times and I never assumed I or the other person was paying.

The only exception to that is me calling a customer and asking if they have time for lunch today or a vendor calling me. In those cases I assume it’s not Dutch.

But with a friend I’d be shocked if they picked up the tab.
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Naw...the invitation is just that, an invitation! You need better friends! 😂
 
CZfool68 said:
I think my typical bill for lunch at Jersey Mike’s or Jimmy John’s is about $13 now. $16 isn’t high end any more. And by next year we maybe begging for $16 lunches.
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Maybe Jersey Mike's will make a $20 sandwich and call it the Biden Special. Or the Brandon Special.
 
Assuming you get to sit down indoors when you eat it, $16.00 ain't bad for lunch these days. The days of $5.00 greasy spoon burgers are headed the same place that $0.05 cokes, $0.35 gas, and penny candy went. I very rarely eat out these days.

I always assume I'm buying my own lunch unless someone tells me up front that they got it. And I'm still going to offer to pay my own way even if they do.

There's no shame in asking what the prices at a place are like before you go. Often you can look up a place on google and see the menu, to see if its something you like or in your price range.
 
Schattenreiter said:
II have noticed that some places are starting to charge a 4% add on if you pay with a card. You can pay cash and avoid the charge.

HMMMM that is really gonna screw with the cashless society.
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That’s because credit card fees to businesses have lost their damn minds. They have gone up.
 
I was at a restaurant yesterday and they had it posted on the table "A 3% addition will be added to all credit card transactions" As long as there is honesty and transparency I am OK with it. I just don't want to have to study my check and find out gratuity, a surcharge, or fee has been added to my check without my knowledge....
 
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