You know sometimes I even wash my hands after taking a piss
I'll wash my hands BEFORE I take a piss.
The COB (Chief of the Boat) walked into the head one day while I was washing my hands, then saw me walk over to a urinal to piss.
"You wash your hands before you piss?"
"My junk has been safely stuffed away in my pants all day. I've been all over the engineroom bilge with these hands and I know they've been in all kinds of stuff I don't want on my junk. Damn skippy I wash my hands before I take a piss!"
"Huh...never thought of it that way!"