Thankful for my relationship with my father.

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HMP

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Im sitting here, listening to an audiobook as I drink some coffee (thankfully, unlike @SpecialK , no insects involved - Debeen in HP, good stuff).
It's a book that's unique to me, a book that Im reading for the third time right now and, as mentioned, currently listening to the audiobook too.
Why am I doing both? Well, Im reading the book to my girlfriend, she has some interest after watching a tv show about the band who wrote the book.

Anyway, I never re-read books for pleasure, so this one sticks out.
But that's not why this thread is being written.

It's the timing, I guess.
Tomorrow is Father's Day, and I got to see my dad last night for a big group dinner, hopefully see him tomorrow too. But as Im listening I just heard a chapter about this guy who lost his father and he spoke about the funeral, he only said two lines "First off, he was a shitty golfer. (Goes with what others had been saying about the father being a great friend and golfer) I loved my dad and wish I knew him better."
Earlier in the book he spoke about his father, and he makes other references to him. Parents split up when he was about ten or so, dad moved to a singles community and really spent no time with (the singer) when it was his weekend.
Never really gave the kid any support, never supported his dreams, even when he was succeeding. I mean, how would you fathers feel if your kid showed you a check for $240k to go write an album? He, apparently, said, at first, it probably wasnt real and then just seemed "Eh" about it.

Anyway, they just didnt have a relationship.

I know what comes later in this book, another member and his father's relationship - equally bad, if not worse.

And as I sit here I am just THANKFUL for a loving father who supported me all these years in my ideas (if they were decent ha, trust me, if it was a bad idea he was quick to let me know!), guide me, help me, teach me.
Just to freaking be there.
The man drove me four hours to a skatepark so his kid (me) and his kids friend, who was equally as bad at skateboarding, could go to their first skatepark. Then he went and did God-knows-what in some lame-ass town of Hampstead or something for 7 hours while we were there. Got us a hotel and then we came home the next day.
Oh, we're in Florida for a vacation and the son wants to go to a hardcore show? Sure, I'll drop you off and then come back in about 3 hours and wait around for God-knows-how-long till its over (I had no idea, figured three or four hours) while my kid screams along to some crazy music with strangers.

Im very thankful, and try to express this often. Though it'll never be enough, never enough for all he did and will do.


If youre still reading and have the slightest interest in the book mentioned at the top

NOFX : The Hepatitis Bathtub and Other Stories

NOFX : The Hepatitis Bathtub and Other Stories I dont feel like this will gain a strong interest here, but Im going to post it anyway because I really do recommend it. This will be the second book Ive ever read a second time in full, and not for educational/school reasons. I borrowed a copy...
carolinafirearmsforum.com carolinafirearmsforum.com
 
My dad was rough on me as a kid. Seemed like I was always being criticized for something. And he was rough on me physically for a time. I resented him for it for a long time. We didn’t have the same ideas of what I should or shouldn’t be doing for most of life. He mellowed a lot as he got older, and we got very close after his bout with cancer that lasted almost 2 years. He whooped cancer in 2014 and died on July 4 2018 from dementia. Not a day goes by that I wouldn’t love to talk to him.
 
Burt Gummer said:
My dad was rough on me as a kid. Seemed like I was always being criticized for something. And he was rough on me physically for a time. I resented him for it for a long time. We didn’t have the same ideas of what I should or shouldn’t be doing for most of life. He mellowed a lot as he got older, and we got very close after his bout with cancer that lasted almost 2 years. He whooped cancer in 2014 and died on July 4 2018 from dementia. Not a day goes by that I wouldn’t love to talk to him.
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Brother, my dad whooped my butt every time I screwed up as a kid. It sucked. But Im glad he did, cause not I see how kids with no discipline turn out.
He cussed, he let me know when I screwed up, he scared the hell out of me. I was very scared of him growing up.
Hell, still am.
 
When my dad passed, I was somehow roped into “presiding” over the funeral. I began by saying…

”Typically, a family gives a stipend to a clergy person to officiate over the service. Those clergy persons rarely know anything about the departed. To save money, Dad’s wife thought I qualified.” :(
 
Dad died when I was twenty. He was an extremely smart man(Professor at several well known universities and held a Doctorate in engineering).He was a functional alcoholic for a while after my mom died (when I was 5).Finally the drinking got the better of him and he was forced to retire. As smart as he was he had no clue how to raise three kids on his own. He did the best that he could with what he had to work with.
I was mad at God and him for a long time. I understand it now.
I wish he was around to talk to and to see his grandkids.

If you have parents that are living reach out and just say hello and tell them you love them(even if you don't). Life is short and another day is neither promised nor guaranteed.
 
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Thankful for mine every day. He didn’t take any sh*t from his two sons...we got our asses beat, deservedly, on a regular basis.

But I watched the man work his ass off every day...watched him pack two bologna and cheese sandwiches every day for his lunch instead of grabbing fast food, because it was cheaper. Watched him bend over backwards and do without to provide for his family. Never heard him complain about any of it.

I’ve never questioned whether the man loved me or not...had no reason to, but what really drilled it home for me was the day I told him I had cancer. I’ve never saw the man’s spirit broke, but that day, I did and it killed me inside to see/hear it.

I told him that everything was going to work out, I was going to beat the hell out of it and come out ok on the other side, because that was the ONLY option. He asked me how I could be so sure of it.

I told him, “Because that’s the same thing you told me when you were going through cancer. You survived it...I will, too.”
 
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I lost my father in 2010 to Pancreatic cancer. Less than 3 weeks from diagnosis to his passing.

Dad was a Marine vet of Korea. He did have his ghosts and I only realized it when I became an adult looking back. We had our issues for sure, he whopped my arse growing up and I deserved every lick. He knew what I was going to do before I did. We had a falling out in my late teens, got blamed for something that wasn't my fault he kicked me out and we didn't speak for probably 4 years. A rough time in my life.

Thankfully we reconciled and went into business together for at least 10 years. I really got to know my father as a man during that time. He became my best friend. I wouldn't trade that decade for the world.

He was the hardest working person I have ever known. At 50+ he could physically out work me in my mid 20's. I don't know how he did it. He was the king of on liners, absolutely hilarious to be around. I still quote him a lot, especially to my little sister who was in college when he passed. (my oldest is older than her....)

I hold up a glass to all the fathers that are not able to be here this fathers day, SKOAL!!!
 
I have a great relationship with my old man. I don’t see him as much as I’d like, but often as we can. We have duck hunted every year for closing in on 35 years now. Looking back on life some of my greatest memories have been shared with him.

My first double in little league. My first benching from hitting too many batters while pitching.

Him handing me a beer at 16 in a lounge in Kitty Hawk and just saying “don’t make it a big deal” to hearing him on the phone with a friend before going on a deep sea fishing trip saying “He’s 18, the man drinks beer now.”

To visiting me in college and taking me for drinks at Top of the Hill, to sitting having a beer at a dive bar. Man was/is ruthless to hippies. Had a couple sit beside us wearing patchouli and sipping some fancy hippy brew and the old man rips a loud seat burner in their direction…chuckle and gives me that “Oh I wish they would..” look.

He met with me and about 5 of my friends on spring break when we rented a house at the beach. He was more popular than I was as he cooked ribs and went on a beer run. The fellas idolized him. I think they had rather me have headed home than him. He went into a bar in SC and won 100$ on video black Jack and spent it on a travel grill, ribs, and beer for us.

When he first met my now wife he called me after and said “Alright, how do we close this deal for you.” And then helped me find a ring.

He was my best man at my wedding, was there for the births of all my kids. When our first was born he took care of her for two years every day while me and my wife worked. Never saw that coming. The man is a rock.

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Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
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It’s funny. I hated my father growing up. He was an absolute hard ass. He was also dealing with what we now know as PTSD from Vietnam. And if truth be told from his own father. Jesus the shit my grandfather was responsible for before he died.

I had to basically say screw you and make my own way before he and I could come to terms. I didn’t really speak to him more than once or twice a year for many years.

But it was worth it in the end.
 
Sounds like you are a lucky man. My relationship with my father was poor enough that we hadn't spoken since the late 90s and when he was dying I did not grant his request to talk to me on the phone. I guess the telling part is that I do not regret it at all.
 
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