Much of that depends on how you're going to carry it. I went for years clipping an IWB holster to a walmart belt and it was ok but when I got a belt from CFF's own Curt (
@gunbelt) I suddenly realized I've been doing it wrong all this time. I mention this because you can always find a suitable carry method. The point of this whole exercise is to find a gun that you can draw, aim and put several rounds on target quickly. If that's a 22 then go for it. A couple 22LR's to the brain are much better than 6 357's that miss because you couldn't handle the gun. Most folks end up with a 380 or a 9 because they are easy to control, reletively inexpensive and there are dozens (if not humdreds) of options available. YMMV Find the gun that speaks to you and there will be lots of advice here on how to tailor your gun to your carry style ( I envision you as an LC9 in a corset-kinda gal myself
). Enjoy the hunt!