When The Time Comes

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Chdamn, May 12, 2018.

  1. Chdamn

    Chdamn Dungeon Master Staff Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    When the time comes that I should pass
    Do not mourn me but raise your glass

    Whether rich or poor we all must die
    I’d rather you laugh than sulk and cry

    Fill the hall with music, laughter and cheer
    And serve only the finest whiskey and beer

    Tell stories of my life and make lots of toasts
    Remember how knowing me affected you most

    Do not remember the pain of my death
    Do not be sad I’ve taken my last breath

    Rejoice instead the life that I had
    And take me with you to get through the bad.

    For as long as I’m carried in others hearts
    I’ll aways be with you and never apart.

    And when the party is over and everyone is gone
    Take my ashes and flush them down the John.
     
  2. Inglis

    Inglis Member

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    Is that like a burial at sea of pee?
     
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  3. Chdamn

    Chdamn Dungeon Master Staff Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    Lol. I’ve just always thought it would be a fitting end to my wake. Never been much for the somberness of funerals and respect for the shell that was someone. Better to have a great time remembering their life.

    It may sound like a joke but I’ve instructed my wife many years ago that is my wish. Cheapest cremation service and urn then have a party instead and flush my ashes at the end.
     
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  4. draco88

    draco88 Dang it, Bobby Charter Life Member

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    Same here, boss.
    I want a bumch of drunk ass rednecks grillin, drinkin, and being generally stupid with large fireworks.
    You know, kinda like we do now lol.
     
  5. Burt Gummer

    Burt Gummer Comfortably Numb Staff Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    Ima poop at your house and flush you with my stool on that day
     
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  6. Chdamn

    Chdamn Dungeon Master Staff Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    Like i told you last time, I’d honestly be a little disappointed if someone didn’t at least try that.
     
  7. Inglis

    Inglis Member

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    you must be a real fast smeller.
     
  8. Qball

    Qball Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    Celebrating someone's life who has left us behind. That is what it is. I won't delve into it too much as this thread is in the public's eye.

    That said, I wholeheartedly agree with the OP. Of course there will be mourning. That's human nature. But celebrating the life of someone who has left us behind is the most important thing we can do.

    When my Mom passed away in 2010, I gave the minister residing over her funeral a funny story to tell during the service. It went something like this:

    Here's a funny story from Patricia's son Dave that occurred in the early '90's. Pat called Dave and Susan's house one evening and heard a strange voice on the answering machine.

    Dave and Susan got the message that Pat, her husband (Dave's Dad), and Jean, Pat's sister, left on the recording.

    Pat: "Hmmmm. That doesn't sound like Dave. This is so strange. Jean, call Dave and Susan's house and see what you hear."

    My aunt Jean on our voicemail: "Well I don't know Pat, that doesn't sound like Dave at all on that recording. Dick (my Dad), why don't you call down there and see what you think about this strange man's voice on the answering machine at Dave and Susan's house?"

    My Dad on our voicemail: "No. That doesn't sound like Dave. They must have changed their number or something because That's certainly not Dave on that recording."

    It was the default computer voice on the answering machine after a power failure that had erased our greeting.:D:D

    It's impossible not to mourn a loss of someone you care about, but so much more important to celebrate the life of that person. This applies to beloved pets as well.
     
  9. concepthomes1

    concepthomes1 Your Neighbor Staff Member Charter Member Benefactor

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    Gimme some Taco Bell and I’ll whip up a vortex of hellfire for your ashy self.
     
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  10. 12151791

    12151791 [This Space is Available for Rent] Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    Stolen and passed to my family, some got confused with “the John” since that is my first name. They wanted to change that word to eliminate the grandkids eventual confusion ;)
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2018
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  11. Chdamn

    Chdamn Dungeon Master Staff Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    Try this.

    Make the party epic like I was a famous rapper.
    But at the end of the night flush my ashes down the crapper.
     
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  12. Catfish

    Catfish RIP 1791-2018 Charter Member Supporting Member

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    Likely this would have to be a big outdoor event, so how do you feel about being launched into the afterlife via space shuttle?
     
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  13. wsfiredude

    wsfiredude boat rocker Charter Member

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    Told my son after my ticket gets punched, he's going to inherit my reloading equipment.

    Said to take a grain or two of my ashes and load them into each round, so when he, my wife and my daughter go to the range, I can tag along with them.
     
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  14. BASIL

    BASIL Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    I want to be loaded into my cannon. I have a friend that will do it, if he is still around.
     
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  15. 12151791

    12151791 [This Space is Available for Rent] Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    I think @RetiredUSNChief has a cannon ;)
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2018
  16. BASIL

    BASIL Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    And so do I. 6lb field cannon. That's it in my av pic.
     
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  17. 11B CIB

    11B CIB IG: HandloadsAndHoldovers Staff Member Charter Member

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    I want another handloader to mix my ashes with a few pounds of powder and send me out in a large belt of continuous automatic fire
     
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  18. Grits

    Grits I'm a Dirt Bag. Charter Life Member

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    When i was a young child about age 5 I played under a cedar tree. My grandpa had the side boards for his truck under the tree. We slid boards through gaps in the sides to make a floor for us to play on. My desire is that my body be baked until I am just ash. Dump them under the cedar tree growing in the back yard. My wife.can come and talk to me anytime she wants.

    Sent from my SM-J320V using Tapatalk
     
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  19. Tailhunter

    Tailhunter Cast No Shadow Charter Member

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    Until she moves off some where with another man. :p
     
  20. Grits

    Grits I'm a Dirt Bag. Charter Life Member

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    I am the other man.

    Sent from my SM-J320V using Tapatalk
     
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  21. RetiredUSNChief

    RetiredUSNChief Get over it, snowflake. Charter Life Member

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    Cool!

    Mine's lighter and easier to tote around, though. Video in my signature.

    ;)
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2018
  22. Tailhunter

    Tailhunter Cast No Shadow Charter Member

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    Not dead you ain’t.
     
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  23. RetiredUSNChief

    RetiredUSNChief Get over it, snowflake. Charter Life Member

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    Might be still..if she has that part stuffed and...err..."mounted".
     
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  24. Infamous1

    Infamous1 River Roamer Supporting Member

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    :eek::eek:After cremation I hope:eek::eek:
     
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  25. BatteryOaksBilly

    BatteryOaksBilly Well-Known Member Benefactor Life Member Supporting Member

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    I'm in for the $695 special cremation locally. Then I go in a 6 inch diameter 5 foot long piece of PVC capped on both ends. This to be buried by my shooting friends under the granite front step of The Battery Oaks gun room. Contents will be..
    The ashes of my dogs that precede me
    $100 Bill
    S&W model 36 Chief
    To kinda modify an old saying....There ain't many things a man can't fix with a hundred dollar bill and a model 36.
     
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  26. Infamous1

    Infamous1 River Roamer Supporting Member

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    I am to be cremated and sprinkled at Mermaids Point (the confluence of the Cape Fear River). My daughter (10) says "daddy wouldn't it be better for the catfish you catch if we just chopped you up and tossed you in there?" haha either way works for me kiddo.
     
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  27. Climberman

    Climberman Unstealthiest Ninja

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  28. 1911gobang

    1911gobang Username at Gmail....

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    www.copymekits.com

    Not sure if I want to laugh, or tell Shari that this really is a thing!



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
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  29. Chdamn

    Chdamn Dungeon Master Staff Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    Tried one of those once............it didn't turn out well at all. Looked like some weird, deformed, bug eaten mushroom.
     
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  30. RetiredUSNChief

    RetiredUSNChief Get over it, snowflake. Charter Life Member

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    I'm not clicking on those links at work...
     
  31. Tailhunter

    Tailhunter Cast No Shadow Charter Member

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    My ole man always said he wanted some of his ashes to be loaded into a shotgun shell and shot into the azz end of a bear. He sure could make me laugh.
    Mom had him stuck in a pine box and buried instead.
     
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  32. Chdamn

    Chdamn Dungeon Master Staff Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    Mine has always said he wants to be buried face down so we’d all have a place to park our bikes. Hahahaha.
     
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  33. Infamous1

    Infamous1 River Roamer Supporting Member

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    You think it was the kit or a bad errr...specimen?:eek:
     
  34. Chdamn

    Chdamn Dungeon Master Staff Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    Either or honestly.
     
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  35. RetiredUSNChief

    RetiredUSNChief Get over it, snowflake. Charter Life Member

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    We should ALL be buried in a pine box, in my opinion. Or, rather, we should ALL be able to CHOOSE this option, if we so wish.

    This burying people in a waterproof casket, sealed in a burial vault, which costs THOUSANDS of dollars is a load of horse manure. So is embalming.

    As it turns out, there are actually very few legal requirements on these matters across the States. Embalming is almost never required, but there may be time limits associated with this...like embalming or refrigeration if the body is not disposed of within 24 hours (which makes sense...bodies start decomposing immediately upon death, and it doesn't take long for things to happen and smells to get rank). Home burial is almost never restricted by law, but there may be zoning proscriptions and the like. Expensive caskets and burial vaults aren't required by law, but cemeteries may require a vault to keep the ground from settling. Some states may require a funeral director for some parts of the process.

    All in all, the whole schtick is really a dog-and-pony show for the survivors and that's it. It's always kind of smacked of people taking advantage of others in their "time of need". Seems to me to be a huge expense at a time when the surviving family may actually need the money for other things.

    As far as I'm concerned, my family could sell my body to Alpo (or medical science), take the money (and the money saved from an expensive funeral) and tie one on in my memory.
     
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  36. Scott Free

    Scott Free Active Member

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    I imagine things will go for me a lot like they did for Pat Murphy...


     
  37. SPST

    SPST Member

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    Half of my ashes will be released from a motorcycle going down the Blue Ridge Pkwy, the other half will be spread over a ski slope in Colorado.
    Funerals are just like weddings, both industries have convinced society that they must spare all costs for the "special" day.
     
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  38. 12151791

    12151791 [This Space is Available for Rent] Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    or for the world to kiss his ass ;)
     
  39. SPM

    SPM Patriot Rabblerouser

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    Where did you get it? I'm trying to work out a plan for acquiring one for my SAR Chapter to use - and I've looked at Steen and Dixie Gun works stuff, hut interested in any other manufacturers as well. There's a guy in Argentina that does amazing and beautiful work, but he doesn't ship to the US.

    EDIT: that thing looks fun as hell. I'm jealous. lol
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2018
  40. BASIL

    BASIL Member Benefactor Charter Life Member

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    I got mine from Dixie Gun works.
    Had it shipped to work:eek: you should have seen my bosses face when it hit the loading dock.;)
     
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