Why are there so many weak men

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P01135809

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kcult said:
First?
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I’d they they plan to die…why take other people with them?

They are obviously not that smart. Maybe if we could convince them that the plan was to shoot them selves first then the other victims the overall outcomes would be less tragic.
 
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Lack of coping skills or inability to cope. Partially due to misguided parenting, specifically lack of a proper and correct male role model. We learn "self-regulation" or control of our own behavior through our parents, churches and modeling after others. But, sadly many never receive the instruction. Many think a lot of our values and mores are inate, but they have to be learned from somewhere. We're all animals until we choose not to be.

This is what I believe.
 
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Don't know the details of their split, but speaking from experience, splits can and do cause almost unbearable pain.
Been there...gone through that.
Imagine building a life with someone for 12 years, two great kids, never had a major argument, no obvious signs of unhappiness, no unfaithfulness, then BOOM! "I've changed my mind".
Never considered killing her, but it led to a degree of hate that I never knew existed. That hate ate me alive for almost another 12 years.
Thank God...He took that hate away!
 
Snal~ said:
Don't know the details of their split, but speaking from experience, splits can and do cause almost unbearable pain.
Been there...gone through that.
Imagine building a life with someone for 12 years, two great kids, never had a major argument, no obvious signs of unhappiness, no unfaithfulness, then BOOM! "I've changed my mind".
Never considered killing her, but it led to a degree of hate that I never knew existed. That hate ate me alive for almost another 12 years.
Thank God...He took that hate away!
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Hate will keep you warm and functional when nothing else will.
 
Snal~ said:
Yep, but I didn't know until it was gone that it affected everything in a negative way.
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Sometimes it's like chemotherapy. A little poison for a lot of cure. But yes, long term it is destructive as can be, but damn it can be hard to let go.
 
Trying to be a good influence on grandkids. Life is choices; choices have consequences. Sometimes consequences include pain; helps the learning process.

Pocketknives and whittling. . . Learn as you go. No stitches yet.

Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment. All of it requires letting them DO stuff.

Then manage the outcome to make sure they learn the RIGHT lessons.
 
I've never claimed to be a "high-speed low-drag" operator. At best I'm low speed medium drag.

Cross cushion my tired old feet and help me keep from becoming a fixed fortification. I'm good with that.
 
Half a century on this Earth has taught me:

Women can be seriously ruthless predators. They have a very effective and thoroughly destructive set of weaponry that they can deploy with unflinching and cold savagery. Weapons mostly unavailable to men.
They are not weak, but often their projection of weakness is just one of those many weapons.

Ignore this reality at your own risk.
 
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Some of you who have been around for awhile, may remember back in the CSF days, we had a member who was a LEO and a Staff on the forum do this exact same thing.
 
Car0linab0y said:
Lol now, don't be hatin' on my crocs. I have foot problems and they cushion things.
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Hehe, I've been wearing Crocs for about 13 years now (even in some professional settings -- they have some nice looking ones that don't scream "CROCS!").
 
I know young women who want to be wives, and will make a marriage commitment before God, but there are no Boaz's for them... some of us have decided that we have brought up a generation of idiots.
 
vp9c said:
That would inflict violence on a woman?

Why can’t they just kill themselves first?
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A good question.

However, having survived being married to a demon spawn in my first marriage, I look at many reports of marital issues with a rather jaded eye, wanting to know the "flip side of the coin".

Because while we all know there are truly evil, abusive men out there who abuse women, there are also truly evil, abusive women who abuse men.

It's just that the abuse by women is not as often the straight forward, physical abuse which is more prevalent from men. Rather, it's a long term, manipulative, undermining, pattern of degradation which is typically geared towards transforming the actual and apparent behavior of the man into something "bad" which then makes the woman out to be the victim to others.

Marital discord is rarely entirely one sided.

Does this mean that I'm in the "she probably deserved it" category?

Hells to the no.

What it means is that I acknowledge that there is quite often a lot more history that we don't know about and that most times there will be abuse going on from both sides.

It still bothers me that so many people who were adult and responsible enough to enter into a marriage cannot then turn around later and make an adult, responsible decision to end it without turning themselves into bitter, and perhaps deadly, enemies in the process.

This was sad and did NOT have to happen.
 
Tailhunter said:
Her is another view point.

From a female.

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My Ex didn't leave in order to gain financially, at least not initially. She took all of the cash, but I kept the house and the rental property. I paid child support, but it was very reasonable.
THEN she quadrupled the child support as soon as she found out that I was getting remarried, I guess she wanted me to pay for getting on with my life.
She eventually remarried, and six years later took her second husband for every thing she could get. I was under the impression that alimony was almost non existent in NC
unless there was infidelity...but she got it from him.
 
Derek8404 said:
Some of you who have been around for awhile, may remember back in the CSF days, we had a member who was a LEO and a Staff on the forum do this exact same thing.
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I believe kids were at home & possibly witnessed it. Horrible. Same thing happened to the friend of a good friend on here, though in that case, the female was the perp.
 
Crazy Carl said:
I believe kids were at home & possibly witnessed it. Horrible. Same thing happened to the friend of a good friend on here, though in that case, the female was the perp.
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Yup, I think I do remember reading the kids saw it happen.
 
Snal~ said:
My Ex didn't leave in order to gain financially, at least not initially. She took all of the cash, but I kept the house and the rental property. I paid child support, but it was very reasonable.
THEN she quadrupled the child support as soon as she found out that I was getting remarried, I guess she wanted me to pay for getting on with my life.
She eventually remarried, and six years later took her second husband for every thing she could get. I was under the impression that alimony was almost non existent in NC
unless there was infidelity...but she got it from him.
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The beauty of divorcing someone like my demon spawn ex-wife (and you with your ex) is that you CAN, in fact, move on with your life. If you have no children, it's much easier. If you DO have children, you can weather the storm at least knowing that there's a hard date in which child support will end and then no further involvement with the ex will be required at all.

It's also awesome if you realize that you are, in fact, effed up in the head over it all and need to work on yourself and get yourself squared away before you get involved with someone else...because that sets you on the path to true recovery. Meanwhile, odds are that she will never work to make herself a better person and the one that she latches onto will eventually pay the price for it...poetic justice, especially if he was "the other man", and MOST especially if he was a former friend at the time he was "the other man". Because eff him...he made his bed, he can suffer for it while you sit back and enjoy his future spiral into misery and despair.


😁😁😁
 
Snal~ said:
Don't know the details of their split, but speaking from experience, splits can and do cause almost unbearable pain.
Been there...gone through that.
Imagine building a life with someone for 12 years, two great kids, never had a major argument, no obvious signs of unhappiness, no unfaithfulness, then BOOM! "I've changed my mind".
Never considered killing her, but it led to a degree of hate that I never knew existed. That hate ate me alive for almost another 12 years.
Thank God...He took that hate away!
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I've got that same story with time differences. 5 years together 8 months of marriage. Difference for me was it was directly after college and we had moved 6 hours away from home. I literally had no one until I found God.
 
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