Don't even get me started about where to set the damn thing in the Port a John...
Why would anybody want to set their weapon anywhere in any kind of restroom in the first place?
I carry IWB. When the pants come down in the bathroom, anywhere, the waistband of my briefs get pulled over the top of the holster/pistol grip. That keeps the holster/pistol close to my leg and does not allow it to flop down, completely obviating the need to remove my pistol for any reason.
As for "...how you folks that climb fences, belly crawl under holly bushes, slide down 20 ft dirt mounds, trip over silt fences, roll down hills, and sweat like whores in church carry", I'm not typically that active any more. But carrying in the field or on the job where I may be involved in similar activities, like fence climbing and such, I simply carry my normal IWB.
If I were in come kind of active sporting event where I'd be doing a lot of these types of things, I wouldn't be carrying at all.