Keep my wife in your prayers

Thanks...and keep the prayers coming.

There's a lot going on here and I am well and truly (checks thread location) "upset".

I don't have time to cover everything going on, only the barest tip of the iceberg. And on top of this, our youngest called me with car problems this morning (because when it rains, it might as well pour). I drove two hours to get to her and we'll have things on hand. A car ain't nothin' but a thang, anyway. And my wife was still asleep anyway.

We moved my wife to a hospital last night, where she WILL be for the next several days. Here's the lead up, which will give you guys an understanding on how upset I am.


We had to argue STRONGLY with my wife to get her into medical care. Myself, her sister, and our kids.

Folks, she has HUGE discolored blisters on her feet and lower legs.

Now, right now I KNOW a lot of you are thinking EXACTLY what the problem is and how serious it is.

For those who don't, let me explain.

Several years ago, my wife ended up with a cardiologist for circulation issues in her legs. Poor circulation, massive amounts of fluid retention. She ended up with a couple stents. And medication she'll have to take for the rest of her life.

For several years now, it's been getting increasingly more painful for her to walk.

Could NOT get her to go to a doctor over this. She rather went to a chiropractor instead. Can't talk her into a medical doctor, can't force her either.

Well, FINALLY we got her to see her cardiologist a couple weeks ago. I'm in Virginia for work, but I pushed hard for this. And, her being who she is, I suffered her wrath on this "because she's tired of hearing this from everybody!".

"Take your anger out on me all you want for everybody getting on your *ss about this, but THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU and getting p*ssed at me isn't helping YOU. Get your *ss into the doctor and get this looked at."

Well, she did. Came away with a handful of meds and another appointment for testing and whatnot.

I get home this weekend and I'm helping her get ready to pick up our son, get some lunch, and pick up a few things.

This, folks, is the first time I'm seeing this. She's got PATCHES of skin MISSING on her lower legs and huge, discolored blisters across the top of both her feet.

I'm "upset". I can NOT get her to go see a doctor Saturday.

Sunday her sister has FINALLY gotten through her thick skull to go to the urgent care ER.

But. She. Will. NOT. Get. Off. Her. *ss. And. Get. Moving.

Daddy's Little Troublemaker snatched her phone out of her hands and told her in no uncertain terms she was calling 911 for an ambulance if she didn't get moving.

At the urgent care ER, I talked to the nurse and doctor, out of sight and earshot of my wife, and told them the following:

"I need you to understand what you're going to be dealing with here about my wife. She is not here because she believes in doctors or medicine. She is what I call 'anti-authoritarian. She does not like when people tell her what she can do, nor what she can't do...and the full spectrum in between. She is here because virtually the entire family MADE her come. I'm not a doctor, but I KNOW what we're dealing with here. I lost an uncle decades ago who ended up with gangrene in his legs because he REFUSED treatment. And one of the things I most remember about him was 'I came into this world with two legs, and I'm going out with two legs'."

And then I gave them a run down starting back at the time she got her stents and ended with the fact that I found out that's she's been either not taking her meds like she should or not taking them at all.

When the tests were done, the doctor laid it out in black and white for my wife:

"Are you diabetic?"

"Yes."

(THIS IS HOW I FOUND OUT ABOUT HER DIABETES, AND THAT SHE HASN'T BEEN TAKING HER MEDS FOR IT, NOR HAS SHE ALTERED HER DIET. MY UPSETTEDNESS IS ESCALATING.)

"I don't know how you feel about hospitals and I can't make you go. But you have a blood infection because this has gone septic. This is not something you can go home with and decide what to do later. If you go home, you are going to die. And you may yet lose your feet."

I said "She's going to the hospital."

My wife seemed to think I didn't have any say in the matter. I told her she was going if I had to get her sister and all our kids there to get it done.


SO...

She's been in the hospital since last night. She's on massive IV antibiotocs. She got a shot of insulin, had a bit to eat last night.

I'm torn up.

I am p*ssed.

I'm a basket case.


And my wife? Same anti-authoritarian person as always. Will this be enough to change her ways, beyond simply getting through this alive (with our without her feet)? That remains to be seen.

Anyway... I'm on "man-mode", meaning I'm quantifying things into tasks which can be dealt with and resolved. And there are a lot of things.

Including, of course, our youngest's car problems today.

I did eat today, finally. I figured I'm not doing anybody any good if I drop for lack of nutrition over the last 36 hours.

I'm also talking with people on what I may need to do in order to get legal authority to direct care against my wife's wishes.


Sorry this is so long. It was just supposed to be a relatively short update so I could get back to what needs to be done. I'm sure plenty of you are thinking "Chief? A short post? BWAHAHAHA!"

(In truth, that made me laugh a bit!)
 
By the way...a HUGE stress relief can be found with Tile tags, or whatever other similar tags are out there, like Apple Locator Tags.

When I left this morning to meet my daughter where she was having car problems, all I did was open the Tile app, tap her phone, keys, or earbuds icon (which all have a Tile on them) and navigate right to her.
 
Sorry to hear, Chief. When it rains it pours. Thankfully you and the family were steadfast enough to drag her in there even if its kicking and screaming. Sounds not too unlike what my family had to do to get my mother into the ER with a perforated bowel. And they say men are stubborn...

Fingers crossed everyone comes out of this for the better.
 
RetiredUSNChief said:
Thanks...and keep the prayers coming.

There's a lot going on here and I am well and truly (checks thread location) "upset".

I don't have time to cover everything going on, only the barest tip of the iceberg. And on top of this, our youngest called me with car problems this morning (because when it rains, it might as well pour). I drove two hours to get to her and we'll have things on hand. A car ain't nothin' but a thang, anyway. And my wife was still asleep anyway.

We moved my wife to a hospital last night, where she WILL be for the next several days. Here's the lead up, which will give you guys an understanding on how upset I am.


We had to argue STRONGLY with my wife to get her into medical care. Myself, her sister, and our kids.

Folks, she has HUGE discolored blisters on her feet and lower legs.

Now, right now I KNOW a lot of you are thinking EXACTLY what the problem is and how serious it is.

For those who don't, let me explain.

Several years ago, my wife ended up with a cardiologist for circulation issues in her legs. Poor circulation, massive amounts of fluid retention. She ended up with a couple stents. And medication she'll have to take for the rest of her life.

For several years now, it's been getting increasingly more painful for her to walk.

Could NOT get her to go to a doctor over this. She rather went to a chiropractor instead. Can't talk her into a medical doctor, can't force her either.

Well, FINALLY we got her to see her cardiologist a couple weeks ago. I'm in Virginia for work, but I pushed hard for this. And, her being who she is, I suffered her wrath on this "because she's tired of hearing this from everybody!".

"Take your anger out on me all you want for everybody getting on your *ss about this, but THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU and getting p*ssed at me isn't helping YOU. Get your *ss into the doctor and get this looked at."

Well, she did. Came away with a handful of meds and another appointment for testing and whatnot.

I get home this weekend and I'm helping her get ready to pick up our son, get some lunch, and pick up a few things.

This, folks, is the first time I'm seeing this. She's got PATCHES of skin MISSING on her lower legs and huge, discolored blisters across the top of both her feet.

I'm "upset". I can NOT get her to go see a doctor Saturday.

Sunday her sister has FINALLY gotten through her thick skull to go to the urgent care ER.

But. She. Will. NOT. Get. Off. Her. *ss. And. Get. Moving.

Daddy's Little Troublemaker snatched her phone out of her hands and told her in no uncertain terms she was calling 911 for an ambulance if she didn't get moving.

At the urgent care ER, I talked to the nurse and doctor, out of sight and earshot of my wife, and told them the following:

"I need you to understand what you're going to be dealing with here about my wife. She is not here because she believes in doctors or medicine. She is what I call 'anti-authoritarian. She does not like when people tell her what she can do, nor what she can't do...and the full spectrum in between. She is here because virtually the entire family MADE her come. I'm not a doctor, but I KNOW what we're dealing with here. I lost an uncle decades ago who ended up with gangrene in his legs because he REFUSED treatment. And one of the things I most remember about him was 'I came into this world with two legs, and I'm going out with two legs'."

And then I gave them a run down starting back at the time she got her stents and ended with the fact that I found out that's she's been either not taking her meds like she should or not taking them at all.

When the tests were done, the doctor laid it out in black and white for my wife:

"Are you diabetic?"

"Yes."

(THIS IS HOW I FOUND OUT ABOUT HER DIABETES, AND THAT SHE HASN'T BEEN TAKING HER MEDS FOR IT, NOR HAS SHE ALTERED HER DIET. MY UPSETTEDNESS IS ESCALATING.)

"I don't know how you feel about hospitals and I can't make you go. But you have a blood infection because this has gone septic. This is not something you can go home with and decide what to do later. If you go home, you are going to die. And you may yet lose your feet."

I said "She's going to the hospital."

My wife seemed to think I didn't have any say in the matter. I told her she was going if I had to get her sister and all our kids there to get it done.


SO...

She's been in the hospital since last night. She's on massive IV antibiotocs. She got a shot of insulin, had a bit to eat last night.

I'm torn up.

I am p*ssed.

I'm a basket case.


And my wife? Same anti-authoritarian person as always. Will this be enough to change her ways, beyond simply getting through this alive (with our without her feet)? That remains to be seen.

Anyway... I'm on "man-mode", meaning I'm quantifying things into tasks which can be dealt with and resolved. And there are a lot of things.

Including, of course, our youngest's car problems today.

I did eat today, finally. I figured I'm not doing anybody any good if I drop for lack of nutrition over the last 36 hours.

I'm also talking with people on what I may need to do in order to get legal authority to direct care against my wife's wishes.


Sorry this is so long. It was just supposed to be a relatively short update so I could get back to what needs to be done. I'm sure plenty of you are thinking "Chief? A short post? BWAHAHAHA!"

(In truth, that made me laugh a bit!)
Click to expand...
This is how it goes everytime I have to get my aunt to Dr. When her knee went out I had to force her to get it replaced. When she had breast cancer she wasn't gonna go I told her she was a damn idiot if she didn't go get it taken care of. It's one of few cancers that has a very high success rate of cureing. She wasn't gonna be called no idiot so she went and beat the cancer. Then her shoulder blowed out and the fight started again to get her to Dr. And now shes having alot more confusion and stuff and the fight is on yet again to get her to the Dr's. I don't like goin myself and will put alot of things off. But I know when I'm sick in a certain way or somethings ailing me bad I just got suck it up and go to dr. I feel your struggle and my prayers are sincerely with you.
 
Just now came across this thread. Prayers up for your wife, yourself, and your family sir.
 
Wow… I can only imagine the mental toll on you and your family, but also a bit of relief that your wife is finally in the hospital getting the care she needs.
I hope the Drs are able to work their magic on your wife and this serves as a bit of a wake up call for her.
 
Chief prayers up for you and the wife.

The one thing I have learned is you have to be your own advocate when it come to your health. I'm a type 2 diabetic. My NP told me if I didn't get my shit together she would drop me as a patient. That was two years ago. A couple of weeks ago my a1c was 6.9. Best its been in years. The NP was giddy when she told me. She has also told me "don't change anything you're doing" to keep all my blood work numbers where they are.

One thing that has helped my numbers is Korean red ginsing. I started taking it about two years ago. I have seen my numbers drop from its use. I wake up in the mornings and I'm seeing numbers like, 58, 70, 89. I had read that ginsing had showed promise in some studies suggesting that it helped the body use insulin better. Amazon delivers me a bottle every month.

I know this is a up hill battle with the wife. When you're not home it's going to take someone there who will hold the wife accountable for taking her meds, looking at her feet to make sure nothing new pops up, and her getting to her Dr appointments. It means setting up pill boxes. Have meds with her if she's out away from home. If it comes down to her medical "warden" watching her swallow the meds or giving her a shot of insulin, so be it. I hate to say health intervention, but she has got to get serious about this. I don't care if you you make her read this. She has a family that cares about her and she needs to do what she must do so she can stick around here longer.
 
Chief, you can only do what you can do. You can't make someone do the right thing for themselves, you can only try. (my mother was septic, refused to go to the hospital for quite a while - came out of it OK)

God Bless and Good Luck. More prayers for you and your family tonight.
 
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@RetiredUSNChief , your wife and your family are in my prayers. There's a lot that I could say to her, but neither here nor now. She'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
 
4:30 am.

Got up to pee (around 1 am) and Beth was restless and "burning up", and had tossed her blankets off. Which told me her temperature had dropped.

Go the nurse...96.9F. About a degree below her normal.

I asked the nurse if her blood sugar could be low and cause this since they're still finding a proper insulin balance for her, and she said it could indeed.

63. They're trying to maintain 80-120.

Did an IV for dextrose (kinda cool to see the flow rate essentially drain the bag before your eyes). She settled down again and 15 minutes later her blood sugar measured in at 110.

A few more minutes and she wanted her blankets back over her.

Another hour or so and she's restless and panting. Got the nurse again...60. Another bag.

Settled back in and another nurse came in to take her temp, change the linen, and her pants (or whatever they call those things). 95.6F.

She's resting again. If her blood sugar drops again (they'll be checking again soon), they'll put her on a continuous drip.
 
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RetiredUSNChief said:
4:30 am.

Got up to pee and Beth was restless and "burning up", and had tossed her blankets off. Which told me her temperature had dropped.

Go the nurse...96.9F. About a degree below her normal.

I asked the nurse if her blood sugar could be low and cause this since they're still finding a proper insulin balance for her, and she said it could indeed.

63. They're trying to maintain 80-120.

Did an IV for dextrose (kinda cool to see the flow rate essentially drain the bag before your eyes). She settled down again and 15 minutes later her blood sugar measured in at 110.

A few more minutes and she wanted her blankets back over her.

Another hour or so and she's restless and panting. Got the nurse again...60. Another bag.

Settled back in and another nurse came in to take her temp, change the linen, and her pants (or whatever they call those things). 95.6F.

She's resting again. If her blood sugar drops again (they'll be checking again soon), they'll put her on a continuous drip.
Click to expand...
Prayers this morning for your wife, you, your family, and the docs treating her.
 
I've been talking to her doctors and specialists, out of earshot, to make sure they all understand her personality.

They're being straight up with her on the complexity and complications, that she could die from this, that she may even lose her legs.

Her cardiologist, already very blunt, is going to be very direct with her. What are your intentions? Do you want to die? Are you going to follow strict instructions? Do you want a DNR?

We're looking at heart failure (10-15% capacity... normal is 50% or greater). Kidneys impaired. Diabetes. The issues with her legs/feet and the blood infection as a result.

Her blood sugar was 400 when she came to the hospital Sunday. They gave her insulin to get it to 80-120 range. Overshot to about 73. Tweeked it in with food and whatnot.

A lot of options are off the board for treatment because of things like the severe loss of kidney function. Some meds could make that worse. And her kidneys won't handle the opaque dye they need for a CT scan, so that's got to wait until her kidneys recover enough.

Other meds can't be used because they interfere with efforts to mitigate her water retention.

Can't use compression treatments on her blisters on her legs and feet because that would make circulation in her lower extremities worse.

Right now they've got an inflatable blanket thingie over her with warm air blowing through it to bring her body temperature back up.

Started the IV drip for blood sugar... they'll be checking that every half hour for a while.

Tomorrow (this morning? Kinda losing track of time) they're supposed to put a stent in her right leg (I think) to get circulation back up. The left left will require surgery, looks like. Bypass? They're discussing how to improve the risk factors enough to do that.


I'm kinda numb.

@GoWolfpack , give my boss a short update from this and tell him I'll work a few minutes in to call when I get a chance.

Thanks for being a sounding board, guys.

And yes...I have family and friends who are supporting.
 
May God give you the strength to deal with the challenges and God Hand be upon your wife for healing.
 
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