Keep my wife in your prayers

After shift change this morning, the oncoming nurse did just about the most polite "get the f### out of here and get some d*mn sleep" I've ever heard!

Went home, showered, tossed a load in the wash, went to Walmart to get some things, updated my SIL, grabbed a bite for lunch, jawed with my sister (a cardiac nurse), then went back because by then I was on my THIRD wind and COULDN'T sleep.

BUT...I didn't tell the nurse because I'm guessing she's got stabby needles and I hate needles.

Beth's sister is coming over within the hour and will stay the night so I can get some rest, though.
 
RetiredUSNChief said:
Thanks...and keep the prayers coming.

There's a lot going on here and I am well and truly (checks thread location) "upset".

I don't have time to cover everything going on, only the barest tip of the iceberg. And on top of this, our youngest called me with car problems this morning (because when it rains, it might as well pour). I drove two hours to get to her and we'll have things on hand. A car ain't nothin' but a thang, anyway. And my wife was still asleep anyway.

We moved my wife to a hospital last night, where she WILL be for the next several days. Here's the lead up, which will give you guys an understanding on how upset I am.


We had to argue STRONGLY with my wife to get her into medical care. Myself, her sister, and our kids.

Folks, she has HUGE discolored blisters on her feet and lower legs.

Now, right now I KNOW a lot of you are thinking EXACTLY what the problem is and how serious it is.

For those who don't, let me explain.

Several years ago, my wife ended up with a cardiologist for circulation issues in her legs. Poor circulation, massive amounts of fluid retention. She ended up with a couple stents. And medication she'll have to take for the rest of her life.

For several years now, it's been getting increasingly more painful for her to walk.

Could NOT get her to go to a doctor over this. She rather went to a chiropractor instead. Can't talk her into a medical doctor, can't force her either.

Well, FINALLY we got her to see her cardiologist a couple weeks ago. I'm in Virginia for work, but I pushed hard for this. And, her being who she is, I suffered her wrath on this "because she's tired of hearing this from everybody!".

"Take your anger out on me all you want for everybody getting on your *ss about this, but THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU and getting p*ssed at me isn't helping YOU. Get your *ss into the doctor and get this looked at."

Well, she did. Came away with a handful of meds and another appointment for testing and whatnot.

I get home this weekend and I'm helping her get ready to pick up our son, get some lunch, and pick up a few things.

This, folks, is the first time I'm seeing this. She's got PATCHES of skin MISSING on her lower legs and huge, discolored blisters across the top of both her feet.

I'm "upset". I can NOT get her to go see a doctor Saturday.

Sunday her sister has FINALLY gotten through her thick skull to go to the urgent care ER.

But. She. Will. NOT. Get. Off. Her. *ss. And. Get. Moving.

Daddy's Little Troublemaker snatched her phone out of her hands and told her in no uncertain terms she was calling 911 for an ambulance if she didn't get moving.

At the urgent care ER, I talked to the nurse and doctor, out of sight and earshot of my wife, and told them the following:

"I need you to understand what you're going to be dealing with here about my wife. She is not here because she believes in doctors or medicine. She is what I call 'anti-authoritarian. She does not like when people tell her what she can do, nor what she can't do...and the full spectrum in between. She is here because virtually the entire family MADE her come. I'm not a doctor, but I KNOW what we're dealing with here. I lost an uncle decades ago who ended up with gangrene in his legs because he REFUSED treatment. And one of the things I most remember about him was 'I came into this world with two legs, and I'm going out with two legs'."

And then I gave them a run down starting back at the time she got her stents and ended with the fact that I found out that's she's been either not taking her meds like she should or not taking them at all.

When the tests were done, the doctor laid it out in black and white for my wife:

"Are you diabetic?"

"Yes."

(THIS IS HOW I FOUND OUT ABOUT HER DIABETES, AND THAT SHE HASN'T BEEN TAKING HER MEDS FOR IT, NOR HAS SHE ALTERED HER DIET. MY UPSETTEDNESS IS ESCALATING.)

"I don't know how you feel about hospitals and I can't make you go. But you have a blood infection because this has gone septic. This is not something you can go home with and decide what to do later. If you go home, you are going to die. And you may yet lose your feet."

I said "She's going to the hospital."

My wife seemed to think I didn't have any say in the matter. I told her she was going if I had to get her sister and all our kids there to get it done.


SO...

She's been in the hospital since last night. She's on massive IV antibiotocs. She got a shot of insulin, had a bit to eat last night.

I'm torn up.

I am p*ssed.

I'm a basket case.


And my wife? Same anti-authoritarian person as always. Will this be enough to change her ways, beyond simply getting through this alive (with our without her feet)? That remains to be seen.

Anyway... I'm on "man-mode", meaning I'm quantifying things into tasks which can be dealt with and resolved. And there are a lot of things.

Including, of course, our youngest's car problems today.

I did eat today, finally. I figured I'm not doing anybody any good if I drop for lack of nutrition over the last 36 hours.

I'm also talking with people on what I may need to do in order to get legal authority to direct care against my wife's wishes.


Sorry this is so long. It was just supposed to be a relatively short update so I could get back to what needs to be done. I'm sure plenty of you are thinking "Chief? A short post? BWAHAHAHA!"

(In truth, that made me laugh a bit!)
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Praying with and for her and you.
 
Got some much needed rest last night. SIL relieved me for the night and I had a chance to make a cracker run to Walmart on the way home to pick up something the nurses said she could snack on.

I didn't think I'd get much sleep, but a little bit of CFF cured that it seems, because the next thing I saw was sunrise.

Her kidneys aren't picking up the load right now. It isn't helping that she's hit congestive heart failure with 10-15% blood flow. Not enough for the kidneys to do their job right.

Dialysis might be in the future.

Tomorrow they're going to do an angioplasty procedure and also take pictures to see about doing something to improve the blood flow going down to her feet.

The cardiologist has talked to Beth about what her intentions are. She wants to go ahead with the medical care, but she understands the risks.

I need to talk to her to clarify her wishes. Right now, I know "no extraordinary" lifesaving measures if she should actually die. But resuscitation is NOT off the table with her.

Years ago, I knew her wishes about lifesaving during pregnancy, and that was straight up that she would sacrifice her life for that of the unborn child. Aborting the child was NOT an option for her. (Fortunately it never came down to that.)

Anyway, I've got to know exactly where she stands on resuscitation measures.

Let's see... what else?

Lady came by and trained her up on diabetic blood testing and had her demonstrate she could is the gizmo. Also trained her on the insulin pen and got her to demonstrate it. Same with the old fashioned syringe/bottle. Also talked about the freestyle gizmo.

Got the info on dietary limitations on carbs and sodium so I can make good choices for snacks while she's here.

Oh, yeah... she was on oxygen this morning for a while before I got here. Blue lips, not coherent. She's fine now, though.
 
@RetiredUSNChief keep your spirits up. A couple of years ago my dad was in the cardiac ICU with major fluid build up problems and heart failure. It took a little while but once they were able to get the fluid levels under control, other things like heart function started to improve as well. I think he went from about 10% to 30% with the fluid stabilizing, and then other measures from there continued the improvement.

We're all pulling for you and your wife.
 
Chief, we were there last year with our son, acute pancreatitis. I think we lost him about 6 times. They even had him on a ventilator for a while. He was in the hospital 6 mo roughly. He went septic, is now an insulin diabetic. We are low carb anyway, but that helps. Watch and make sure her blood sugar doesn't stay high. The staff doesn't care much about high numbers, low is bad but high glucose can cause neuropathy in the extremities.

Our son has neuropathy, complained about foot pain and they just thought it was because he was on his back so long. Mention it to them. I know that isn't the main concern right now but...

He was also on dialysis, kidneys failed twice, but started functioning again. When he finally came home, he was on an infusion bag for months.

If you need someone to talk to about what you are going through, low carb, or anything, from someone that has been there, PM me and I'll give you my cell number.
 
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These people are good. They're all over explaining these complications. Blood sugar too low or too high, kidney function, water retention, blood flow, neuropathy, etc.

The problem is she deliberately ignored EVERYTHING and actively refused competent medical attention until her diabetes effed up her entire system. Now it's a huge jigsaw puzzle of catastrophes to navigate through, trying not to make some things worse while trying to make other things better.

The staff here are awesome.
 
RetiredUSNChief said:
I didn't think I'd get much sleep, but a little bit of CFF cured that it seems, because the next thing I saw was sunrise.
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If you're gonna call us boring, be prepared for us takin' it up a notch... :)

Seriously, glad you got some much needed rest and thanks for the update. I hope, once the immediate concerns are behind her (and you), this will be a watershed moment and she'll opt for more conscious care of herself - for the rest of thefamily as well as herself.
 
RetiredUSNChief said:
Got some much needed rest last night. SIL relieved me for the night and I had a chance to make a cracker run to Walmart on the way home to pick up something the nurses said she could snack on.

I didn't think I'd get much sleep, but a little bit of CFF cured that it seems, because the next thing I saw was sunrise.

Her kidneys aren't picking up the load right now. It isn't helping that she's hit congestive heart failure with 10-15% blood flow. Not enough for the kidneys to do their job right.

Dialysis might be in the future.

Tomorrow they're going to do an angioplasty procedure and also take pictures to see about doing something to improve the blood flow going down to her feet.

The cardiologist has talked to Beth about what her intentions are. She wants to go ahead with the medical care, but she understands the risks.

I need to talk to her to clarify her wishes. Right now, I know "no extraordinary" lifesaving measures if she should actually die. But resuscitation is NOT off the table with her.

Years ago, I knew her wishes about lifesaving during pregnancy, and that was straight up that she would sacrifice her life for that of the unborn child. Aborting the child was NOT an option for her. (Fortunately it never came down to that.)

Anyway, I've got to know exactly where she stands on resuscitation measures.

Let's see... what else?

Lady came by and trained her up on diabetic blood testing and had her demonstrate she could is the gizmo. Also trained her on the insulin pen and got her to demonstrate it. Same with the old fashioned syringe/bottle. Also talked about the freestyle gizmo.

Got the info on dietary limitations on carbs and sodium so I can make good choices for snacks while she's here.

Oh, yeah... she was on oxygen this morning for a while before I got here. Blue lips, not coherent. She's fine now, though.
Click to expand...

Carbmanager.com

Run everything through that for total carbs
 
Gotta be near 3:30. Just finished cooling down the baked potato!

Beth was a bit chilled last night and couldn't get warmed up under the blanket, so the nurse put the warm air hose under the blanket, which worked well.

About 2 am she's decided she's done baking, as she's now "burning up". Tossed the blanket /sheet off, ice chip time, fan cool air with a folder, etc.

Tucked back in, now, under sheet/blanket. Another blanket ready.

Amgioplasty sometime today. Dunno when.

God, I love Dr. Pepper. What an awesome sipping drink. I can nurse a bottle for hours and it doesn't turn nasty tasting when it gets warm. Mr. Pibb is that way for me, too.
 
She's in the OR now for angioplasty on her right leg.

They've also decided that the risks of losing her left foot, or more, outweigh the risks the opaque dye for a CT scan has on her kidneys. They did what they could to minimize the kidney risks.
 
Yikes. I pray that you will have strength, courage and wisdom in the valley! 🙏
 
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