After 20 years, wife wants separation...

At 62 after 32 years of marriage mine told me she want me to leave.
I did, we were renting a house after moving back here from Florida.
It's been 6 years now.
I never say anything negative about her to the girls, when she lost her job and started back to school I told the girls she would do very well.

Hang in there, there'll be rough times, but you can and will get thru them.
 
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It's amazing how quite a house is when you are the only one in it....I'm going to tun the living room into my dry fire range, the dinning is going to be my reloading room.

This is probable the only time in my life I thought about renting a woman for a few hours....
 
AR10ShooterinNC said:
It's amazing how quite a house is when you are the only one in it....I'm going to tun the living room into my dry fire range, the dinning is going to be my reloading room.

This is probable the only time in my life I thought about renting a woman for a few hours....
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I hope you find one that plays chess.
 
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well I was married to my first one for 25we parted on decent terms I've said maybe 10 words to her in over 20 years and we're fine with it got a wife now that will be the last been with her 20. I feel for you its a crappy thing to happen but its like anything else tomorrow is another day
 
When my wife and I separated/divorced many years ago,we divided everything right down the middle. She got the house and the furnishings and I got the great outdoors. I have never regretted that decision. Look after your children and listen to the GOOD advice being offered.
 
She wanted the marriage to end. You should have asked her to make the move. When the lawyers get involved there will be no separation agreement. Only a final tally as they string it out over time for more money. For the sake of your sanity stay busy doing anything. Don’t sit around and dwell on it. It’s going to be difficult but mental anguish takes it’s toll on your physical health.
 
Sorry man. I’m sure thatsa deep cut. Huge life changes take some getting used to.

That said: man there is a whole big beautiful world out there. You’ve raised kids and family, now you have time to spend time on yourself. Get really into something. Meet new people. You mentioned dry fire: now you can go to any match or do any shooting activities with zero concern for other obligations.
Try new stuff. 50 is the new 35. Maybe snag a new dog if you don’t have one.
Become a better version of yourself. Cowboy up and have some fun.
Being single can be awesome.
 
Statistically in this country 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Ive seen marriage last 18 mos. Ive seen marriages last 18 yrs and Ive seen marriages last 36 yrs but all of those ended in divorce. Mine is bucking the trend but I UNDERSTAND how this happens now more than ever. Outside influences beyond one or both peoples control. Interests change. Couple "grow apart". Extended family situations. Etc. You can still love the other person and they can love you but one or the other decides its time to go. I get it now more than ever after 36 yrs of marriage. My spouses attitude towards our marriage changed over night. I think it is biological more than psychological but it is still not what I signed up for. We also have 2 octogenarian mothers and a sister driving us CRAZY and the added stress of that is not helping. I'm ready to move way the hell away from those problems and let them sort themselves out but my "current" wife is not hearing it. I would say hang in there but that is BS. Cope with it in your own way and good luck to you. Dogs are mans best friend and they will eventually die but they wont divorce you.
 
Better to find out now. Just means you now have the opportunity to find true happiness out there. Sorry for your situation.
 
Do prenups have an expiration and they have to be renewed before they expire?
 
Grits said:
For the OP. Start digging. Women do not do this out of the blue. There is another person that is not known.
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And on a personal note this applies to men also. If there's not another person involved I'll shoot my pinky toe off.
BUT if you can pull off your Arrangement like stated above...leave all this alone and Sign The Papers.
 
If you've been injured, you might be entitled to compensation. This is not a joke, though most folks don't pursue it.

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AR10ShooterinNC said:
After 20 years, my wife said, she is not in love with me anymore, but still loves me....I don't get that....out of the blue, we went the beach over fathers day, had a great weekend, for my B-day in Aug a fun weekend, then our 20th anniversary in Sep, was a good weekend, 7 days after that she wants me to leave.....God this sucks, I'm spending my first night in my new rented house. Spend Friday and today moving my stuff out. We have 1 daughter that is in her 2 year of college, our son is in 11th grade....Starting over at 50 is going to be interesting.
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Man! I hardly know what to say, except that I am very sorry. I am hoping that maybe this can be salvaged with counseling maybe? There have been other guys here on the forum who have faced similar stuff and who were able to pull it out. Hopes and prayers you will have the same.
 
AR10ShooterinNC said:
It's amazing how quite a house is when you are the only one in it....I'm going to tun the living room into my dry fire range, the dinning is going to be my reloading room.
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My wife of 19 yrs now, found it interesting that I had a gun safe in the dining room (This was 5 yrs after divorce).....
 
Lots of great advice given previously. I'll throw my to 2 pesos in. Depression is a killer. Its ok to be depressed during this, but you must find a way to actually deal with it. Hanging with friends, therapy, medication, what ever it takes!

I had great family and friends support me through my divorce. The depression lasted a long time. I finally had to turn the Depression into anger to finally get past it.

Do whatever it takes to get help and get the Depression under control.
 
I hate to hear your understanding of home and life have pulled out from under you.

When we became empty nesters, we were not ready fir the bumpy relationship road. It seems to be very common.
 
Pink_Vapor said:
I hate to hear your understanding of home and life have pulled out from under you.

When we became empty nesters, we were not ready fir the bumpy relationship road. It seems to be very common.
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Empty nesters is really tough on relationships. Women do not deal with it well. Spending a lifetime nurturing then it all ends. My wife had a double douse of it. Identical twin premie babies lived and were raised basically by us while my son finished college. When he finished, off to marriage and the US Army with the babies.
 
BlackGun said:
Empty nesters is really tough on relationships. Women do not deal with it well. Spending a lifetime nurturing then it all ends. My wife had a double douse of it. Identical twin premie babies lived and were raised basically by us while my son finished college. When he finished, off to marriage and the US Army with the babies.
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I thought it was going to be peaches and cream, back to us time like in our 20’s.
Nope, we had to, and are working at rebuilding a relationship.
 
I'm not going to lie it's going to be rough on you but it will get better. I went thru it 8 years ago and I will admit I'm a helluva lot better off without her.
 
The living alone thing hurt me after my separation. You will be happier with time. I personally would not want to be stuck with someone that does not want me. Good luck.

Sent from my moto z4 using Tapatalk
 
AR10ShooterinNC said:
We have prenup....break up of assets is easy, she doesn't want to fight, the house will be sold 6 months after my son graduates High School. No pay out to each other, we each keep our 401K and retirements, split money in joint accounts. I have already moved my guns and other toys to the new place.
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Sounds like you are set as far as division of property. Now move on asap. My 1st wife did the same thing . had a great week with her the out of the blue she says I hate your f'in guts and want a divorce. I left with truck .couch ,recliner,
set of sheets,a blanket,2 knives 2 forks,2 spoons. 2 plates 2 bowls etc. She said why do you need 2 of everything. I said I ain't going to be alone long. Never really looked back.
 
AR10ShooterinNC said:
After 20 years, my wife said, she is not in love with me anymore, but still loves me....I don't get that....out of the blue, we went the beach over fathers day, had a great weekend, for my B-day in Aug a fun weekend, then our 20th anniversary in Sep, was a good weekend, 7 days after that she wants me to leave.....God this sucks, I'm spending my first night in my new rented house. Spend Friday and today moving my stuff out. We have 1 daughter that is in her 2 year of college, our son is in 11th grade....Starting over at 50 is going to be interesting.
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Wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy but as someone already said, move on. Don’t dwell on the past or WASTE TIME beating yourself up or asking why. Been there twice. Be thankful you don’t have younger kids. You are way ahead of the curve not having to haggle about assets. It WILL get better.
 
JohnFreeman said:
My wife of 19 yrs now, found it interesting that I had a gun safe in the dining room .....
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I had a Harley Davidson parked in mine.

Great use of otherwise wasted space, right?
BTW, grandma gave me the big potted plant.

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Im terriby sorry to read that first post, I hope youre ok.
 
There are plenty more fish in the ocean. All my old drinking buddies have been divorced at least once and they all found new women. The one who has been married twice finally wised up and aint doing it again and his girl friend seems to be fine with that.
 
Sorry man.
What a kick in the gut.
Let others on here that have went through it help you to get through this.
 
AR10ShooterinNC said:
Thanks for all the support!

It was a long night home alone, but I did go out this morning and did my food and supply shopping.
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What part of the state you in?

So we at least know if we are close. In case you need some range socialization or something.
 
BlackGun said:
Smart man. Got a plastic carpet runner under it for all the oil it will leak. Buy Yamaha.
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That was a new Evo in 1985 when that pic was taken. Belt drive, no chain oiler, no leaky, except for the crankcase breather that I rerouted under the bike to spit crud out instead of into my carburetor.

My new 2020 doesn’t leak either.

Sorry OP for the thread drift! I do like the living room dry fire range idea.
 
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BTDT .... After 19yrs. She left after 8yrs, we reconciled 18mos later, built a 4200sf house on 2ac, I built a 1800sf shop. That lasted 10yrs till I finally had enough. She got the real estate, I got the cash. I changed jobs, bought a new jeep for the first time in 20+ years. I felt the best I had in years. I also found out she left the first time because of a coworker. Oh well, that's past...... Got a call asking me to lunch from my high school girlfriend of 3 years, recently separated. We've been married 8yrs now. Best thing that ever happened to me. Keep your head up. You never know what's around the next corner.....

Edit to add ...I never had kids of my own. New wife had a daughter who is now married and has a 2yr old daughter. I'm a grandpa and killing it!!
 
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AR10ShooterinNC said:
After 20 years, my wife said, she is not in love with me anymore, but still loves me....I don't get that....out of the blue, we went the beach over fathers day, had a great weekend, for my B-day in Aug a fun weekend, then our 20th anniversary in Sep, was a good weekend, 7 days after that she wants me to leave.....God this sucks, I'm spending my first night in my new rented house. Spend Friday and today moving my stuff out. We have 1 daughter that is in her 2 year of college, our son is in 11th grade....Starting over at 50 is going to be interesting.
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If she wants out she should be the one moving out. Just my $0.02.
Sux. I've only been on the kid side of it.
Fingers crossed that she comes to her senses.
 
AR10ShooterinNC said:
I hired an attorney mid October, 10K retainer, She hired her own attorney, we have a separation agreement, that will basically become the divorce.
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Just be glad you are not in MA. Regardless any agreement, judges often give the wife all the assets, including husband's 401K, and stick the husband with all the debts including the mortgage for the home he gives to the wife, and the wife's lawyer bill. And alimony and CS that leave many fathers homeless.
 
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